Be Careful What You Wish For

2011-07-09T11:52:00.000-05:00

Hiya peoples!

I bet y'all are wondering where I went or if I had fell off the side of the world and if I was ever going to come back and finish His Sirens Call. And my answer is:

I AM!

Now that I have that settled, lets see what I can put out soon. I have a few chapters written for it, and I'm still tinkering with the main plot. Hopefully it will come together the way I want, so I can share it with you. Unfortunately, I have a really bad habit of keeping things in my head and never writing them out, but my pirate Eric has always had a soft spot in my heart. I can't help but write about him.

Hopefully I will have something posted here soon!

*lots of hugs*

~Sun

2010-05-02T08:45:00.002-05:00

Chapter 1:

Why did I have this feeling that something was utterly beyond my control, and that whatever it was, was going to happen that night?

I wished I could somehow hold myself responsible. I tried to count the times I had the chance to back out of going out with Amelia that night, but failed. Mostly because she gave me none... she wasn’t having no for an answer that time.

I sighed internally as I walked over to my closet and chose the outfit I would wear.

Having no intention of ever playing the part of a woman that would go to the place she was set on checking out, I decided on a white dress, one covered with little red flowers.

I should have said no anyway, protested, put up some sort of fight… and then if she kept it up, I could always have popped over to my cousin’s house to get away.

But of course, I didn’t think that far ahead. And besides, that was the whole point of me living there in the farmhouse. I wanted to have a fair go at living on my own, being normal for once.

Since Gran’s death, I hadn’t stepped foot into the family home that she handed down to me. My time was consumed elsewhere, and I wasn’t complaining. I had accepted my place in life, accepted what it meant when I signed over all rights to the cause I was born into.

Only thing was, I had no idea, at the time, of the level of freedom I would be giving up. That I would be watched over, followed around, etc. - pretty much anything that could be considered an invasion of privacy by common standards.

But things weren’t held to those same standards. No. Definitely not. And not a lot of good things came out of me living in the Faery, and taking control of things there for the past six years.

Sure, I had learned to lead an army, and not just any army, a full guardian army - those who couldn’t be controlled even by the darkest and strongest magic. But it wasn’t what I wanted. Not if I could go back in time and undo my commitment. I could’ve cared less that they only answered to my call. What a luxury that would have been. But I suppose that part of my life was very much as it was that night with Amelia. My choice wasn’t really my choice, was it?

Though I was there, in the farmhouse, living the sort of life I thought I wanted, not knowing what would really come of the next day or the day after.

The irony came to light, and it was shining pretty darn bright. I could command an entire force of nature, but I couldn’t control my friend Amelia; I had no say over where she was taking me.

To a vampire bar. Of all places. I’d already agreed.

And I never went back on my word; that was ingrained.

“Sookie, get down here! I’m ready,” Amelia’s said; her frustrated words filled the house. I could hear her just fine through her mind, not needing her to bring out her actual voice.

“I’ll be right down!” I yelled back, but really snapped it. I could hear her grumbling in her mind, and then her thoughts switched back to considering if she’d maybe find a vampire she could enjoy.

I shivered at the images she projected, throwing up my shields. Whoever wanted that was beyond me.

I was a part fairy, and really shouldn’t be going anywhere near vampires. Niall always told me they would use me, or try to make me do things, and that I would be compelled to do them.

Little did he know (until I straightened him out), that I couldn’t be glamoured and there was no way a vampire was going to tell me what to do. It just wasn’t going to happen.

Taking one last look in the mirror, I nodded, in agreement with myself that I did look pretty good. Grabbing my purse, I went to the front door where Amelia was practically bouncing up and down in excitement.

“We’re really doing this!” she said, following me out as I locked the house up. “I’m so glad you agreed to come.”

I sighed. “Amelia, I wouldn’t be going of my own free will. I didn’t want you to go in the first place, and I’m going to make sure nothing happens to you.”

“Sure…” she said, drawing out the word. “And it’s not because you want to try to read any vampires?”

Rolling my eyes, I walked towards the car.

“I have no idea what you are talking about.”

But that was a lie. I had never met a vampire, being kept in the Faery for so long, and then the revolution happened only a few years back. I hadn’t had the chance to scope any out or to see if their species was immune to me. I had practiced on weres before, and found they came in clear, as did many other supernatural creatures. It seemed the more I worked on my own powers in the Fae, the easier I was able to control them.

“Whatever,” I snapped, throwing the passenger door open and climbing inside. “Are we going or not?”

Giggling with glee, Amelia got into the other side, and started out for Fangtasia.

~o0o~o0o~o0o~o0o~

“Stay close to me and don’t say a word,” I muttered to Amelia.

We were walking up to the club entrance, and there were two vampires standing outside working the rope.

“And do as I say.”

‘Sookie, you need to calm down. I’m here to meet a vampire….remember?’

I rolled my eyes at her thought and walked up to the front of the line. The woman behind the rope looked me over, then turned her gaze toward Amelia. When her eyes roamed back to me, she smirked, her fangs running out slightly.

“You smell…divine,” the vampire purred. “Do show me your ID.”

I handed it to her, keeping my eyes on hers. I could feel her trying to force her will or something like it at me, a slight pressing on my mind, but I pushed it away. So not happening sister.

“Sookie Stackhouse,” she said softly, her eyes dancing. “Here you go.”

I took it back from her and noticed Amelia, staring at her with bug eyes. If her mind was any indication of what she wanted, that she liked the vampire’s lips when she spoke, it was going to be a long night. Gripping Amelia’s arm, I smiled sweetly.

“May we go in?”

Her fangs descended their full length and she took a deep breath, her eyes closing as she savored the air.

She smells so good, the vampire thought. The master will want her.

“Of course,” she said, opening her eyes, and moving the rope over so we could pass through. “I’ll be seeing you later,” she purred at Amelia, who blushed at her words.

Seemed my question for the night was answered. I could hear her clear as day, and that made me a bit uneasy. Vampires could be very hostile if they believe you are entering their, lets just say, personal space. Their thoughts for sure would be dark, and what she was talking about a ‘master’ was throwing me off. Whoever that was, I wasn’t interested in being wanted by anyone, especially if they came with fangs.

We made our way inside and took a seat at a booth in the back. A waitress came over and we ordered drinks, a Gin and Tonic for myself and a Long Island Iced Tea for Amelia. She came back within seconds with our order and I thanked her, handing her the money for them.

“So what do you hear, anything?” Amelia asked, and I shook my head; she didn’t want to know the thoughts I heard in that moment.

‘Someone, bite me, please…’

‘God, I hate men.’

‘He’s so dreamy. I hope he chooses me tonight.’

“Nothing worth repeating.”

We sat in silence, until Amelia decided she had to tell me about her latest boyfriend. I had to keep myself from snapping at her naïve ways. The man was clearly cheating on her, but then again, here she was, not acting much better. She specifically said she wanted to come here to find a female vampire to share the night with. What made her want that, I couldn’t read from her. It was like she locked it away from me, something rare that I hadn’t come across often, especially not from Amelia. Nonetheless, it was still cheating in my mind, but I let it go. I had enough issues; I’d let Amelia deal with her own personal life.

“Why don’t you-”

We were interrupted by the blonde vampire from outside, smiling down at us.

“Are you enjoying yourselves?” she asked, leaning her body towards Amelia.

“Ye…Yes,” Amelia stuttered, her face blushing.

The blond woman turned to me. “The master wishes to meet you.”

I quirked an eyebrow. “Master?”

“Of the bar,” she answered. “He wishes to speak to you, if you will.”

‘If you will’ What a load of nonsense. I was tending to believe this was another of those non-choice choices.

She waved her hand towards the other side of the bar, where a blond-haired man sat. His eyes were glittering blue and he looked… well he looked intimidating. Like something you would find on a romance novel cover. He was so big!

“Um…”

I was torn between going over there to keep the peace and going out of genuine interest, not to start something, but just to find out more. If that makes any sense at all…

‘Come to me my pet. Come and I will make your dreams come true…’

I blinked. That bastard. He was trying to will me to come to him. Like that was going to happen. I turned up to the woman and shook my head.

“I’m fine where I am, thanks though.”

I’d chosen against the inevitable, thinking ‘damn the consequences.’ Though I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t even a teeny bit curious to see what would happen as a result of my denial. He didn’t look like the kind of man who took no for an answer.

The vampiress only stared at me for a moment longer, before leaving the table and reporting back to her master.

And damn, if his eyes were any indicator, he was going to talk to me one way or another.

Suddenly, I had an uneasy feeling in my stomach, but there was also a bit of a buzz of adrenaline running through me. It’s how I always felt when I’d gotten myself into something a bit over my head. But what was the point of living without a bit of excitement?

As my drink full on somersaulted in my stomach, I could only hope any discussion would be over quick.

2010-04-16T12:16:00.003-05:00

Crossroads
Prologue:

I was sitting at my vanity in my Gran’s room, looking at my reflection. Here I was nineteen years old. My own brother was worthless, having left me and my Gran as soon as he graduated high school. Jason was different when our parents died. He somewhat blamed me for their death, saying that if I wouldn’t have been a spoiled brat, they wouldn’t have been swept off that bridge.

They died when I was a little girl, and the whole time he kept his distance from me. He was rude to our Gran, who took us in and raised us. I never told Jason about my telepathy, knowing he would never understand. If it had not been for her, Jason wouldn’t have had the truck he used to peel out of her drive that day and never came back. He left almost two years ago and had called Gran maybe five times in that whole span. In the back of my mind, I never wanted to see him again. He wasn’t a loving brother and he never treated me like he should.

Gran knew something was different and called a nice older man to come and see me. He had pointy ears, and I will never forget when she told me he was my family and that I could trust him. I asked questions all night and he answered them patiently. He explained he was my great-grandfather and I had cousins. I was floored by the news and that brought on more questions. He came by to visit me after that with Claudine, one of my cousin’s. I would see them about twice a month and they would always answer any questions I had.

Then the day came that I lay my sweet Gran to rest. I had found her two mornings earlier, still asleep in the bed behind me. I went to wake her up, seeing as how she never slept past nine but she didn’t stir; and her hand was cold. I knew what happened and made the calls I needed to. Sam, my boss at the local bar, came and helped me for two days to get all the funeral arrangements together. He was a great friend to me and my Gran liked him a lot.

I looked to the clock and saw it was a quarter till five. I got my belongings and got in my car. When I got to the cemetery, I noticed almost everyone was there. Gran was well known as a kind, gentle woman, and she had a lot of friends. I walked over to my seat and Sam came over and hugged me.

“How are you doing, Cher?”

“As well as I can. I miss her already.” My eyes started to tear up.

“I am here if you need me. I’ll sit behind you.” He said, softly lowering me to my seat before he walked away.

I noticed my brother standing to the side; he looked up and met my eyes.

‘ Always knew she would kill Gran too.’

My breath hitched in my throat and I forced back the bile that rose. Jason would forever think I had a hand in the deaths of all our loved ones. I almost felt sorry for him that he could be such a spiteful, hate-filled person. Almost…I was too sad for Gran that day to pay him any real attention. Tears started to well in my eyes as he walked over and sat next to me.

“Hey Sook, how you been?” he asked casually, like I didn’t hear his thoughts only moments before.

“Not ok, but it will get better,” I said and the service started.

The preacher gave a heartfelt talk about all the good qualities Gran had, and how she never stopped helping those around her. Tears welled in my eyes when all her friends went to the podium to speak. When it was my turn, I went to say a few words.

“I loved my Gran very much. She raised me and my brother and I couldn’t think of a smarter or kinder woman. She will forever live on in my life through the things she taught me. She was my best friend and I will miss her.”

I went to take my seat and the preacher motioned to Jason to take the stand. He ignored him showing that he didn’t want to say anything, and it only served to make the tears I was holding back fall down my cheeks. Jason could be so cold hearted.

When the session ended, I thanked all the people that turned up. My brother never bothered to say goodbye to me. Sam offered to stay while I said my last goodbyes, though he left when I didn’t answer.

I stood with my eyes closed for a while, wondering what I was going to do now. The will said she left me the house, but I had no idea where to begin without her. I was brought out of my thoughts when I felt a presence beside me.

“Hello great-grandfather,” I said with my eyes closed, knowing it was him. I could almost feel him smile when he knew I felt him there.

He placed a hand on my shoulder and I felt instantly calm beside him. “How are you doing child?”

“Better, now that you are here,” I answered honestly; his touch always calmed me.

“You know you have the same gift as I do. Have you been practicing it?” he asked, referring to my being able to control the emotions others project.

“A little with Claudine. Not much lately.”

