Grasping At Impossible
Chapter 14:

Two weeks.
It had been two fucking weeks, and she still hadn't called me back.
I stared at the screen of my phone, at the picture I had taken of her that last night in my house. The last time I had seen or heard from her since... well, since she left to go home and still hadn't called me. Did something happen to her? Did she leave on another assignment and not bother telling me? No, she wouldn't do that, I was sure of it. She told me when she went to Brazil, and we weren't as close then as we had become that last evening.
I called her twice, once last week just to see how she was doing, if she wanted to meet me for lunch again in Shreveport, or I would drive to see her. Any fucking way I would have had her by my side. I called again three days ago figuring I had given her enough time since the last one, and told her I was thinking about her. I had never told a chick that, and while it unsettled me, I knew it to be true. I couldn't imagine not having Sookie in my life anymore. Whatever her role was in my life, she was needed. I came to terms with that over the last week or so, since I had time from not seeing her.
I slammed my phone shut, exasperated for letting a girl get to me this way. This is what happens when you let a girl get close Northman, you are screwed, my devilish mind supplied, and while I agreed with it, I also knew that no, she wasn't a mistake. She wasn't something I could have my fill of and leave. Sookie was so much more than that. If I was going to play the fate card I would say there was a reason she walked into my bar that night. Something was bringing us together, even though I didn't believe in that shit.
Decision made, I got in my Impala and peeled out of the club's parking lot, determined to see her. If she was rejecting me in some way I wanted to hear it from her, not just be ignored. Now you sound like your everyday whores you used to bed, I thought to myself, and shook them from my mind. Shit, Sookie really messed with my mind.
I heard my phone ringing and flipped it open without seeing who it was.
"What the hell, Eric?" It was Bill, and his tone had just further irritated me. When I didn't say anything, he continued, "We have a meeting in thirty minutes. Get back to the club."
"You don't order me, Compton," I growled, closing my phone and turning it off. I continued down the road, driving like a bat out of hell. Thank god there wasn't a cop around, otherwise I would have been spending the night in jail, or worse, hiding a body. No one was going to keep me from seeing Sookie, not tonight, not ever.
I pulled up to the old farmhouse and was surprised there were no lights coming from the inside, but from the security light was on with its dim glow. I got out of my car, walked up to the front door, and knocked three times. When no one came, I knocked again, this time louder and harder. After a few seconds, I heard the door unlocking, and open. Nothing could prepare me for what I saw.
My Sookie.
My Sookie was run down, her eyes swollen, her face puffy. She had been crying, and then it hit me.
Her Gran...
"Sookie, are you..." I started, but couldn't finish as she threw herself into my arms, her body going slack. I held her to me as she continued crying, turning into hysterical sobs. How long had she been alone in here? I looked around and saw tons of tissue paper strew along the tables and couches. This place wasn't the best place for her right now. Too many memories were surrounding her of her Gran in this house; she needed time to gather herself before going any further.
I silently cursed myself, seeing her in this state. I should have known...I should have called her more, or came over earlier.
Without hesitation, I picked her up in my arms and took her to my car before going inside and gathering her purse and phone that I saw sitting on the coffee table. I locked up the house with her keys and went back to her. When I got in, she wrapped her arms around my free one and laid her head on my shoulder, silently crying again. I pulled the car out of her drive, hoping I was making the right choice in taking her out of there. She didn't try to stop me, or try to resist in what I was doing, so I didn't worry about it much.
When we arrived at my house, Sookie was already asleep so I carried her into my room, stripping her of her sweats and over worn shirt. She needed to get cleaned up, and from the sight of her hair, she hadn't taken a shower in a few days. When she opened her eyes in my arms I caressed her cheek, hoping she wasn't going to break down on me again.
"Sookie, love?" I said softly, and she mumbled something, sniffling a little. "Would you like me to run you a bath?" After a moment she nodded, so I left her on the bed and started the hot water in my tub. It was big enough to fit two people comfortably, and though I wouldn't lie that I hadn't imagined me in there with her on many occasions, I was sure right now wasn't the time for that. She needed me in a whole other way, one that I wasn't used to, but I was going to try; at least for her.
I got out the package of cherry blossom scented hair things and bath soaps that I had bought for her the other week. I never thought I would have ever done that for a woman, but with Sookie I would do anything for her. I put some bath crystals into the running water and turned on the jets in the tub. I decided to light a few candles so she could relax in the water and not have to worry about getting out quickly. I came back in, and saw her curled on her side, her underwear and bra still on. Her eyes were open and were still slightly wet from her recent tears.
I went to her and took her hand, helping her up from the bed. She leaned into me, and followed as I took her into the bathroom and helped her with her bra and panties. I didn't bother allowing my eyes to linger on her, and lowered her into the hot water. She sat up in the tub and didn't move as I began bathing her body with the rag and soap. I washed her hair as well, taking time to comb it out after applying and rinsing the conditioner. After I was done, she leaned back on the bath pillow behind her and sighed.
I sat on the floor, and laced my fingers through her hand closet to me. After a few minutes she finally spoke. "She's gone."
"I'm sorry, dear one," I said, rubbing small circles on her palm.
"I'm all alone."
"You're not."
She let out a harsh sob. "She was all I had left." Instead of responding, I helped her out of the tub as she continued crying, and dried her off with a soft towel. I grabbed the shirt I had taken out of my drawer and helped her put it on, and she looked at me with sad eyes. "I'm so sorry Eric." I had no idea what she was sorry for, but I didn't respond to her either. I dried her hair some more with the towel, before helping her in my bed, and getting her situated. I went back into the bathroom to get dressed for bed, just taking off my clothes and keeping my boxers on. I blew out the candles and took my place back on the bed with her, pulling her body to me.
She rolled over and placed her head on my chest. After a few minutes I decided to break the silence. "You have me, Sookie."
"Huh?" she asked sleepily.
I tightened my arms around her, stroking her arms and back with my hands. "You aren't alone Sookie. I am here, you have me."
She nuzzled her face up to my neck and sighed. "I love you, Eric."
I froze, feeling my body stiffen immediately. She... loved... me?
I looked down at her and heard a soft snore escape her lips. Did she mean it, or did she say that as she was sleeping? Everything in my body screamed to get her out of my bed, my house, my life. I couldn't believe I had let my guard down so much that she was falling... I couldn't even think it. Shit, this wasn't good.
Laying there, thinking about her, feeling her body next to me, her warm scent feeling my nostrils, I knew I was in it deep. Having her this close was becoming enjoyable for me, but where and when did she fall in love with me? Was I with her? No, I doubt my feelings were that deep for her. I craved her company, her body, which I still hadn't gotten a chance to really enjoy, and yet she loves me? I thought you had to really know the person before you took that step of confession. What was even scarier was that feeling in the pit of my stomach that my feelings weren't far off from falling for her. Her face and her laughter was what I wanted to surround me, to be with me always.
Holding her closer, I fell dead to the world the way it should be, with her in my arms.

