Fighting Against Fate
Chapter 3:

~Sookie~

"Sookie, girl, I think you have it bad," Pam said as she came over and handed me a drink. I smirked at her comment and thanked her for the water. I had just finished telling her and Amelia about what had transpired on the upper deck.

"I don't have it bad Pam. It's just that I don't agree with how the whole marriage thing is supposed to be. And to top it all off, when I met this man I felt something I have never felt before," I said, weakly grasping the crystal glass in my hands.

"There is nothing wrong with feeling anything Sookie; you need to remember that." Amelia placed a finger under my chin and raised my eyes to hers. "It means you are alive and have emotions. After telling me all of that, I have no doubt that this man must have liked you."

"He was a gentleman that was for sure, but his manner of speaking to me was appalling. It was as though he was, you know, flirting with me," I told her while a blush crept up my cheeks again.

"Oh Sookie, that is normal for a man to do that," Amelia stated and Pam nodded in agreement.

"Well, I didn't. You know that I haven't been around men Amelia. The last one I was around was the one I danced with at my brother's wedding and that was over three years ago," I concluded, embarrassed that I had so little experience with this sort of situation. And there I thought I was a woman ready for anything that came my way.

"I know Sookie, which is why I think you should talk to him again," Amelia said before standing and walking over to the full-size mirror in hallway.

I balked, "What? You cannot be serious. I am to be married in less than a month. I cannot be flirting and receiving attentions from a man I cannot be with. It would be wrong," I said after taking a sip of water.

Pam walked over to Amelia and started to fix the hair that had come loose from her hairstyle.

"I know that, but you can talk to him and use the experience for when you do meet your husband to be. That way you will know how to speak with him when you first meet him," she countered, walking back into the room and picking up her small catch.

"I don't know…" I replied, not wanting to considerwhat she was suggesting. I could not believe I would ever be that brazen with a man, especially one I did not know.

"We can talk more about it over dinner. We have been in here for the past four hours and I am famished," Amelia said.

I got up, slipped on my shoes, and grabbed my small purse before opening the door.

"Pam, we will be back later. You may go to the servant quarters for your meal and come back when you are finished," Amelia told her with a smile.

"Oh yes miss. I shall enjoy myself," Pam said with a devilish smile and then she winked at me. "I hope you run into your new friend."

With that last comment, I decided to leave the room, before I started to turn into a tomato. But then again, I seemed to be blushing more those days anyways.

We walked down the long hallway from our room and made our way down the stairs to the dining hall. When we arrived, there were two men eyeing us at the bottom of the stairs.

I pulled Amelia toward me and whispered in her ear, "Amelia, what is it with men? Is there something tattooed on my dress that says, I am here without a man?"

Amelia giggled, "Sookie, I hate to tell you this, but you are very pretty. I have no doubt you will be getting a lot of attention on this trip."

I groaned because once we reached the bottom steps, the two men walked over and introduced themselves.

"Good evening ladies. My name is Alcide Herveaux," he said, taking off his hat and nodding his head to us. He had rich black hair cut short. He looked to be a very agreeable man, though not overly handsome.

"And I am John Quinn," the other man said, bowing his head slightly and smiling at Amelia. He was tall and handsome as well, and his eyes sparkled a beautiful pansy color that I have never seen before.

"It is nice to meet you. My name is Amelia Brigant, and this is my friend Sookie Stackhouse," 

Amelia introduced us in kind and I smiled at them both

"It's nice to meet you both," I said shyly and they both gave me a smile.

"Shall we?" Alcide asked holding out his arm to me, and hesitantly I walked closer to him.

"Thank you ."

"Please call me Alcide; there is no need for formal names when we are becoming friends," he responded and went again to take my arm; I allowed it after a brief look at Amelia.

He led me to a round table and held my chair out for me. I thanked him and took a seat as he scooted me closer to the table. John had done the same for Amelia and the evening seemed to be going well. They seemed to be very nice men, and truthfully I wouldn't have minded making a few friends on the before we could start to converse, a waiter made his presence known, stepping in between John and Alcide's chairs to address them.