His brow furrowed for a moment and then was replaced with a soft smile. “We will have to correct that then,” he said, taking my hand. “Come with me child, I want to take you somewhere special.”

“Where?” I blurted out.

“I want to take you to the Faery Realm. It will bring you much peace and will help you rest.”

I never knew he could take me there. I had gathered from what Claudine told me that only the fairies were allowed there. I nodded in agreement and within the blink of an eye, we were standing in a vast hall. It was intricately decorated, with art donning the walls – all masterpieces never before seen by human eyes. It was all so spectacular, to look up and seeing beams of different lights shifting back and forth, disappearing and reappearing moments later. He took my hand and led me to a small seating area in the back of the large room. With the wave of his hand he conjured up a serving platter with tea and sandwiches.

“Take this, child. Drink up and I will show you the rest of the grounds,” he said, handing me a cup of tea. He put two sugar cubes in it too.

“This place is amazing. Is this your home?” I asked in awe, looking around as I took a sip of the peppermint tea. The smell hit my senses and calmed me immediately.

He chuckled lightly. “No, I do not live here. This is the main castle grounds. As you know I am the prince, so I can take liberties here as I wish.”

“What are all these lights up above? They are beautiful,” I asked him as I looked up at the ceilings.

When I asked my question, I almost instantly regretted it. One of the lights came down and reformed into a form of a human. It was a fairy; I perceived as much from its ears, but I never knew of others becoming streams of light before. When he noticed I was giving him the look over, he straightened his stance before me, giving me a better view from my position.

“What is your name?” I inquired of him in a language I have never heard or spoken before. I also realized the firmness that was in my voice, almost as if I was commanding him to speak. It was like it wasn’t my own, but it was.

“My name is Warren, my lady,” he answered in the same tongue. I regarded him for a moment looking into his eyes, wondering why I was able to call for his attention. I noticed after a few minutes there were over twenty other forms of light reforming behind him, all looking to me. He looked back at me for a moment before casting his gaze down to the floor in a show of submission to me. All the others did the same in unison as I raised my gaze to meet theirs. Somehow this felt right, like I was expecting this, but it was so very confusing. I looked to Niall.

He was sitting there with an astonished look on his face.

“Niall…” I said, but before I could get out my entire question he interrupted me.

“You all may leave and get back to your duties,” he said in a firm dismissive tone, one I didn’t like. My face showed this as I looked defiantly at him.

“They have done nothing wrong. Why do you speak to them this way?” I, for the first time, questioned my great-grandfathers motives.

He looked at me incredulously for a moment then his face transformed to one of shock. He noticed that none of the fairies had left; in fact, half had come to stand to my side, acting as though they were ready to protect me.

“Niall, answer me. Why are you dismissing them?” I questioned him again with more steel in my voice.

He locked eyes with mine and mumbled under his breath, “I cannot believe it.”

“What do you mean by that?” I demanded from him; I was so confused and couldn’t figure out why I was so protective and defensive of these creatures. I had never met them before, yet in my soul I felt as though I was responsible for them.

“What is your name commander?” he asked me in another language I had never heard. His voice called me to attention like mine did to Warren only moments ago. I stood from my chair, looking into his eyes and I placed my hand over my heart. In succession all those others around me did the same kneeling to the ground. Their eyes closed; they were awaiting my answer.

“My name is Sarette,” I answered him, hearing my own voice, but not fully understanding what was going on.

“Child, I knew there was something special about you. But never did I realize this was the depth of it. Come sit and I will explain.” I took his outstretched hand and sat next to him on the love seat.

He gave me a heartfelt smile. “I never thought I would live to see a guardian leader in my time. There has only been one other and that was thousands of years ago. Sookie…” he paused. “Sarette, you must understand, these ones before you, along with the many others that are most likely on their way here now, they are yours to see fit to govern and command.”

“What?!?”

“You were born for this Sookie. You know the ancient dialect; it is in your blood. You have spoken it here to them with your commanding voice. You are their leader.”

I couldn’t believe what I just heard. I couldn’t wrap my mind around it. Part of me wanted to run and never look back, to say it was just a dream and pray that I would wake up in my bed and it would be over. But the larger part of me knew, deep down, that what he was saying was true. These ones here, I could feel their connection to me. It was very strong, and I could feel the power flowing through me as I recognized who I was by birthright.

“Grandfather…” I began, but noticed that the others were still watching me, listening to every word I was saying. “You all are dismissed. I will speak with you later,” I commanded them. They disappeared quickly but not before bowing deeply to me in unison.

“Niall, what all does this mean?”

“You are the leader of them. That essentially means you will direct them in their duties.”

“What are guardians? What are their duties?”

“They are an ancient race of Fae; the oldest and feared of all species in this and crossed over dimensions. They, from birthright, protect all of the Faery Realm. They are the strongest of all fighters, and even stronger than I am. Sookie, their duties include those I and others of rank need from them. They don’t answer to anyone. They are defiant and very rude. They do not live by our laws here; they make their own. I have been having problems with them, unable to control what they do.”

“If they don’t listen to you, what makes you think they will listen to me?”

“They will respect you. Did you not see how they spoke to you and bowed to you? They have never acknowledged my presence or spoken to me in such a way. They always stay in their light form. I have never seen them reform. But they did for you.”

“But what if I don’t want this? My life is already confusing enough as it is.”

“Child, I will help you hone your powers. I can already sense them coming forth since you realized who you really were. Claudine will help to train you to use and control them. Would you like for me to arrange for this to take place regularly? ”

“I guess I don’t have a choice do I?” I responded, looking up to the ceiling where the lights are now abundant. More had arrived.

“You have a destiny dear one. Embrace it, and we will help you along.”

I went to stand in the middle of the room, noticing hundreds of other fairies gathering around, never witnessing a human commanding a group of guardians. I saw many popping in and casting there gaze to me. I stood there, taking in the crowd, feeling a dormant power flow from inside me. Before I knew it, I had called all the guardians before me. They were all reformed in straight lines, their eyes on me.

In a voice that didn’t feel like mine, I spoke to them, “I am Sarette, your commander and leader. I will demand you all tell me your names and rank mentally when looked upon.”

They all lowered their eyes for a moment, bowing, and then standing straight at attention. I glanced over at Niall who now had Claudine sitting next to him. I realized they were the only family I had left. I was now turning a new page in my life. I was at a crossroad, and I decided to choose my own path for once in my life. Only the future would hold my true fate and I hoped one day I would find it.

2010-04-15T22:47:00.000-05:00

Hello Lovelies!

I wanted to give you all a shout out as to what is coming soon to my blog. If you have been following me since this time last year, you would remember the first story I had ever published on FanFiction.net. It was called, My Version, which I soon changed to Crossroads.

The entire story wasn't completed, leaving off in the end of the second part called choices. Well to tell the truth, I didn't like the way it read. Since it was my first work and all, I took it down last year to rework it.

After much deliberation, I decided it will be posted here, instead of on the main site where my all my other stories are stationed. I have been reworking them, and the Prologue will soon be published soon! If you followed the series, it was called Beginnings originally, but it will be labeled differently here.

Till next time~

sunz

2010-03-27T14:25:00.000-05:00

I've had many people ask me what I have been reading lately, so I thought I would blog it here! First off, know that I love supernatural books, and even better if they have a romance in them. That is mostly what catches my eye, but at times, I have been known to pick up a good mystery too!

(Diana Gabaldon's, Outlander Series)

I fell in love with Jamie the minute he showed up in the book. His relationship with Claire, and the way he presents himself had me begging for more. Who wouldn't when you have a highlander that oozes sex appeal and wears a kilt? Seriously, if you aren't reading this yet, get to it soon. Usually, I am able to put down a book and pick it up later, but with this, it had me staying up till the early hours of morning. I was and still am deprived of much needed sleep from this series. I would recommend this to anyone who loves a good romance! The Scot Jamie had me melting with how he approaches things and how he treats Claire! One of my favorite series so far!

(J.R. Ward - The Black Dagger Brotherhood)

This is the series I am now reading and loving so far, since I took a break from Jamie and Claire in the above book.

Every book leaves me salivating for more, and that says something. It takes a lot to get my attention on books that delve into different characters with each book. While the brothers make appearances here and there along the series, you never get the rest of their story after the book they are featured in. While I itch for a few of them to be continued, I still enjoy reading each one and seeing how the brothers fit in each others world.

My favorite so far is book 1, called Dark Lover. Wrath is the king of his brothers, set to lead them, but his past haunts him to where he doesn't believe he can live up to his expectations. Beth is the half vampire daughter of one of his brothers, that is killed in the beginning. Wrath was asked before his death to protect her, so he does so out of obligation at first. But soon he falls in love with her, and has to decide if being with Beth is the best for his position. Their love story is full of surprises and it warmed my heart to read. There were a few "aww's" when I read this book.

Lover Awakened *le sigh*

That is really all I can say about it. LOL! You have to read it to understand how much this man goes through to be with the woman that he finds love with. You will never read about a more romantic tale of Zsadist and Bella. This novel had me crying in sections like you wouldn't believe. Zsadist had emotional issues like you wouldn't believe, but they are not his fault. He is what you would call a loose cannon among all the brothers featured.

Z, has never been loved, never had the chance to feel what love could do to his soul. That is, until Bella comes into his life. The pull he feels towards her excites him as much as it scares him. I adored this book and added to my collection to read again.

(One Bite with a Stranger (book 6 in the other series) by Christine Warren)

I was given this recommendation by Linda, who most of you know as nycsnowbird on fanfiction.net, and I couldn't put it down.

This book is full of the sexy loving we all love to read, yet it also has that level of romance that makes your hear flutter. Reggie is just coming out of a relationship with her former boyfriend, and she isn't ready to date. But her friends decide to hook her up with this game they have between them called the Fantasy Fix. Where each woman writes down a fantasy and her friends have to find the man to fulfill it for the other. Well Reggie at first doesn't want to go along with it, so she writes down some of the most insane situations: alien abduction, the actual Elvis..etc. On her last paper she writes she wants to be seduced by a vampire. Little does she know there is some sort of vampire ball that happens in the town over, so of course her friends will use that to their advantage. She goes, and what she finds when she gets there isn't at all what she is expecting. A tall, dark and handsome man by the name of Dmitri *melts* There are other books in this series, and I am working on getting my copies to read them. I will keep you posted on my progress!

I also own this book now, since I read it over three times with my library copy.LOL! Figured it was being put to good use :P

If you have any recommendations for me to read, please let me know! Send me a shout out and tell me what your favs are.

Till next time...

sunz

xox

2010-03-18T09:15:00.000-05:00

Chapter 3
Revelations:

The salt air licked at her face, the ocean breeze whipping her sun-kissed hair into tangles. It was the life, for better or worse, that she was used to now. For over four months, Eric Northman, the captain of one of the fiercest pirate ships around was the man she lived to please. After his attempt to bring her to his side, and forget all sense of propriety in doing so, she welcomed him into her bed, which had been his bed, and in due course which became their bed. The very idea that she was here at all was like a dream. Since she had met him, never did she think she would see him again. Her father took her to sea, taking care to avoid the paths that would lead Sookie back into the hands of the Viking Pirate that stole her heart. He looked like a Viking to her, but she wasn't sure if he really was as they lived in was the 15th century and Vikings were the stuff of history.

She remembered overhearing her father one night, under the cover of the moon, speaking in soft tones to a few of his most trusted officers.

“Are you sure it was him, Captain?” his second asked him, taking a moment to compose himself after hearing the Northman name. “I had thought those blood pirates were all dead.”

“As I had thought at one time, Claude,” Niall said, pacing the deck of the ship. “But there are still a few yet. And now we have one of the worst following us.”

“All because of your daughter,” Claude sneered, and Niall reacted instantly, connecting his fist with his jaw. Claude fell back, holding his chin, his eyes widening in shock.

“You will not address my daughter that way,” Niall warned him.

“But it’s the truth!” Claude said, defying his lord and captain.

“As it is, there is nothing I can do about it,” Niall conceded, holding out a hand to help Claude up, which he accepted timidly. “Sookie doesn't know any better. I have kept the dealings of the Blood Pirates out of her head for a reason.”

“And what is that?” Bill asked, taking a step closer to the men. He was one of those in charge that had to prove himself before getting a heightened position. He himself used to be one of the so called Blood Pirates, but he never told Niall about it. Since the moment he saw Sookie, he followed her, taking orders from those he deemed beneath himself, in order to get closer to her. She was every man's wet dream, and he wanted her for himself. Sookie didn't want him, and it sent him into a frenzy when she would deny him. He wanted blood for the humiliation he had gone through to get closer to her, first becoming a cabin boy then working his way up doing menial labor aboard ship. Such treatment was teasing the beast in him, and the thought of Northman wanting her was getting under his skin.