OoO

The next few days passed really slowly. Sookie hadn't shown any progress since coming to my home, and I couldn't blame her. The only thing that she wanted was to lie in my arms, and when she took a bath, for me to be next to her, talking. She didn't want to talk about her Gran too much, but about her work, and where Pam was. She was apparently called back to LA for some reason by Sookie's boss, and went for the both of them. She was due back in a few days, and Sookie never called to tell her what was happening.
"I didn't want her to worry," she said, looking down at her hands. "I didn't want anyone to worry."
"I tried calling you..."
"I know."
After a moments silence, I finally asked her, "Why?"
She looked at me, her lashes wet with tears. "Why what?"
"Why didn't you call me when this happened?" I asked her, taking her hand in mine. "I told you I would be there for you, so why didn't you answer my call?"
She let out a sigh, closing her eyes. "I was unsure of what...we are, exactly. I didn't want to make you come...it wouldn't be right."
I waggled my eyebrows at her. "You can make me cometo you anytime, Sookie," I teased her, trying to keep the mood light so she wouldn't start crying again. She huffed instead, crossing her arms.
"You see, Eric?" she said, glaring at me. "I don't know what we are. You always kid about things like this."
I took her back into my arms, upset that she would think that. Had I not been showing her since I met her how I liked her? Was it not apparent when we went to Brazil? This woman really didn't know how to read between the lines if she couldn't see how much I liked her.
"Sookie, stop that," I scolded her. "I have told you repeatedly that I am here for you. Never doubt that."
I could feel the tension fall out of her body in my embrace, and she nuzzled my neck. "I'm sorry."
"Stop saying that too," I said softly. "You have nothing to be sorry for." She kissed my neck, and I squeezed her tighter. "Just be here with me, Sookie."
Sookie leaned up and kissed my lips before nodding her head to me. If she would let me, I would take care of her. I wanted her to lean on me, to trust me. It occurred to me that this was what I had been feeling all along, and now that I knew it, I wasn't letting her go.