"Hello my name is Trevor, and I will be your waiter this evening. Would you like me to bring over a bottle of the house wine as well as water for your party?"

It didn't escape my notice that the waiter was only talking to the men at the table. That bothered me more than it should –to know he thought I couldn't tell him myself what I wanted.

"Yes, that will be lovely," John responded and the waiter left to get our drinks.

"So ladies, where are you headed once we land in New England?" Alcide began with a warm smile on his face.

I was nervous to speak to them… not knowing how to act. I had always been upset that my grandmother wouldn't allow me to interact with men and now that I had the opportunity, I was flustered. I felt so on edge, not knowing what to do or say. So I plastered on a big smile and turned my head to Amelia to give her my 'answer the men, dammit' look. Amelia caught on quickly and took my hand under the table, giving it a gentle squeeze. I returned the gesture, though mine wasn't so gentle.

"We are due in New England that is all. My friend Sookie here is to be married next month," she answered; Alcide, in return, looked to me as his smile faded slightly.

"I should have known the prettiest girl here would be engaged," he said, leaning towards me and I looked away blushing. He chuckled at my response.

"So tell me about your gentleman. Who is he? What does he do?" Alcide asked while the waiter returned to pour the wine.

"The meal for the evening will arrive in a few minutes. In the meantime, do help yourselves to the caviar," Trevor, the waiter, said, placing two small plates with breadsticks alongside the dish.

I reached out and took a breadstick and started to nibble on it. I noticed that Amelia and John seemed to be getting along well, talking about something in low tones. I couldn't make it out so I turned my head around the room and caught the eye of the one person I swore to myself I would avoid on this trip. His eyes connected with mine instantly, like he knew I was looking at him.

He must have changed; he was wearing a black suit now, though he looked just as exquisite as the last time I saw him. I was still wearing the green dress from earlier, having not remembered it would be customary to change. Amelia and I were so busy talking, we had forgotten.

I noticed he was sitting with two other men and a lady. The lady seemed to be trying to make conversation with him, but his eyes were focused on me. It looked as though he was upset about something, but for the life of me, I couldn't understand why he would be mad at me. I wasn't the one that left the other on the upper deck without saying anything other than my name.

I quickly turned my head, trying to stay focused on my present company. His face brought too many emotions to the forefront of my mind and I needed to keep them under check. I noticed Alcide was looking at me in a curious way like he was expecting something. Oh, I forgot he asked me about who I was marrying.

"I do not know his name or anything about him. The marriage was arranged by my grandmother not long after my parent's death," I told him and he reached his hand over and touched my forearm.

"I am sorry for your lost," he said softly and I felt tears starting to well up. I didn't like talking about them and he seemed to realize.

"Would you like to dance?" he asked me and my mood lightened instantly. There was soft waltzing music playing and a small dance floor in front of all the tables.

I love to dance when I was allowed to. In a small part of my mind, I was happy Adele wasn't here.I can have some fun on this trip.

"I would love to," I responded and he stood from his chair.

He held out his hand and I took it in mine as he led me to where there were a few others already dancing. He placed a hand on my waist and used the other to hold my hand firmly. Within no time, we were twirling around the floor and I was smiling. All thoughts of my parents were removed quickly.

"You are a lovely dancer. Whoever this man is you are marrying will be very lucky," he whispered into my ear and I shivered from the sensation.

I allowed my eyes to look up at that moment and noticed Amelia and Quinn were dancing as well; that pleased me. Cursing my eyes as they sought him out, I looked for Eric and wished I hadn't the moment I did. He looked irate as if he were burning with anger. It was amazing the way I could sense his emotions just from his eyes.

The moment our eyes locked, he got up from his seat and started toward me. I gulped, not knowing what to expect. Was he going to yell at me for earlier? What did I do to make him this angry since it looks like it's me he is angry at?

When he reached us, he relaxed his features instantly; he must have noticed the look of fear in my eyes. He stood by us causing Alcide to stop mid turn.

"May I cut in and dance with Miss Stackhouse?" he asked politely and Alcide turned his head to me to determine what I thought.Well at least someone was.