“Because she seemed on good terms with him when they were on the beach,” Niall said shaking his head. “We have to stay on this path, we cannot let him get to her.”

“He can't get to her,” Bill protested, his emotions getting the better of him. “She won't go to him!”

“No, she won't,” Claude said, his tone resigned. “They were acting familiar on land when we found them. Northman was about to kiss her.”

“What?!” Bill shouted in outrage. ‘He can't have her, she is mine!’ he thought wildly, his mind frantically running through scenarios where he would kill him for daring to touch her. “We must keep him from her.”

“What's it to you, Bill?” Claude asked, his eyes narrowing in dark speculation at the young midshipman's outburst. He had a feeling that Bill had feelings for Sookie, but this was too much. He could practically see his desire for her, rolling off him in lustful waves.

“Sookie needs to be protected,” Bill stated flatly, not rising to the bait Claude tried to dangle in front of him.

“Calm down, both of you,” Niall warned, lost in his own thoughts as strong waves crashed against his vessel, momentarily bobbling it. “What is best for Sookie is up to me, and me alone. No one else has a say in what I deem is worthy for her.”

With that, they discontinued their conversation about Sookie, and moved on to more important things: how to avoid the Blood Pirates.

When she was sure they were done talking about her, she had gone back to her cabin and thought about what she’d heard. Now that Sookie knew what Eric was capable of, she understood their need to keep her protected, to not allow him to grab hold of her. Since he had had her, he made it very clear she was never going to leave his side. He practically branded her as his own, taking hold of her, and making her his in every way.

Eric had been gentle with her the first time they made love, but since then, it had been all about what new places he could come up with for their escapades, as if he wanted conquests and not intimacy, as if he were marking territory. His first mate, Pam, while intrigued with Sookie, had never gotten close to her. Sookie was upset; she wanted someone to talk to on the ship that was a woman, but Pam, she found out the hard way, wasn't very womanly. She was more like one of the guys, though she had soft curves and a woman’s scent.

The other women on board, the ones that were used and passed around, Eric had told her, no commanded her to stay away from. They stayed in the crew’s quarters below the main deck of the ship. She was outraged that he kept whores on his ship, but he just waved it off, saying every man needed a bed warmer. He called them spoils of war, but he wasn't in any war.

As much as she tried to hate him, to distance herself from him, her body traitorously wouldn't follow. One touch, one look from him, and she was putty in his hands. He knew it, and he used it against her. Eventually, after a month, she quit her protests and welcomed him fully into her heart. It wasn't without recompense, she made him promise to cherish it, to never have another as well. He took a while to consider it, longer than she liked, but he came around.

She looked out at the calm sea flatlining against the azure sky in the distance and sighed contentedly. Life at sea she loved. She loved it even more now that she was with a man that she felt passionately about. Eric had done all he could to make her life easy, to make her want to be there on his ship with him. She missed her father, but knew she couldn't see him again, especially since she’d overheard what his opinion was of Eric. She couldn't help falling in love with him, and knew her father would not approve.

It was almost mid-afternoon when she felt a pair of strong arms wrap around her from behind. “My lover,” the voice purred against her ear. She pushed back against him, his arms tightening around her, and tilted her head back for a kiss. He obliged her, one hand trailing up her tailormade gown, and roughly squeezing her breast. She hadn’t been with him when he woke this morning, and she knew he was in need of her body.

“How was your meeting?” she asked innocently, pushing her delicious curve of her bottom into his groin, creating a delicious friction for his cock. He growled into her ear, low and demanding. He needed her now.

“Nothing that can't wait,” he said, shifting her skirt, his hands coming up and cupping her sex. She gasped at the suddenness, turning in his arms and slapping his chest.

“Eric,” she hissed, “Not here. There are men about!” But he didn't listen. One hand grabbed her ass, hoisting her up on the railing, while the other undid his pants. In seconds, he was fully buried inside of her, her cries muffled into his shirt. “Eric! Eric!” she screamed out, as he moved inside of her with vigor.

“That's right lover, let everyone know who fucks you,” he huskily urged, while he continued thrusting. “Your mine, Sookie. Say it.”

“I am, I am yours,” she moaned, her lips capturing his in a heated kiss. With each downstroke, she mewled responsively, his own grunts following each rapturous plunge. Their mutual cries climbed to a hot frenzy till their orgasms both hit them, rushing over them ruthlessly as they screamed each others names.

“Oh, Eric, Eric,” she softly sighed, as he kissed her face, disengaging himself from her. Every time they had sex, it was earth shattering, even in moments like this when his need for her was too great to be loving.

“My Sookie,” he said, setting her back on her feet and fixing her skirts. She laid her head on his broad shoulders, trembling with her pleasure. After a few minutes he took her hand, and lead her up to the helm of the ship. Sookie wasn't anywhere near where the crew were, as most of them were on the main deck, working the sails.

When they approached the wheel, Pam was already standing there, hands on her hips and a smirk on her face.

“Sounds like you two had some fun,” she teased, earning a blush from Sookie. Pam laughed.

“Pamela,” Eric said, his tone one of warning. She stopped drawing attention from the shipmates, but was still chuckling. Her eyes danced with amusement.

“Aye, Aye, Captain,” she said, saluting him and going back to her business, but not before winking at Sookie.

Eric pulled Sookie up to his chest and looked out at his crew working. Sookie enjoyed days like this, on the open sea, Eric holding her tight as the ship sailed with the wind. But she still missed her father, wishing she could see him again.

“Where are we going, Eric?” she asked quietly, her hand resting behind his neck. He leaned down and kissed her neck leisurely, keeping a watchful eye on the sea.

“Somewhere for trade,” he said cryptically. She turned her head and narrowed her eyes.

“You mean you are looking for trouble.”

Eric snorted, nuzzling her neck. “I never look for trouble, Sookie. It finds me is all.”

She shook her head. At moments like this she wished Eric wasn't a pirate, wasn't a man that stole from others. She had heard stories about him from his men on board, about how merciless he was, how cutthroat. She didn't want to think about him in that context, but here it was, staring her in the face. Eric was a Blood Pirate, as her father had said, and he was one of the worst.

“Promise me, Eric.”

“What is that, dear one?” he asked, his lips tracing a soft path up the long column of her neck.

“Promise me that you won't get hurt, that you won't hurt others,” she pleaded, her eyes filling with moisture. His own eyes hardened and he straightened up, freeing her from his arms.

“Sookie, you know who I am,” he admonished her coldly. “This is what I do, and no one, not even you, can change that.”

Sookie's eyes leaked the moisture, tears running down her face. She shook her head, not wanting to believe that she could be on a ship, with a man intent to kill anyone else his ship and crew came across. Hell, she hated that he had other women on board that were being abused every night, but she couldn't do anything about it. Sookie even complained about it, but that only drew a wedge between them.

“Don't do this, Eric,” she said, wiping hot tears from her cheeks. She glared at him, standing her ground, gathering what little bit of composure she had left.

“I am doing nothing woman, you know your place,” he said, and she heard a few cheers from behind her, alerting her to the fact that his crew were watching them. She knew better than to defy him in front of them. This conversation wasn't over yet, and she gave him a hateful look, walking past him to go to his quarters. She started to walk towards his cabin, what she considered her own, but decided instead to go to the mess hall where she sat on a bench, listening to the chef in the kitchen cooking something up for dinner that evening.

It all came back to this: Sookie loved Eric, but she missed her father. She had to choose between them, and her decision was becoming more clear as she sailed with Eric and got to know the real him. In the beginning, he was loving, but now, he was transforming back into the Cutthroat Pirate she had feared before she knew him.

Sookie found herself wanting to go home to her father, but how? It was the only choice that made her feel right. She would miss Eric, but for now, in her life, he wasn't the right choice for her.

A/N:uh, oh! Sounds like she is getting idea's.lol. I wonder what Eric will think :P Big thanks to nyc for editing this for me and making it shine! Next chapter will be up soon, and we shall see what Eric thinks of all this.

2010-03-16T11:42:00.000-05:00

Fighting Against Fate
Chapter 5:

~Sookie~

Waking up to a knock at the door, I groaned and turned in bed. I was way past the point of getting up for the day; I wanted to stay in bed for a while longer.

My thoughts last night didn't die down until sleep took over, and that was barely three hours ago.

Pam came into my room and opened the curtains that lead to my balcony. She opened the sliding door, allowing the fresh scent of salty air to seep into the room. I love the scent and the cool air that accompanies sea air.

"Pam, can't I sleep a little longer? I am still tired," I grumbled when she came over to the bed shook me lightly. I pulled my face from my pillow and put on my best puppy dog look.

Pam chuckled. "No Sookie, you have to get up. I ordered breakfast for the both of you, so you can stay in for the morning. Amelia is waiting for you in the parlor."

I sat up in bed and gave Pam the best glare I could muster up. She just laughed at me freely, and handed me a robe from the end of the bed. I took it sullenly, adjusting the ties as I put it on.

When I walked into the parlor, Amelia was sitting, drinking a cup of tea with a big grin on her face. I took the place across from her while Pam poured me a cup of tea.

"Why are you so happy today?" I inquired of Amelia, placing eggs and a biscuit on my plate. I took some butter and lightly spread itacross the biscuit, taking a bit into my mouth and savoring the taste.

"I have arranged some time for us at the pool this afternoon. We will have it privately for at least four hours, so we may work on our tans," Amelia commented, digging into the grapefruit in front of her. We were probably the only girls in the world who loved to tan our skin. Naturally, it is looked upon that a woman shouldn't be out in the sun; that their skin should be creamy white. I have always loved the tan look, as has Amelia. I dare say that other women have admired us and have taken the chance to get some sun themselves. It was my one vice; I was allowed. Even Adele didn't mind. She always enjoyed the sun as well, so it wasn't totally against her rules.

I smiled brightly to Amelia. "How did you pull that off?"

"I had to pull a few strings, and pay a little more… but in the end we have it," she said, happily taking another bite into her mouth. "I didn't want to have to explain why we were running around in our undergarments. This way we can do as we wish with only Pam there with us." She turned to Pam and smiled.

"Come eat with us Pam; there is more than enough. I will expect you to tan with us; you need an overall coating I think."

Pam shook her head and took the seat between us, placing food on her plate and digging in. I was happy with Amelia and the way she treated Pam, much the same way I did Felicia. She was my friend as well as ladies maid.

"Yes Pam, you do look like you could use some sun," I giggled, touching her pale forearm.

"Yes, I believe I am due again. Really Amelia, I shouldn't have to tan. You know my skin doesn't like the sun much; I stay pale no matter how long you have me in the sun," she grumbled to Amelia, causing me to giggle more. She turned her gaze to mine and a devious grin took over her features.

"Do you wish for me to take the coat back to the gentleman that allowed you to borrow it? It will be no trouble; I assure you."

I tensed, not really wanting to answer her. I was hoping I could take it to him, and decline his invitation for dinner. That reminded me… I wanted to speak to Amelia about it.

"You know, he asked if he could escort me to dinner tonight. I think I should take it to him, so I can decline his invitation," I said, sighing and taking a drink of water.

"What do you mean you want to decline his invitation?" Amelia blurted.

"Because I am not single that is why. I don't think it is right for me to be in his company and act as though I am not engaged. It isn't right," I commented, placing the napkin on the table, showing that I was finished eating. There were two other maids in the room to clear the food away when we were done, and a fair, red-haired girl walked over and cleared my dishes.

"You are not engaged yet Sookie. You are arranged to be married. And besides, you are on a ship, where the rules don't apply like they would on land," Amelia commented, placing her fork down and sipping the last of her tea.

"That is the worst thing I have heard Amelia. You think I can fool around with a man on the ship, and it will be like it didn't happen just because it didn't happen on land? What is wrong with you?" I asked, annoyed by number one: the fact she would assume anything like that, and two: that shewould think I was like that in any way. I wanted to remain pure for the man that was waiting for me, and I couldn't do that if I entertained thoughts of Eric. He was too smooth and charming for me to be around and nothing happened. Already thinking of seeing him again sent chills down my spine and caused a warming sensation to form in my nether regions.

"Sookie, there is nothing wrong with getting to know him. I like his brother, so I think it would be a great chance to enjoy yourself on this ship for three weeks."

I held up my hands, "Wait a minute Amelia. When did you meet his brother?" I questioned her and Pam also turned to her expectantly.

"When John started to walk me to the room, I excused myself to find you. That was when Ian came over and introduced himself. I'm telling you Sookie, if your man is anything like Ian, I am all about encouraging it."

I looked at Amelia with my mouth hanging open. "I thought you were here to make sure I don't do those things, not to push me towards them"

Amelia chuckled and said, "I am here as your companion for the trip, and that is all. I am not here as a chaperone or escort. I always told you that you needed this, to talk and flirt with men. Otherwise you wouldn't know what to do with them. Now, you have the chance with Eric. Ian told me that he really likes you, and I think you should take the chance."

"You're not a good friend Amelia," I told her, irritated. She was supposed to be helping me along with the arranged marriage, not telling me to flirt with another man.

"No, I am your best friend. Don't worry about it either. I know for a fact you will enjoy his company. And if anything else, do it for me. I really liked Ian, and was hoping we could all eat together tonight," she replied, her face drooping into a small frown.

I let out a frustrated sigh, "I will do it for you Amelia, and only for you. But if I get too close to him, you need to pull me back. Agreed?"

Amelia's face brightened as she stood, and pulled me into a hug, "Agreed."

"Then it is settled. Go get dressed and don't wear your corset. Pam will give you the undergarments you need. I brought you an extra pair," Amelia said excitedly as she got up and walked into her room. Pam followed her out and I waited for Pam to come back with the garments my friend specified.

After I slipped on the loose undergarments, I pulled out the loosest clothing I could find that I had packed. The man I was marrying only bought me the tightest, figure-friendly clothing. I grabbed the blue dress I snuck in from my other clothing, the ones I had before he came into the picture. It was a comfy housedress that was a size too big, but still showed my figure well.

We left the suite, and Amelia was wearing the same type of clothing I had dressed in. We walked past many guests and greeted them all cordially. I always remembered my manners, even if Amelia was getting impatient with me pausing along the way. We got to the outdoor pool, which was on the back of the ship, on the mid level. I couldn't believe there was no one outside here. I did notice there were two crew members standing at the doors to allow us entrance.

"I am Amelia Brigant, and I have reserved this top swimming pool for the day," she verified with one of the men. They nodded in understanding and closed the doors behind us as we entered.

The pool was huge and had a diving board accompanying it. It also had what looked to be a slide of some sort. I got all excited from the thought of getting to slide. I hadn't been allowed to since my parents died, and grandmother decided I needed to become mature over night. I walked over to the lounge chairs set out for us, and took off my dress, as Amelia and Pam were busy doing the same thing.

Amelia handed me the oil we used at the house and smeared it all over the skin that was showing. The undergarments Amelia gave me to wear, along with the others they were wearing, had no leggings, so it covered just our chest to our backsides. My legs were exposed, and to others that was a big no no. I was happy she packed those, because otherwise, I wouldn't get a tan at all.
I lay back on the chair and closed my eyes, enjoying the sun. Pam and Amelia were enjoying the water, floating on a couple of water floats they requested for the day. I fell asleep with the warm feel on my skin and the sweet breeze in the air.

~Eric~
"Is that the best you can do?" I taunted Ian, as he swung his racket once more, trying to cut me off. I knocked the little ball back at the wall full force and he tripped on his step.
"
Damn, hell, shit," Ian cursed under his breath. Getting up, I handed him his racket. "Best six out of seven?" he asked, even though I won the last four.

"How about we let your pulse slow down, then come back another day. The court will still be here," I answered him walking out of the glass walls that enclosed us. I walked over to Bill, who was holding our towels and water.

"Thank you Bill," I said, accepting the towel from his hand. He nodded and handed some water to Ian.

"Can you believe that Bill? I still say Eric cheats," Ian commented, panting, trying to catch his breath.

"I have no comment," Bill responded coyly, turning to pick up the rackets.

"Hmmp…" Ian grumbled, walking out the door. I followed suite, along with Bill.

"Where you going Ian?" I asked him.

"We have an engagement today at the pool. We have been invited to share in the liberties of the pool," he said smiling, piquing my interest.

"What do you mean?"

"Two ladies have invited us to join their party by the pool. Well the one invited me, and said I could bring my brother. If you wish to join, you can," he said, walking and nodding to the many people walking past.

"I believe I will pass. You know I am not looking like that anymore."

"That is fine. I will tell Amelia and your Miss. Stackhouse you declined," Ian said, smirking, and I turned, quickly hurrying to his side.

"What do you mean? They are swimming?" I asked; I had never heard of a woman swimming out in public. What would they wear? My mind was wandering, thinking over the situation, flipping through seductive images of Sookie lying there wearing only…

"That is why I'm going…to find out, that is. Amelia is a very vexatious woman. I like her very much so far," he stated, and there was something very wrong with that comment. Who would want a woman that causes trouble?

"Then I will have to see how Sookie is behaving herself. I have to, seeing I will be her husband," I said, trying not to show my open gleefulness about the whole ordeal. Seeing Sookie with little on was a turn on, and it was one I wouldn't pass up.

We approached the doors where there were two crewmen waiting by; they stopped our approach.

"I am Ian Northman, and this is my brother Eric Northman. We have been requested here by Miss. Brigant," he said and one man looked to object, until the other opened the door. That name sounds familiar…

"Yes sir, she mentioned earlier that you might be coming by."

We walked in and I noticed that there were two bodies in the pool. And neither of them were Sookie. Ian made a b-line for the pool, shucking off his shirt and making a big splash in his entrance. Amelia giggled and they were busy chasing each other in the pool.

I noticed Bill had walked over to retrieve his shirt from the ground; he paused when he looked at the lounge chair facing the water. His eyes bugged out and his jaw dropped. I walked over to him and turned my head in his direction. There was my Sookie, lying on the chair, her breasts half exposed and her legs shining in the light. My own jaw dropped, taking in her beauty, and quickly remembered the butler that was staring at my woman.

I grabbed his shirt and pulled him close enough so only he could hear. I whispered in his ear, "That is my future wife, the one you have heard so much about. Try to control your reactions around her. And remember, what happens here stays between us. If you say a word, I will throw you overboard," I warned him, my voice hard and cold.

"I understand Mr. Northman," he said, bowing his head and walking towards the other maid there for the ladies. They sat and began chatting.

I walked over to where my angel was sleeping and took in her entire body. So beautiful.I wanted to suckle and lick every inch of her, but I had to restrain myself. I sat at that edge of the chair she was occupying and brushed back a strand of hair that was covering her forehead. She stirred slightly, but didn't wake. I was entranced by her slender legs, and noticed she had shaved them. I wondered if she did that regularly. I reached out and placed my hand on her knee and she shifted, opening her legs to me, urging me to continue my exploration. I couldn't help myself, my hand trailed down the inside of her thigh and she let out a moan. I got halfway down her leg when I felt something painful on my cheek.

~Sookie~

I was resting and dreaming of the man I swore not to pursue. We were lying in a bed together, not touching… just feeling. He was beside me, with his hand on my leg and I let out a moan at the feeling. I opened my legs to allow his hand to move lower, where I was aching for him, when I heard a groan. It pulled me from my restful state. I saw that it was no dream I was having; he was really there.

His hand was on my leg, trailing closer to my center. I did the only thing I could think of; I pulled my arm back and slapped him as hard as I could. His eyes, once fixated on my nether regions, snapped to mine. He was angry; I could tell from his fierce expression. For a moment, I was feeling remorse for hitting him, but that passed quickly when I remembered I was not his to have.

I belonged to the man I promised to marry.

"Excuse you. Who do you think you are touching me in that manner?" I shrieked at him, adding my own hateful glare. Amelia heard my voice and stopped talking to the other man in the pool. Pam and the other young butler were shocked, watching the argument between us.

"I am your…" he started to say, but shook his head for a moment. "Forgive me for touching you Sookie. You are too beautiful to be out here half-naked and without an escort," he said, changing his expression to one of amusement.
I was so irate; I jumped out of the chair and stood there before him with hardly anything on. His eyes glazed over and that irked me even more. When I thought about it, being touched like that, and without my permission...

"You can stay away from me Mr. Northman. I don't wish for your company if this is how you act. I have told you before; I am engaged to be married. I am not available for your…" I waved my hand in the air, "Whatever you call it. Leave. Me. Alone."

He stood, unbuttoned his shirt, and gave me an apologetic smile. "I am sorry for touching you, my lady. I will not do so again without your permission," Eric said, taking off his shirt and placing it around my shoulders. He buttoned three buttons over the revealing garments I had on and I pulled my arms through the sleeves reluctantly.

He smiled and seemed happy with his shirt on me. "I am sorry Sookie. Please call me Eric," he said sincerely and I melted, even though I tried hard not to. His eyes and the scent coming off his shirt were so sweet. He took my hand while I was lost in his eyes, placing a lingering kiss on my palm. I sighed, not being able to help myself, my knees going weak. Being in his presence was turning out to be a tempting thing. I couldn't think of anyone but him. Perhaps I will get to know him. What was the worst that could happen? Lots my mind supplied, but I brushed it off.

"Thank you Eric. For the shirt," I whispered to him, taking a step closer which put me just two mere inches from his embrace. I felt as though I needed to bein his arms, that it that would be the safest place for me. His scent was calling to me, and he reached out, tucking a loose strand of my hair behind my ear. His touch tingled when his hand cupped my cheek in his palm. I leaned into his touch, not understanding what I was doing. He leaned in slowly and I closed my eyes. I felt his lips brush my cheek, so softly and sensually. I immediately wanted more.

He trailed his lips back and forth, between my cheek and the edge of my lips.

My breath hitched, and I opened my eyes. Sometime during this exchange,my hands made their way to his hips, holding him in place. He brought his other hand up on the other side of my cheek, his thumb caressing my skin softly. He leaned in again, this time aiming for my lips. This was it, my first kiss. I had wanted to experience it for some time, and for the past days I had wanted it to be with Eric. Maybe it would be practice for my new husband to be. Or maybe you are not being ladylike and should stop, my mind once again tried to ruin my fun and warn me. But Amelia was right, I needed to learn these things, otherwise my husband would get bored with me and not want me. With his lips so close to mine, I closed my eyes in anticipation.

"Excuse me! Sookie what do you think you are doing?" Amelia yelled, running over to my side and pulling me away from Eric.

Eric looked at her with distaste and hate. He opened his mouth to speak to her but I beat him to it. "I am enjoying myself like you said I should," I reminded her and she glared at me. We turned to face one another and Eric seemed to be confused by our exchange.

"I said to have fun… not make out with him. You are a lady, remember that," Amelia reminded me and I placed my hands on my hips in obvious shock of her comment.

"Oh, and are you also? Or do ladies swim naked with men and touch them the way you were doing with that man in the pool?" I questioned her logic; it wasn't making any sense to me at all.

"I can…You can't," she answered plainly, crossing her arms.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"You are to be married; I am not. So you need to tone it down," she said and my face fell. There she was, reminding me again of the reasons I couldn't be with Eric. She looked remorseful about her last comment and attempted to hug me. I swatted her arm away, and sat on the chair. I hung my head, not letting the tears come out. She came over, taking a seat in the same chair and touched my face; I flinched, moving away from her.

~Eric~

One moment I was about to kiss her, finally getting the connection I had been needing the past three weeks of thinking of her, and then I was being told no. I almost wanted to throw that girl in the pool - out of my way. Sookie is mine; there is no doubting it. She wants me; she wants my touch, my kiss. And I got interrupted. God, I need some alone time with her. They are fighting over why she couldn't kiss me. Part of me was thinking you shouldn't because I wouldn't approve; as weird as that sounds. Then her face fell and tears sprung to her eyes when the girl reminded her that she was engaged, and she couldn't do what she wanted. I wanted to hold her and tell her right then who I was. I even looked to Ian, to get his approval and he shook his head no, already knowing what I wanted to do.

"I am sorry Sookie; please don't be upset with me. I didn't mean it that way," Amelia tried to comfort her by wrapping her arms around her, but Sookie just
shrugged her off.

"No, you're right Amelia; I shouldn't be doing this, but I can't help it," she whispered to Amelia, her voice straining to keep her emotions in check.

"Sookie, I am wrong; believe me. Please don't be upset. You are getting married, not today. I meant what I said; you deserve some fun, even if it's with Mr. Northman. I overreacted," she said to her, touching her arm; that time Sookie didn't pull back.

"No you are right. I won't do this anymore," she said, standing and unbuttoning my shirt. She handed it to me and pulled her dress over her head quickly. She looked up at me with sad eyes, tears flowing down her cheeks.

"I am sorry Eric. I cannot have the privilege of you escorting me to dinner. I appreciate it, but I cannot accept your offer," she said, sniffling her nose and wiping the tears away. She turned to Amelia and said, "I will be in the room if you need me."