After a moment, I nodded;there were other eyes watching us and I didn't want to make a scene by refusing.

Mr. Northman took me into his arms and started dancing with me. I noticed his moves were more graceful than Alcide's were and I found myself resisting the urge to lean closer and place my head on his chest. His scent was incredible; he was a man that smoked tobacco, but the brand he indulged in eluded me. The scent was one I couldn't place, but it was heavenly.I never thought that would ever happen since I hate the smell of it.

"I thought you were not here with a man Miss Stackhouse,"he said roughly in my ear. I pulled back slightly so I could see his face.

"What would make you think I am here with one?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"You look very comfortable talking to the men at your table. If you weren't with them, you would be sitting alone," he answered, twirling me quickly in the air and setting me down, continuing with the steps.

"They asked to escort us in and have been nothing but gentleman, I can assure you," I snapped back and he smiled warmly.

"If you needed an escort, I would have been happy to have dinner with you Miss Stackhouse," he said sensuously, pulling me slightly closer; his long fingers digging into my back.

"You didn't give me a chance Mr. Northman; you left rather abruptly when we met."

 

"You will have to excuse me. My younger brother was waiting for me and was not very patient," he explained and I understood.

"There is nothing to excuse. You are here with family; I wouldn't want to cloud their time with you," I replied, trying my best not to be too familiar with him. There was something about him that kept me drawn to him, but I could not give into it.

"I would much rather spend the time with you," he whispered in my ear while leaning closer to me.

"That is very sweet of you Mr. Northman," came from my lips. My lips betrayed my mind that was telling me 'no, don't do this'.

"You have only to ask Ms. Stackhouse. If you are not otherwise engaged, I would like to escort you to dinner tomorrow evening," he said as the dance concluded. He started to walk me back to the table, but stopped and turned to me.

"Are you retiring for the evening after dinner or are you going to explore the ship?" he asked suddenly. I didn't know how to answer so I replied honestly.

"I believe I was going to look at the stars from the upper deck; I wanted to see the moonlight tonight. I have been told the beauty of it rising over the water line is incomparable."

"Then I hope you enjoy your evening," he said as a smile played at his lips and he walked me the short distance to the table. He seated me in my chair and turned to leave, but I cleared my throat, causing him to turn his attention to me.

"Thank you for the dance Mr. Northman," I said with a smile and a blush flooding my cheeks.

He smiled back and nodded, continuing the path back to his table.

"Sookie, you have been busy since coming on this ship," Amelia giggled and I blushed more.

Alcide and John looked at each other for a moment before shrugging off whatever was wrong. 

The waiter brought our meals over and we all ate in relative peace, except for Alcide who continued to ask me more about the man I was to marry.

I had just finished my meal and was desiring some much needed alone time when Alcide spoke up again.

"May I escort you to your room Miss. Stackhouse?" Alcide asked me, holding my chair as I rose from the seat.

Amelia and John had already left to walk to the room, or I at least hoped they did. Alcide held his arm to me and I hesitated.

"I am not going to my room just yet. I wanted to enjoy the stars for a while, but thank you anyways," I said sweetly and was surprised when he grabbed my arm.

"I will join you; we can't have a young woman as beautiful as yourself walking out alone. I will not hear of it," he said, holding my forearm and leading me towards the doors.

I dared to look to Mr. Northman's table and was happy that he didn't notice Alcide taking me outside. I didn't know what it is with him, but he seemed to feel I shouldn't be around other men. If he only knew, I wasn't supposed to be around him either.

"It is a clear night," Alcide said quietly, walking me to the railing on the south side of the ship.

The south part of the ship was restricted to those only on the upper class deck of the ship, so I knew I wouldn't be in any danger. But Alcide seemed to want to accompany me, and I thought it was very sweet of him.

"It is. I enjoy watching the stars;I am hoping to see a shooting one," I said, raising my eyes to the sky and enjoying the cool salty air of the breeze.

"Are you too cold?" he asked me, preparing to take off his jacket if I asked him to.