She turned to leave, and my heart broke; I couldn't take the pain. I tried to follow her, but she held up her hand. "Please don't. It is easier this way."

And with that I let her walk away.

2010-03-16T11:29:00.000-05:00

Fighting Against Fate
Chapter 4:

~Eric~

"Come brother, let's go see what room you have arranged for us," Ian said as he slapped me on the back.

I shook my head and we proceeded through the doors that Sookie had just walked through. I was sure I would find out which room she was staying in and

I hoped it was close to mine.

We walked up to a counter and there was a young man behind the large courtesy booth. As we approached him, he was looking with lustful eyes down the hallway to his right. I was starting to get annoyed with the man and I cleared my throat to get his attention.

"What a sweet piece…" he was saying under his breath, ignoring my attempt to get his attention. I was glaring a hole into his head when my brother nudged my shoulder, cocking his head towards the direction this man was looking.

I turned my head and realized he was looking at Sookie. My nostrils flared with anger and without a second thought, I grabbed the man's jacket.

"Do you mind not staring at her and helping us?" I said between clenched teeth. I felt my brother place a hand on my shoulder, trying to calm me. I released his jacket and noticed his name was Andre. I would remember that name.

"Yes sir. I meant no disrespect. It is unusual for a young woman to be traveling alone, and there are two of them," he said, looking at his clipboard in a frantic attempt to give me the information I requested and move me along.

"Do you make a habit of telling others information about guests Andre? You know… you should keep that to yourself," I warned him, wanting nothing more than to slam his head on his desk.

He looked at me and met my eyes. "Only the beautiful ones," he replied, smirking. I was about to end the man's life when Ian finally spoke up.

"Just give us the information," he said coldly, yet his face was on the verge of laughing. Andre handed him a paper listing the activities we could participate in during the day along with our room number.

"This isn't over," I said to Andre before turning in the direction of our room. Ian was still holding back a laugh while we turned down the corridor to the stateroom suite I had reserved for the two of us.

When I was traveling, I did it in style - only the best at all cost. When I booked the room, I requested to have a butler to accompany it. I opened the door and there stood a dark haired man, whose complexion was pale white; it looked like he had never seen the light of day.

"Good afternoon Mr. Northman," he said, bowing to me then turning to my brother, "Mr. Northman," he repeated for Ian's benefit I was sure.

"You may call me Ian," he said, walking over and shaking his hand. My brother always hated being called what our father was; he wanted nothing more than to be the complete opposite of him – laid back and carefree – while I chose to be an image of him, all business with nothing slacking. Our tastes were defiantly different for sure.

"Bill Compton," the butler answered, taking the jacket I was offering him and Ian's likewise.

"You were real slick downstairs I would say bro. Way to stay undercover with the locals," Ian stated, pouring himself a drink and sitting on the couch. I pulled out a cigarette and, without asking,Bill came over and lit it for me.

"Thank you," I said, taking a draw, relishing the taste. I only bought a brand from Russia - the ones that have a hint of mint in them. I find they are more

agreeable, not only for me, but for the opposite sex.

"I don't know what you are talking about Ian. I was merely telling Andre that his behavior is uncanny." Especially toward her, I added in my head.

"You did, and you also wanted to cause him pain, though I would have liked to be included in that. I don't think it is wise that you act this way. You need to remember she doesn't know who you are, other than you just met her. I suggest you cool it for a while. We have three weeks on this damn ship and you need to pace yourself," he said, directing Bill to pour him another drink.

"I can't help it. I have never felt this before and it is unsettling," I confided in him, wishing he would understand.

"I know, I have never seen you this way. And you have only met her. If I were you, I wouldn't go near her again. If you form a relationship with her here, what are you going to do when the ship docks and the wedding is only one week away?"

I plopped down on the chair across from him, and closed my eyes. It was turning out to be a fuck fest. I wanted to get to know her so badly yet I knew I should keep my distance. At the moment, I believed I would marry her when we got to New England - no problem there. But I needed to build trust with her. Who was I kidding… not telling her who I am wasn't helping any. Maybe this whole situation was doomed to failure.

"Maybe you are right with that. Being around her will only make it harder to confess who I am to her. Maybe I should keep my distance." I started to sulk in my chair. It almost felt like I am whining about it. I'm a grown man for Christ sake!

"Stop sulking Eric; it doesn't become you. You can just chat with her, but don't let her get attached to you. That could be bad for both of you," Ian told me, walking into his room and shutting the door.

"I'm not sulking," I muttered to myself.

I put my head in my hands and let out a gust of air. Why can't this be easy? Damn Niall and his ways; I should have fought harder against his standards and told him I needed to tell her about who I am. Lying to her would get me nowhere that was for sure. One thing was clear: I couldn't stay away from her. Now that I talked to her and saw her, I was aching with need to see her again, to touch her.

"Sir, is there anything else you require." The butler interrupted my thoughts.

I snapped my head up and glared at him. "I require nothing until I ask it of you. I will be in my room. Not to be disturbed."

He nodded and made himself scarce.

I walked into my room and shut and locked the door behind me. All I could think about was her - how perfect she looked in the sunlight, the way her skin looked when she blushed, her eyes…the most beautiful I have ever encountered. Man I have it bad.

I laid on the bed, determined to sleep before going out anywhere. She was everything I had built up in my mind and more. I grabbed the pillow on the other side.

All I wanted was for her to be next to me then. Damn it all. I need her so bad; I can't go three weeks waiting and another when we get there. I have to tell her before the ship lands, but how to do it in a way to where she isn't offended by it… Maybe when I'm sure of her affection for me, I will tell her.

I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I knew, I heard an impatient knock at the door. I begrudgingly got off the bed and opened the door.

"Dinner time man. Damn you have been in there for the past four hours. Get changed so we can go," Ian snapped at me before closing the door behind him.

I didn't realize I had slept for that long. I went to the closet and picked out a new suit to wear to dinner. That's when it hit me; I could see Sookie again tonight. I pulled off my old clothes and replaced them with clean ones.

Walking out into the living area after I put my shoes on, I noticed Ian was looking rather impatient.

"Starving," he said as he opened the front door; I followed him out into the hallway.

We walked to the main dining area and I glanced around looking for Sookie, hoping she was getting there at the same time so I could escort her in.I didn't notice her, but I did notice my brother making a B-line for a couple standing my one of the large white pillars. When I approached, he turned and introduced me.

"This is my brother, Eric Northman. Eric, this is Samuel and Claudine Merlotte," he said and I nodded to them both.

"It is nice to meet you Mr. Northman. Your brother Ian has told us much about you," the young woman commented, tucking her hand in her husband's arm.

"I am pleased to meet you as well," I said in all kindness. Many think it is a strange thing that I prefer to be called by my formal name among friends. The only ones I allow use my first name are my family; never have I answered to someone calling my name. I guess I get that from my father.

"Shall we go to dinner?" Sam spoke up and led his wife to the dining hall. We were seated together at a table for four. This will not do. I will have to have them add another chair so Sookie will sit with me.I had every intention to walk over to her once I saw her through the windows overlooking the entrance. No woman of mine would be eating alone, or worse - with strangers.

"Mr. Northman, what is it you do?" the woman beside me asked and I looked at her with a sense of loathing. I had no desire to speak to this woman, as appealing as she might have been. My woman was due for dinner and I wouldn't miss the opportunity.

"I own many businesses around France and also two in Sweden," I answered, looking at her when I replied. I am, if anything, civil.

That was when I saw her. She was still wearing the green dress from earlier and was now accompanied by another young woman who was pretty in her own way, but not like Sookie. Sookie could have been a goddess from what I saw across the room. I was about to stand up and go to her, hoping that she and her friend would join our little party.

If we couldn't be moved to another table, I would be happy to join her and her friend alone. When I pushed my seat back, I saw two men walking over to her and I felt the blood in my veins starting to boil. I gripped my chair to steady myself. I wanted nothing more than to rip her from their sights and bring her to my side. By all rights she was mine, not theirs. She was marrying me, not them. I watched as she smiled at the young man in front of her and accepted his arm, looking a bit uncomfortable. Good, I thought.

They walked over, and after sitting he continued to speak to her; she started to blush. Oh the gods must hate me.Seeing her react to him in that way, I wanted to rip something apart and wreak havoc on the entire ship. There was no way I could go the entire trip and not tell her who I was. I wanted everyone there to know she was mine and would be mine. He touched her arm and I almost threw my chair back. The only thing that stopped me was her gaze when it locked with mine. She looked saddened and it made me wonder if I had done something to upset her. I had only seen her the one time that afternoon on the deck of the ship. Surely it was nothing I had done.

The young man stood and held out his hand for her; she accepted it.

"Eric what has gotten into you?" Ian leaned over and whispered into my ear. I turned my icy glare to him and he jerked his head in her direction,toward the dance floor.

"Oh…" was all he said, seeming to understand why I was upset. The woman at the table was talking to me the whole time, but I didn't hear a word of her incessant babbling. I stood when Sookie looked at me once more and made my way across the hall to where she was dancing. Her eyes looked fearful and I realized that my expression was one of anger, not kindness. I quickly changed it when I was next to her.

"May I cut in and dance with Miss. Stackhouse?" I asked politely, refraining from breaking his arm.

The man looked to her for a moment and she nodded, clearly letting him know that she didn't mind dancing with me. That was good to know.

I took her into my arms and started moving her in a slow graceful way. I pulled her closer to my chest with every move, resisting the urge to pull her all the way to me. I knew it was improper to do so, especially with all of the people around. She was close enough to where she rested her cheek slightly on my chest and I couldn't help but sigh into her hair. She seemed content by this; I could tell by the way she allowed a small smile to creep onto her face. I didn't pull back as I should have; I was getting too much enjoyment having her in my arms. But I needed to let her know what I thought of her little performance with that man - it was not acceptable.

"I thought you were not here with a man Miss. Stackhouse," I said roughly in her ear, trying to keep my anger to a minimum. I failed when I remembered the way she looked in his arms.

She leaned back from my chest, but not too far and asked: "What would make you think I am here with one?"

I raised an eyebrow at her. His touching and dancing with her, well that would make me think she was. "You look very comfortable talking to the men at your table. If you weren't with them, you would be sitting alone," I answered her truthfully, letting her see the error of her ways. I was her future husband and knowing that was how she acted when she was alone made me think twice.

"They asked to escort us in and have been nothing but gentlemen; I can assure you," she snapped at me. I clearly hit a nerve with her.

"If you needed an escort, I would have been happy to have dinner with you Miss Stackhouse," I said, pulling her luscious body closer to mine. I allowed my fingers to mold to her skin and her eyes fluttered from the contact.

"You didn't give me the chance Mr. Northman; you left rather abruptly when we met."

I noticed her face fell slightly when she spoke. I instantly chastised myself for leaving her that way; I didn't mean to hurt her with my actions.

"You will have to excuse me. My younger brother was waiting for me and was not very patient," I explained and could tell she understood.

"There is nothing to excuse. You are here with family; I wouldn't want to cloud their time with you," she replied and I felt my stomach clinch. If she only knew she was my family as well, or at least will is the only one I want to spend my time with for the next three weeks.

"I would much rather spend the time with you," I whispered in Sookie's ear while leaning closer to her.

"That is very sweet of you Mr. Northman," came from her perfect pink lips. I found myself wondering if I should be happy with that statement or concerned. If I was a man with a wife to be and she acted this way with strangers, who's to say she wouldn't act that way once we are married. Granted, I should tell her about me, but I wanted to study her a bit more before I decided anything drastic.

"You have only to ask Ms. Stackhouse. If you are not otherwise engaged, I would like to escort you to dinner tomorrow evening," I said as the dance concluded. I reluctantly started to walk her back to the table when I noticed the waiter had brought out her food. I stopped halfway when I caught sight of the men at the table. I didn't want to take her back and have her eat at their table. I wanted to spend more time with her tonight; maybe she isn't going straight to her room and I would be able to speak with her some more, I thought.

"Are you retiring for the evening after dinner or are you going to explore the ship?" I inquired of her.

"I believe I was going to look at the stars from the upper deck; I wanted to see the moonlight tonight. I have been told the beauty of it rising over the water line is incomparable." Her answer couldn't have been more perfect. She is a hopeless romantic that was for sure and I found myself thinking of all sorts of things she would enjoy. If she liked that type of thing…her enjoyment of the simple things in life, the ones I believed to be the finest at times, was endearing and would provide us with many fine dates in the future.

"Then I hope you enjoy your evening," I said as a smile played at my lips and I walked her the short distance to the table. I seated her in the chair and turned to leave, but she cleared her throat, causing me to instantly turn to give her my attention.

"Thank you for the dance Mr. Northman," my angel said with a smile; a blush flooded her cheeks.

I smiled back and nodded, continuing the path back to my table.

My brother had his lips curled into a smirk when I sat in my chair and started on my meal. At least he had enough sense to keep his mouth shut in front of the company. I don't like anyone to know my business.

After our plates were cleared, I looked around the room and didn't see Sookie. I was upset since I was hoping I could have escorted her to the upper levels to see the stars she wanted to admire. I excused myself from the table and Ian raised an eyebrow. I ignored him and said good evening to his new friends.

As I walked through the doors and rounded the corner, I saw Sookie standing there all alone and the man she was dancing with earlier walked briskly past me. It seems something rubbed him the wrong way. I stepped behind her and thought it better to let her know I was hererather than surprise her; I wouldn't

want to scare her off.

"Miss Stackhouse, you are alone?" I called out to her softly and I saw her shoulders tense slightly. I hoped it was because of her surprise and not distaste.

"Yes I am," she answered softly, looking out over the water to the moon rising over the horizon. Her hair was glowing from the moon's reflection over the water. I walked towards her, noticing when she didn't turn to meet my eyes. Perhaps she was nervous. I was beside her and couldn't help but stare at the beauty before me.

"It is a beautiful sight is it not?" she asked me, referring to the view before her, but I wasn't looking at the same thing.

"Yes, it is," I crooned to her. She must have realized I meant her because she blushed scarlet all over her soft skin.

"I love that color on you," I whispered, taking a step closer and resting my arm next to hers on the railing. I didn't move because I felt a shock crawl through my body from her touch. She was truly special, causing so many reactions in me. With our arms leaning against one another, I reached over with my free hand and softly grazed the skin on her arm, causing goose bumps to form along her smooth skin. She pulled back from my touch and I realized I was too forward with her. She was making me so comfortable with her already; I was thinking we were together like we should be.

"I am sorry for startling you; that wasn't my intent," I said, turning my back to the railing and leaning against it. I pulled out a silver pocket case and flipped it open, revealing cigarettes. I took one out, lit it, and sucked in the intoxicating flavor. Ah, just what I needed to calm my nerves.

"Just what is your intent Mr. Northman?" she asked me, walking back to my side, but with enough space between us.

"I am curious to get to know you," I said, taking another draw from my cigarette.

"I am not sure that is a good idea Mr. Northman," she told me while shivering slightly. It was staring to get colder out.

"Please call me Eric," I said, shrugging my jacket off and placing it over her shoulders carefully. I was rewarded by seeing her slip her arms through the sleeves and take in a deep breath. I smiled at her and her cheeks flooded pink again.

"Now tell me the reason I cannot associate with you. Is your reputation ruined?" I asked, holding back a chuckle.

"Eric, I am to be married in a month's time. Why would you want to waste your time with me knowing that nothing would become of it?"

Hearing her say that she was going to marry me made my heart stop. I was hoping she wasn't hiding from the fact she would be my wife; any woman would be thrilled. But with her, I wassecond guessing myself all the time. It also made me feel guilty knowing that I was keeping a secret from her, but it was for her own benefit I conceded.

"I see… does that mean we cannot be friends? I would like to get to know you seeing as we are on this ship for three weeks," I answered, giving her a weak smile. I hoped she would want to, even though from her standpoint she shouldn't.

"I don't think that is a good idea," she said under her breath and started to walk away.

Without thinking, I suddenly grabbed her arm and she froze. "Why are you walking away?"

"I don't think it is a good idea being out here alone with you."

I looked at her incredulously and snorted. "Well that is a pathetic answer. I saw you alone with that other man. My presence shouldn't be too hard to bear."

I saw heat rise to her cheeks and she instantly became irate. "Who do you think you are - following me around?"

"I was worried about your safety and you said you would be outside, so I came to find you," I said, returning her glare.

"Well you listen here buddy. That man walked me out here to be kind. He left because I wouldn't let him touch me and you can be damn sure you are going to get the same treatment. So you can stop following me around because nothing is going to happen between us. That I am for sure of," she all but screamed at me during her rant.

I saw two shipmates come over to survey the scene and I nodded to them and quickly turned my attention back to Sookie. "What do you mean he tried to touch you?" I whispered icily.

"He tried to, but I avoided it, then he left when he noticed my rejection."

I will kill him was all I could think. How dare he try to touch what is mine. If she weren't by me in that moment, I would have searched the ship for him to throw him overboard. She looked confused for a second and I realized it was because I didn't have any right to be so upset; she didn't know the truth.

The next thing I knew I felt her small hand tucking a strand of my shoulder-length hair behind my ear, allowing her hand to linger.

Immediately, my eyes bore into hers; there was so much softness and tenderness from her. I could not believe what a lucky man I would be. And before she could pull back, I touched her hand with mine and held it to my cheek, moving my head in her hand.

"I really should be going back to my room Eric."

I pulled back and gave her a smile. "Yes, I think perhaps that is best."

Otherwise I wasn't going to control myself. Her touch ignited something in me and I wanted more. But it would have to wait. I touched her arm again, only this time she didn't tense under it. I was happy she was getting comfortable.

"May I escort you Miss Stackhouse?"

"No, that won't be necessary. Oh and please call me Sookie," she responded, giving me a small smile.

"Have a good night then, Sookie. Sweet dreams," I whispered to her, flicking my cigarette overboard.

"Good night Eric."

She walked away, still wearing my jacket. I was looking forward to the next day; she couldn't ignore me if she wanted to. I needed my coat back and I would get it back sooner rather than later.

2010-03-16T11:22:00.000-05:00

Fighting Against Fate
Chapter 3:

~Sookie~

"Sookie, girl, I think you have it bad," Pam said as she came over and handed me a drink. I smirked at her comment and thanked her for the water. I had just finished telling her and Amelia about what had transpired on the upper deck.

"I don't have it bad Pam. It's just that I don't agree with how the whole marriage thing is supposed to be. And to top it all off, when I met this man I felt something I have never felt before," I said, weakly grasping the crystal glass in my hands.

"There is nothing wrong with feeling anything Sookie; you need to remember that." Amelia placed a finger under my chin and raised my eyes to hers. "It means you are alive and have emotions. After telling me all of that, I have no doubt that this man must have liked you."

"He was a gentleman that was for sure, but his manner of speaking to me was appalling. It was as though he was, you know, flirting with me," I told her while a blush crept up my cheeks again.

"Oh Sookie, that is normal for a man to do that," Amelia stated and Pam nodded in agreement.

"Well, I didn't. You know that I haven't been around men Amelia. The last one I was around was the one I danced with at my brother's wedding and that was over three years ago," I concluded, embarrassed that I had so little experience with this sort of situation. And there I thought I was a woman ready for anything that came my way.

"I know Sookie, which is why I think you should talk to him again," Amelia said before standing and walking over to the full-size mirror in hallway.

I balked, "What? You cannot be serious. I am to be married in less than a month. I cannot be flirting and receiving attentions from a man I cannot be with. It would be wrong," I said after taking a sip of water.

Pam walked over to Amelia and started to fix the hair that had come loose from her hairstyle.

"I know that, but you can talk to him and use the experience for when you do meet your husband to be. That way you will know how to speak with him when you first meet him," she countered, walking back into the room and picking up her small catch.

"I don't know…" I replied, not wanting to considerwhat she was suggesting. I could not believe I would ever be that brazen with a man, especially one I did not know.

"We can talk more about it over dinner. We have been in here for the past four hours and I am famished," Amelia said.

I got up, slipped on my shoes, and grabbed my small purse before opening the door.

"Pam, we will be back later. You may go to the servant quarters for your meal and come back when you are finished," Amelia told her with a smile.

"Oh yes miss. I shall enjoy myself," Pam said with a devilish smile and then she winked at me. "I hope you run into your new friend."

With that last comment, I decided to leave the room, before I started to turn into a tomato. But then again, I seemed to be blushing more those days anyways.

We walked down the long hallway from our room and made our way down the stairs to the dining hall. When we arrived, there were two men eyeing us at the bottom of the stairs.

I pulled Amelia toward me and whispered in her ear, "Amelia, what is it with men? Is there something tattooed on my dress that says, I am here without a man?"

Amelia giggled, "Sookie, I hate to tell you this, but you are very pretty. I have no doubt you will be getting a lot of attention on this trip."

I groaned because once we reached the bottom steps, the two men walked over and introduced themselves.

"Good evening ladies. My name is Alcide Herveaux," he said, taking off his hat and nodding his head to us. He had rich black hair cut short. He looked to be a very agreeable man, though not overly handsome.

"And I am John Quinn," the other man said, bowing his head slightly and smiling at Amelia. He was tall and handsome as well, and his eyes sparkled a beautiful pansy color that I have never seen before.

"It is nice to meet you. My name is Amelia Brigant, and this is my friend Sookie Stackhouse,"

Amelia introduced us in kind and I smiled at them both

"It's nice to meet you both," I said shyly and they both gave me a smile.

"Shall we?" Alcide asked holding out his arm to me, and hesitantly I walked closer to him.

"Thank you ."

"Please call me Alcide; there is no need for formal names when we are becoming friends," he responded and went again to take my arm; I allowed it after a brief look at Amelia.

He led me to a round table and held my chair out for me. I thanked him and took a seat as he scooted me closer to the table. John had done the same for Amelia and the evening seemed to be going well. They seemed to be very nice men, and truthfully I wouldn't have minded making a few friends on the before we could start to converse, a waiter made his presence known, stepping in between John and Alcide's chairs to address them.

"Hello my name is Trevor, and I will be your waiter this evening. Would you like me to bring over a bottle of the house wine as well as water for your party?"

It didn't escape my notice that the waiter was only talking to the men at the table. That bothered me more than it should –to know he thought I couldn't tell him myself what I wanted.

"Yes, that will be lovely," John responded and the waiter left to get our drinks.

"So ladies, where are you headed once we land in New England?" Alcide began with a warm smile on his face.

I was nervous to speak to them… not knowing how to act. I had always been upset that my grandmother wouldn't allow me to interact with men and now that I had the opportunity, I was flustered. I felt so on edge, not knowing what to do or say. So I plastered on a big smile and turned my head to Amelia to give her my 'answer the men, dammit' look. Amelia caught on quickly and took my hand under the table, giving it a gentle squeeze. I returned the gesture, though mine wasn't so gentle.

"We are due in New England that is all. My friend Sookie here is to be married next month," she answered; Alcide, in return, looked to me as his smile faded slightly.

"I should have known the prettiest girl here would be engaged," he said, leaning towards me and I looked away blushing. He chuckled at my response.

"So tell me about your gentleman. Who is he? What does he do?" Alcide asked while the waiter returned to pour the wine.

"The meal for the evening will arrive in a few minutes. In the meantime, do help yourselves to the caviar," Trevor, the waiter, said, placing two small plates with breadsticks alongside the dish.

I reached out and took a breadstick and started to nibble on it. I noticed that Amelia and John seemed to be getting along well, talking about something in low tones. I couldn't make it out so I turned my head around the room and caught the eye of the one person I swore to myself I would avoid on this trip. His eyes connected with mine instantly, like he knew I was looking at him.

He must have changed; he was wearing a black suit now, though he looked just as exquisite as the last time I saw him. I was still wearing the green dress from earlier, having not remembered it would be customary to change. Amelia and I were so busy talking, we had forgotten.

I noticed he was sitting with two other men and a lady. The lady seemed to be trying to make conversation with him, but his eyes were focused on me. It looked as though he was upset about something, but for the life of me, I couldn't understand why he would be mad at me. I wasn't the one that left the other on the upper deck without saying anything other than my name.

I quickly turned my head, trying to stay focused on my present company. His face brought too many emotions to the forefront of my mind and I needed to keep them under check. I noticed Alcide was looking at me in a curious way like he was expecting something. Oh, I forgot he asked me about who I was marrying.

"I do not know his name or anything about him. The marriage was arranged by my grandmother not long after my parent's death," I told him and he reached his hand over and touched my forearm.

"I am sorry for your lost," he said softly and I felt tears starting to well up. I didn't like talking about them and he seemed to realize.

"Would you like to dance?" he asked me and my mood lightened instantly. There was soft waltzing music playing and a small dance floor in front of all the tables.

I love to dance when I was allowed to. In a small part of my mind, I was happy Adele wasn't here.I can have some fun on this trip.

"I would love to," I responded and he stood from his chair.

He held out his hand and I took it in mine as he led me to where there were a few others already dancing. He placed a hand on my waist and used the other to hold my hand firmly. Within no time, we were twirling around the floor and I was smiling. All thoughts of my parents were removed quickly.