"No, I am fine thank you. I enjoy the chill on my skin. I am not one who enjoys the heat of the summer. I have always liked the wintertime; it's my favorite season." I started to ramble and noticed that he leaned in to touch my cheek.

I swayed from his reach, causing him to look abashed for a second before dropping his hand.

"Excuse me," he said, walking away from me, leaving me alone on by the railing.

Well, I didn't think that would have upset him that much. But I knew I couldn't let him touch me; I had already made that mistake, and I was still regretting it. All of a sudden I remembered what I agreed to when I was dancing with Mr. Northman; I told him he could escort me to dinner. Oh, no! What have I done? He was the one person I should avoid and yet he seemed to be everywhere I was. I could not do that to myself; I promised Adele I would marry and I intended to stay faithful. Eric's presence seemed to leave me wanting more, and that was not something I should have been encouraging.

"Miss Stackhouse, you are alone?" I heard a voice call from behind me. Please don't let it be his voice…

I didn't turn toward his call; I was determined to be what I should be - a lady about to be married. I was not single to where I could keep his company. As much as I wanted it, I could not risk it.

"Yes I am," I answered softly, looking out over the water to the moon rising over the horizon.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Mr. Northman standing next to me, looking at my face, studying it.

"It is a beautiful sight is it not?" I asked him,referring to the sight before me. It was true what I had been told; the moon over the ocean was one of the best things I had seen.

"Yes, it is," he purred to me, and I noticed he wasn't looking at the moon; he was still looking at me.

I blushed scarlet and I swore it touched my toes.

"I love that color on you," he whispered, taking a step closer and resting his arm next to mine on the railing. I didn't move because I felt a shock crawl through my body from his touch.

At his words, I closed my eyes and I swear I must have looked like a tomato. With our arms leaning against one another, he reached over with his free hand and softly grazed the skin on my arm, causing goose bumps to form and a lump to catch in my throat.

I pulled away from his touch abruptly and his face dropped. I could have sworn I saw his hurt from my actions until he rearranged his features.

"I am sorry for startling you; that wasn't my intent," he said, turning his back to the railing and leaning against it. He pulled out a silver pocket case and flipped it open, revealing cigarettes. 

He took one out, lit it, and sucked in the intoxicating flavor. Ahh, I had been wondering what that scent was earlier.

"Just what is your intent Mr. Northman?" I asked him, walking back to his side, but with enough space between us.

"I am curious to get to know you," he said, taking another draw from his cigarette.

"I am not sure that is a good idea Mr. Northman," I told him while shivering slightly. It was staring to get colder out.

"Please call me Eric," he said, shrugging his jacket off and placing it over my shoulders carefully.

He returned to his spot and I slipped my arms into his coat's sleeves. I took a deep breath and sighed; his scent was even better on his clothes. He noticed and lifted his eyebrow. I, of course, started to blush all over again.

"Now tell me the reason I cannot associate with you. Is your reputation ruined?" he asked and I didn't bother looking at his face.

"Eric, I am to be married in a month's time. Why would you want to waste your time with me, knowing that nothing would become of it?"

My answer shocked him and for a moment he looked guilty.But why?

"I see… does that mean we cannot be friends? I would like to get to know you seeing as we are on this ship for three weeks," he answered, giving me a weak smile.

"I don't think that is a good idea," I said under my breath as I walked away.

He suddenly grabbed my arm and I froze.

"Why are you walking away?" he asked and I felt embarrassed. Not only did I not know how to talk to men, I definitely didn't know how to act around them. I should go through a crash course with Amelia before I go out in the morning just in case.

"I don't think it is a good idea being out here alone with you."

He looked at me incredulously and snorted. "Well that is a pathetic answer. I saw you alone with that other man; my presence shouldn't be too hard to bear."

I felt heat rise to my cheeks and I became irate. "Who do you think you are - following me around?"

"I was worried about your safety and you said you would be outside, so I came to find you," he said,returning my glare.