"You are a lovely dancer. Whoever this man is you are marrying will be very lucky," he whispered into my ear and I shivered from the sensation.

I allowed my eyes to look up at that moment and noticed Amelia and Quinn were dancing as well; that pleased me. Cursing my eyes as they sought him out, I looked for Eric and wished I hadn't the moment I did. He looked irate as if he were burning with anger. It was amazing the way I could sense his emotions just from his eyes.

The moment our eyes locked, he got up from his seat and started toward me. I gulped, not knowing what to expect. Was he going to yell at me for earlier? What did I do to make him this angry since it looks like it's me he is angry at?

When he reached us, he relaxed his features instantly; he must have noticed the look of fear in my eyes. He stood by us causing Alcide to stop mid turn.

"May I cut in and dance with Miss Stackhouse?" he asked politely and Alcide turned his head to me to determine what I thought.Well at least someone was.

After a moment, I nodded;there were other eyes watching us and I didn't want to make a scene by refusing.

Mr. Northman took me into his arms and started dancing with me. I noticed his moves were more graceful than Alcide's were and I found myself resisting the urge to lean closer and place my head on his chest. His scent was incredible; he was a man that smoked tobacco, but the brand he indulged in eluded me. The scent was one I couldn't place, but it was heavenly.I never thought that would ever happen since I hate the smell of it.

"I thought you were not here with a man Miss Stackhouse,"he said roughly in my ear. I pulled back slightly so I could see his face.

"What would make you think I am here with one?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"You look very comfortable talking to the men at your table. If you weren't with them, you would be sitting alone," he answered, twirling me quickly in the air and setting me down, continuing with the steps.

"They asked to escort us in and have been nothing but gentleman, I can assure you," I snapped back and he smiled warmly.

"If you needed an escort, I would have been happy to have dinner with you Miss Stackhouse," he said sensuously, pulling me slightly closer; his long fingers digging into my back.

"You didn't give me a chance Mr. Northman; you left rather abruptly when we met."

"You will have to excuse me. My younger brother was waiting for me and was not very patient," he explained and I understood.

"There is nothing to excuse. You are here with family; I wouldn't want to cloud their time with you," I replied, trying my best not to be too familiar with him. There was something about him that kept me drawn to him, but I could not give into it.

"I would much rather spend the time with you," he whispered in my ear while leaning closer to me.

"That is very sweet of you Mr. Northman," came from my lips. My lips betrayed my mind that was telling me 'no, don't do this'.

"You have only to ask Ms. Stackhouse. If you are not otherwise engaged, I would like to escort you to dinner tomorrow evening," he said as the dance concluded. He started to walk me back to the table, but stopped and turned to me.

"Are you retiring for the evening after dinner or are you going to explore the ship?" he asked suddenly. I didn't know how to answer so I replied honestly.

"I believe I was going to look at the stars from the upper deck; I wanted to see the moonlight tonight. I have been told the beauty of it rising over the water line is incomparable."

"Then I hope you enjoy your evening," he said as a smile played at his lips and he walked me the short distance to the table. He seated me in my chair and turned to leave, but I cleared my throat, causing him to turn his attention to me.

"Thank you for the dance Mr. Northman," I said with a smile and a blush flooding my cheeks.

He smiled back and nodded, continuing the path back to his table.

"Sookie, you have been busy since coming on this ship," Amelia giggled and I blushed more.

Alcide and John looked at each other for a moment before shrugging off whatever was wrong.

The waiter brought our meals over and we all ate in relative peace, except for Alcide who continued to ask me more about the man I was to marry.

I had just finished my meal and was desiring some much needed alone time when Alcide spoke up again.

"May I escort you to your room Miss. Stackhouse?" Alcide asked me, holding my chair as I rose from the seat.

Amelia and John had already left to walk to the room, or I at least hoped they did. Alcide held his arm to me and I hesitated.

"I am not going to my room just yet. I wanted to enjoy the stars for a while, but thank you anyways," I said sweetly and was surprised when he grabbed my arm.

"I will join you; we can't have a young woman as beautiful as yourself walking out alone. I will not hear of it," he said, holding my forearm and leading me towards the doors.

I dared to look to Mr. Northman's table and was happy that he didn't notice Alcide taking me outside. I didn't know what it is with him, but he seemed to feel I shouldn't be around other men. If he only knew, I wasn't supposed to be around him either.

"It is a clear night," Alcide said quietly, walking me to the railing on the south side of the ship.

The south part of the ship was restricted to those only on the upper class deck of the ship, so I knew I wouldn't be in any danger. But Alcide seemed to want to accompany me, and I thought it was very sweet of him.

"It is. I enjoy watching the stars;I am hoping to see a shooting one," I said, raising my eyes to the sky and enjoying the cool salty air of the breeze.

"Are you too cold?" he asked me, preparing to take off his jacket if I asked him to.

"No, I am fine thank you. I enjoy the chill on my skin. I am not one who enjoys the heat of the summer. I have always liked the wintertime; it's my favorite season." I started to ramble and noticed that he leaned in to touch my cheek.

I swayed from his reach, causing him to look abashed for a second before dropping his hand.

"Excuse me," he said, walking away from me, leaving me alone on by the railing.

Well, I didn't think that would have upset him that much. But I knew I couldn't let him touch me; I had already made that mistake, and I was still regretting it. All of a sudden I remembered what I agreed to when I was dancing with Mr. Northman; I told him he could escort me to dinner. Oh, no! What have I done? He was the one person I should avoid and yet he seemed to be everywhere I was. I could not do that to myself; I promised Adele I would marry and I intended to stay faithful. Eric's presence seemed to leave me wanting more, and that was not something I should have been encouraging.

"Miss Stackhouse, you are alone?" I heard a voice call from behind me. Please don't let it be his voice…

I didn't turn toward his call; I was determined to be what I should be - a lady about to be married. I was not single to where I could keep his company. As much as I wanted it, I could not risk it.

"Yes I am," I answered softly, looking out over the water to the moon rising over the horizon.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Mr. Northman standing next to me, looking at my face, studying it.

"It is a beautiful sight is it not?" I asked him,referring to the sight before me. It was true what I had been told; the moon over the ocean was one of the best things I had seen.

"Yes, it is," he purred to me, and I noticed he wasn't looking at the moon; he was still looking at me.

I blushed scarlet and I swore it touched my toes.

"I love that color on you," he whispered, taking a step closer and resting his arm next to mine on the railing. I didn't move because I felt a shock crawl through my body from his touch.

At his words, I closed my eyes and I swear I must have looked like a tomato. With our arms leaning against one another, he reached over with his free hand and softly grazed the skin on my arm, causing goose bumps to form and a lump to catch in my throat.

I pulled away from his touch abruptly and his face dropped. I could have sworn I saw his hurt from my actions until he rearranged his features.

"I am sorry for startling you; that wasn't my intent," he said, turning his back to the railing and leaning against it. He pulled out a silver pocket case and flipped it open, revealing cigarettes.

He took one out, lit it, and sucked in the intoxicating flavor. Ahh, I had been wondering what that scent was earlier.

"Just what is your intent Mr. Northman?" I asked him, walking back to his side, but with enough space between us.

"I am curious to get to know you," he said, taking another draw from his cigarette.

"I am not sure that is a good idea Mr. Northman," I told him while shivering slightly. It was staring to get colder out.

"Please call me Eric," he said, shrugging his jacket off and placing it over my shoulders carefully.

He returned to his spot and I slipped my arms into his coat's sleeves. I took a deep breath and sighed; his scent was even better on his clothes. He noticed and lifted his eyebrow. I, of course, started to blush all over again.

"Now tell me the reason I cannot associate with you. Is your reputation ruined?" he asked and I didn't bother looking at his face.

"Eric, I am to be married in a month's time. Why would you want to waste your time with me, knowing that nothing would become of it?"

My answer shocked him and for a moment he looked guilty.But why?

"I see… does that mean we cannot be friends? I would like to get to know you seeing as we are on this ship for three weeks," he answered, giving me a weak smile.

"I don't think that is a good idea," I said under my breath as I walked away.

He suddenly grabbed my arm and I froze.

"Why are you walking away?" he asked and I felt embarrassed. Not only did I not know how to talk to men, I definitely didn't know how to act around them. I should go through a crash course with Amelia before I go out in the morning just in case.

"I don't think it is a good idea being out here alone with you."

He looked at me incredulously and snorted. "Well that is a pathetic answer. I saw you alone with that other man; my presence shouldn't be too hard to bear."

I felt heat rise to my cheeks and I became irate. "Who do you think you are - following me around?"

"I was worried about your safety and you said you would be outside, so I came to find you," he said,returning my glare.

I noticed there were two shipmates walking over to hear why I was causing a disturbance and Eric nodded to them to indicate that I was fine. They stayed where they were looking for something to do, so as to make for sure that everything was ok.

Eric came closer to me. "What do you mean he tried to touch you?" he whispered icily, his eyes burning with hate.

I was praying that I would never be on the receiving end of the look.

"He tried to, but I avoided it, then he left when he noticed my rejection," I told him, not really sure why he was getting so angry about it. Maybe Alcide was in the wrong more than I thought by trying to touch me.

His eyes were wild and I didn't like the look they were giving off. Neither did the other men across from us, as they made a quick retreat away to what I can only guess the other half of the ship. Maybe they thought his look was for them.

Now that I was looking at him head on, I noticed Eric's hair wasn't in the ponytail he had it in earlier. His eyes were averted elsewhere and with some strange impulse I had, I reached out and tucked a strand of his shoulder length hair behind his ear, allowing my hand to linger.

Immediately, his eyes bore into mine, now with a soft and tender look, one that almost made me cry. Why does he give me these reactions?

With a quick motion, he touched my hand with his and held it to his cheek, moving his head in my hand. His touch and tenderness with me was something I was wishing my own husband would have.

"I really should be going back to my room Eric," I said when I noticed his face moving closer to mine.

He pulled back and gave me a smile. "Yes, I think perhaps that is best."

I started to walk away and I felt him grab my arm again, but this time his grip was softer. What was it with this man and his thinking he could touch me when he wanted?

"May I escort you Miss Stackhouse?"

"No, that won't be necessary. Oh and please call me Sookie," I responded, giving him a small smile.

"Have a good night then, Sookie. Sweet dreams," he said huskily, flicking his cigarette overboard.

"Good night Eric."

We went our separate ways and when I opened the door to my suite, I was bombarded by four hands grabbing me and leading me to the couch.

"Ok, girl. Spill," Amelia said; she was already dressed in her night clothing.

"I don't know what you are talking about."

Pam touched the coat I was still wearing. Oh, no! I forgot to give it back to him.

"Whose coat is this?" Pam asked wickedly.

"Oh…Um…" I stuttered, not really sure of what to say.

"Is it Alcide's?" Amelia prompted me, and I shook my head.

"Then whose? I must know," she said impatiently and I gave in.

"Eric's," I said sheepishly.

Pam and Amelia burst out laughing and I stood up in anger looking to them for an explanation.

"You are doing a good job staying away from him Sookie," Pam said between giggles.

I groaned and went into my room, closing the door tight behind me. I couldn't deal with the two of them at the moment. I pulled out a gown for bed and stripped of my clothing,reluctantly calling Pam in to help with the corset.

"I was only playing with you Sookie; I hope you know that," she said once she had the laces undone and was holding the gown to help me put it on.

"I know Pam. I am just unsettled every time I speak to him."

She slipped the gown over my head and I pulled the pins out of my hair.

"Well, I would enjoy myself if I were you Sookie. I know you are to be married, but don't rob yourself of meeting people and getting to know them. From what I hear, from the other servants, he is a nice gentleman," she stated, taking the brush from the vanity and beginning on my hair.

"I like him Pam. And it's wrong," I confided in her and she stopped brushing.

"It is normal to feel for someone, Sookie. It is never wrong. Get to know him, then decide what you want to do," she said cautiously.

"I am getting married Pam. There is nothing to decide; the decision has been made," I said, sighing and walking to my bed.

"Just think about it Sookie. I think you would be happier if you give it a chance," she answered before walking out of the room and closing the door behind her.

I lay there in bed thinking about what she said. I would like nothing more than to get to know him. But it wouldn't be fair to him or to my heart. I already feel for him and leading myself on wasn't going to help any. No. I would not give in; I would remain true to my word to my grandmother.

I would look for Eric the next day and give him my apologies for not being able to attend dinner with him. He would have to understand.

2010-03-16T11:08:00.000-05:00

Fighting Against Fate

Chapter 2:

~Eric~

I was opposed to this from the beginning.