"Well you listen here buddy. That man walked me out here to be kind. He left because I wouldn't let him touch me and you can be damn sure you are going to get the same treatment. So you can stop following me around because nothing is going to happen between us. That I am for sure of," I all but screamed at him during my rant.

I noticed there were two shipmates walking over to hear why I was causing a disturbance and Eric nodded to them to indicate that I was fine. They stayed where they were looking for something to do, so as to make for sure that everything was ok.

Eric came closer to me. "What do you mean he tried to touch you?" he whispered icily, his eyes burning with hate.

I was praying that I would never be on the receiving end of the look.

"He tried to, but I avoided it, then he left when he noticed my rejection," I told him, not really sure why he was getting so angry about it. Maybe Alcide was in the wrong more than I thought by trying to touch me.

His eyes were wild and I didn't like the look they were giving off. Neither did the other men across from us, as they made a quick retreat away to what I can only guess the other half of the ship. Maybe they thought his look was for them.

Now that I was looking at him head on, I noticed Eric's hair wasn't in the ponytail he had it in earlier. His eyes were averted elsewhere and with some strange impulse I had, I reached out and tucked a strand of his shoulder length hair behind his ear, allowing my hand to linger.

Immediately, his eyes bore into mine, now with a soft and tender look, one that almost made me cry. Why does he give me these reactions?

With a quick motion, he touched my hand with his and held it to his cheek, moving his head in my hand. His touch and tenderness with me was something I was wishing my own husband would have.

"I really should be going back to my room Eric," I said when I noticed his face moving closer to mine.

He pulled back and gave me a smile. "Yes, I think perhaps that is best."

I started to walk away and I felt him grab my arm again, but this time his grip was softer. What was it with this man and his thinking he could touch me when he wanted?

"May I escort you Miss Stackhouse?"

"No, that won't be necessary. Oh and please call me Sookie," I responded, giving him a small smile.

"Have a good night then, Sookie. Sweet dreams," he said huskily, flicking his cigarette overboard.

"Good night Eric."

We went our separate ways and when I opened the door to my suite, I was bombarded by four hands grabbing me and leading me to the couch.

"Ok, girl. Spill," Amelia said; she was already dressed in her night clothing.

"I don't know what you are talking about."

Pam touched the coat I was still wearing. Oh, no! I forgot to give it back to him.

"Whose coat is this?" Pam asked wickedly.

"Oh…Um…" I stuttered, not really sure of what to say.

"Is it Alcide's?" Amelia prompted me, and I shook my head.

"Then whose? I must know," she said impatiently and I gave in.

"Eric's," I said sheepishly.

Pam and Amelia burst out laughing and I stood up in anger looking to them for an explanation.

"You are doing a good job staying away from him Sookie," Pam said between giggles.

I groaned and went into my room, closing the door tight behind me. I couldn't deal with the two of them at the moment. I pulled out a gown for bed and stripped of my clothing,reluctantly calling Pam in to help with the corset.

"I was only playing with you Sookie; I hope you know that," she said once she had the laces undone and was holding the gown to help me put it on.

"I know Pam. I am just unsettled every time I speak to him."

She slipped the gown over my head and I pulled the pins out of my hair.

"Well, I would enjoy myself if I were you Sookie. I know you are to be married, but don't rob yourself of meeting people and getting to know them. From what I hear, from the other servants, he is a nice gentleman," she stated, taking the brush from the vanity and beginning on my hair.

"I like him Pam. And it's wrong," I confided in her and she stopped brushing.

"It is normal to feel for someone, Sookie. It is never wrong. Get to know him, then decide what you want to do," she said cautiously.

"I am getting married Pam. There is nothing to decide; the decision has been made," I said, sighing and walking to my bed.

"Just think about it Sookie. I think you would be happier if you give it a chance," she answered before walking out of the room and closing the door behind her.

I lay there in bed thinking about what she said. I would like nothing more than to get to know him. But it wouldn't be fair to him or to my heart. I already feel for him and leading myself on wasn't going to help any. No. I would not give in; I would remain true to my word to my grandmother.

I would look for Eric the next day and give him my apologies for not being able to attend dinner with him. He would have to understand.