The moment my parents reminded me of the woman I would marry in one-month’s time I rebelled against it. I live comfortably where I am as a bachelor. My nights I can choose what woman I want, and that is my preference - not to be tied down to a woman that I have not met or talked to. For all I knew, she was a gargoyle, someone I wouldn’t be able to look at much less enjoy. That may be a little harsh, but I had an image to live up to.

I didn’t bend for anyone; there was a reason everyone that knew of me said ‘Eric Northman is a witty businessman.’ If and when I took a wife, she would have to meet standards of mine - ones I had yet to see in any of the women I had taken to bed.

She must be beautiful, charming, have a sense of humor, and understanding mine would be nice. Most of the ladies I had met had no personality; they were mainly there for a good time, which was all right by me for most exchanges.

Every so often, I would meet a girl that seemed interesting, though, more often than not, they turned out to be complete morons when they opened their mouths.

I was frustrated by the whole dating scene and had given up on it years earlier. It was remarkable considering the fact I was only twenty-eight; most men started looking for their wives when they were this age, but I was not interested. I wouldn’t make a good husband anyway. Women were there for my pleasure; that was all.

“Mr. Northman, there is a Mr. Brigant to see you sir. He says he has business with you today,” my butler, Gerald called out to me from the doorway.

I was in my study, contemplating dragging the whole marriage thing out, not wanting to go through with it. In fact, I was writing a letter to my parents declining the invite to the wedding when Mr. Brigant arrived.

“Send him in then,” I told him and moved the papers I was writing over.

He walked in and I stood to greet him. He extended his hand; I took it and shook firmly.

“Please take a seat Mr.Brigant,” I said, pointing to the seats open in front of my desk. I sat back in mine and proceeded, “What may I help you with today sir?”

“You don’t know me son, but I know your parents,” he began and I straightened in my chair; he had my full attention now. Who is this man to come here and address me this way?

“I see…and you are here for what reason then?” I asked cautiously, not sure I wanted to find out.

“I have heard you are to be married, and you do not agree to the terms,” he replied and I stifled a groan. Not this shit again. I had been hearing it nonstop from my father; I didn’t need another person irritating me with this.

“I don’t see how it’s any of your business whom I am marrying sir,” I said as kindly as I could, not forgetting that he knew my father; if he liked him for some reason, then he can’t be too bad.

“I am the one who set you two up; she lives next door to me,” he answered with a sly grin on his face.

“So you’re the person I can speak to get this total situation erased. I do not care to take a wife at this time and would appreciate you canceling the debt with the family. I will pay whatever they need,” I said, waving my hand dismissively before reaching for my checkbook.

Instead of telling me an amount he reached into his front coat pocket and stood. He placed a small picture card in front of me and gave me a smirk.

“If you object to her, then you are a fool. Believe me, she is worth it,” he said before picking up his hat from the seat next to him and turning to leave.

With reluctance, I looked down at the picture thinking I would see a creature not even the dullest of men would take. But what I saw instead astonished me and my breath caught in my throat.

She was exquisite, slender, her smile charming… So, so… beautiful. The lady was very desirable to look at and on top of her appearance she seemed to carry herself so well in her picture. She was wearing a simple dress that didn’t bring out her features, but that would change soon.

I set the picture down, and lifted my head to see Mr.Brigant standing in the doorway. I couldn’t believe from just a photo I was intrigued enough to meet her. I could swear that this woman would be the death of me if this could be accomplished from her eyes looking at me through this small card.

“This is her?” I asked, holding it up and standing from my chair.

“Yes it is. This was taken last year, she has grown quite a considerable amount since then, but in the best way,” he said, winking at me, walking back into the room.

I rang the bell for the butler and informed him that I would like to be served my afternoon lunch outside for the day and that Mr.Brigant would be joining me. When I made the plans for him to stay, his eyebrow rose.

“I simply thought you would like to stay, seeing that you know my father. He would be upset if he knew I didn’t ask you to join me,” I said as a smile played at my lips; no one, especially a man, liked having decisions made for them.

“Ahh…” he said as he patted me on the back and followed me out the double doors.

We walked out to the back porch area to a table in the shade. I had a cover built to keep the sun away while I enjoyed my meal. We took our seats and the maids came out with lunch and fresh

lemonade to drink.

“So tell me about her Mr.Brigant,” I started to say once the help cleared away and only Gerald was left outside with us.

“Call me Niall young man. I believe you should see for yourself. That would be for the best,” he said, taking a bite of the stew I ordered to have made for the day.

“Can you tell me anything about her - her likes, dislikes? I want to know if I would like her,” I asked him, hoping he would tell me more than my own parents told me.

“She is a lively girl, very sweet, and is defiant in her own right. Very feisty… so I think you two would get along great from what I hear about your own personality,” he said smiling before digging into his meal.

I had to think about that. Yes, I did want a woman that shared the same zest for life that I did. I love to travel and try new things - repetition bores me. I didn’t know about the defiant part; I would like her to do as I say.

“She is defiant you say? Could she be broken?” I said, taking a drink of the cold lemonade.

Niall looked up at me and dropped his spoon abruptly.

“If you want to get rid of her, you can try. But be warned, this girl is not one to sit back and watch. If you try to take away her will, she will leave, no doubt about it,” he said, picking up his spoon and continuing with his meal.

“So she likes to do as she wants, anytime?” I questioned, wondering if the girl was too wild for me. Well that couldn’t be… seeing I am wild myself, but I wanted a wife, when I decided I wanted one that is; to be gentle and kind, yet not take any of my shit. Not one that was loud and rude, always telling me what to do.

“No, she has been kept under her grandmother’s roof since the pairing of you two was decided. She is only out when going to a social outing and has never been allowed the company of men,” he reassured me and I visibly relaxed in my chair.

“So she is untouched,” I said to mostly to myself. Her picture showed her so pure, and so willing. I think I would have fun with her once she and I got better acquainted.

“She is, but you should know - she doesn’t know how to act around men, she has been told, but never shown. My daughter has helped answer her questions of the opposite sex, but there is only so much you can tell without showing,” he explained to me and I couldn’t help the wicked thoughts that came to my mind.

A beautiful woman and her friend talking about men, and how to…I let out a laugh and Niall seemed confused by my outburst.

“I would like to meet her first that is my only requirement. I wish to see if I would like her, and then decide if I want to make her my wife,” I said, making him an offer. Either that or I would take the option off the table and not bother going to New England to be married.

Niall sighed. “You both have the same ideas.”

“What do you mean, we both? She wants to meet me and you won’t allow it?” I asked him, getting irritated that they couldn’t have us meet and be done with it.

Fuck tradition where I have to wait till the wedding day to meet her. Just because my father and mother did that, didn’t mean I wanted any part of it myself. Niall seemed to be in deep thought for a few moments and then his eyes lit up and locked with mine.

“What about you can meet her, but you cannot tell her you are the one she is to marry?” he asked, looking to me expectantly.

“That wouldn’t work; you said she isn’t meeting men at all. So me showing up and meeting her out of the blue… she would know.” I sighed and ran my hand through my hair. “Does it have to be a secret? I could just introduce myself; I think it would be proper for us to at least know each other’s names.”

He thought on that for a minute and concluded, “No, you cannot tell her who you are; otherwise the contract would be null. Your father is all about tradition, so you cannot tell her.” He took a drink from his glass and set it down. “She is leaving in two weeks on the Intrepid to go to New England; I believe you are leaving on the ship also?”

“I am.”

Niall smiled, “Then you will meet her on the ship. Get to know her and see what a wonderful jewel she is. But don’t tell her who you are; she can know your name, but not that you are the one she is going across the ocean to marry.”

I thought about his plan and it sounded secure. “And if I don’t want to go through with this…” I said.

“Then it will be taken care of, but I doubt you will feel that way. She is truly one of a kind my boy,” he replied, shaking his head.

“And I will know her by the photo? What is her name?” I asked him, hoping her would say it.

“I think that would be incentive enough to speak to her - to find out her name,” Niall said and I felt my blood boil.

“So I have to talk to her?” I asked, my voice raising. This idea kept getting worse. It would only work if she was clueless about the whole thing. I was starting to change my mind, and yet her picture made me want to meet her.

“What will she wear then? I must know so I can spot her; there will be over six thousand other people on the ship as well. I cannot spend all my time looking for her.”

He chuckled and shook his head. “Why don’t you take care of that scenario? Send her something she could wear on the ship and you will be able to spot her easily,” he answered, standing and placing his hat on his head. “It was a pleasure to meet you Mr. Northman; I will let you know what she chooses to wear for the boarding,” he said, extending a hand to mine. I took it and nodded my head.

He walked to the door and paused. “Her favorite color is green by the way,” he said, smiling and walking out the door with Gerald seeing him out.

I think I will give this a shot; what do I have to lose in the end? If I don’t care for her I will simply not marry her, and if I do…well, not even I can say what I will do. I am not the type to marry; but I now want to meet her all the more.

My brother was coming with me, and he was a great judge of character. I would hope that she was just as lovely in person as her picture, which had captivated me, but I would have to wait the two weeks to find out.

I walked back into my study and for the next few hours was buried under paperwork that needed signing and listening to laborers that had asked for an audience with me. When I signed the last page and was fixing to call it a day, my twin brother walked in.

“Hey Bro! I thought you might be in here working,” Ian said, sinking down into the couch in the corner of my office. We may be twins, but we are not identical. He looks like my brother, but he isn’t as muscular as I am, not by far. He is more outgoing that is for sure and sociable. I wouldn’t mind being left alone for an extended period of time, but he couldn’t stand to be alone.

“Yes I just finished up. What are you doing here? I thought you were going to Sweden to visit father’s estate there?” He was the caretaker of it when I gave up the rights. I wanted a home here in France, where most of my businesses were located. As much as I loved that home, I gave it to my brother for safe-keeping.

“I was told by father to come and keep you company on the trip back to New England,” he said, looking guilty.

“You mean he wanted you to come here so I wouldn’t try to run is what you meant?” I asked, rephrasing his statement. I knew I was right when he shifted in his chair.

“Yea, I am here to make sure you get there; otherwise he is punishing me with the same fate as you brother,” he said chuckling.

If I was against marriage, my brother was even worse. He went as far as only allowing a woman close to him when they were in bed… then shortly afterward wouldn’t call them again. Even if he was falling for them a little, he would tell them to leave. He was determined not to be with one woman; I could see his point in it, but it gets tiring after a while. One wants to settle down; or find hopes to.

“I am going. I have an idea of this girl and what she looks like.”

“What do you mean by that? You know you cannot meet her; father wouldn’t allow it,” he stated, cocking an eyebrow at me.

“He wouldn’t, but the other one involved in the whole fiasco came here today and showed me a picture of her; he even went as far as telling me to buy her clothes so I would know that it was her when I see her.”

Ian held up his hands in a ‘stop’ gesture,”You mean he showed you what she looks like and you still want to go through with it? You know father wouldn’t allow it.”

I growled under my breath, “Ian, you will not tell father about me knowing of her. We both don’t like this arrangement, so when I meet her I can decide whether I want to marry her or not; Niall has assured me I have a choice.”

Ian widened his eyes. “You mean, if you don’t want her, you can say no and that’s it?”

“Yes, that is what he said. I can meet her and if I don’t care for her, I can call it quits. Seems pretty nice to me,” I answered him, glancing at the picture on my desk.

Before I knew it I could hear my brother’s voice behind me, “Damn, she is a pretty thing isn’t she?”

I turned in my chair and shot him an icy glare. “She isn’t yours to look at.”

Ian started to laugh and I stood in my chair, feeling like I needed to defend her honor against him. I was taken back; that feeling has never happened to me before. Sure she was appealing from her picture, but I had yet to meet her.

“I meant no disrespect to you or her brother, but you seem to think she is already yours; your possessive streak is getting the better of you,” he said still laughing and I groaned.

This girl was going to be the end of me; I could feel it, and yet I was welcoming it. I went and grabbed my coat from the wall, and turned to my brother.

"Come, we have some shopping to do," I told him, and we headed into town.

~o0o~

Those two weeks passed at a snail’s pace; I couldn’t make them go any faster and I tried all I could. I went to the local clothing store in town and found a nice selection of dresses that I wanted to see her in. I considered what Niall said to me(she loved green), but I wanted to see her in all colors…and mostly reds. I ordered over thirty dresses: all silk, handmade with the finest woven lace. I hoped she would like my selections for her. I also sent matching corsets for each gown along with other under things.

It was more than I should have purchased, but with Ian there… well, he seemed to be more enthusiastic than I was about shopping for her. He kept saying she would look lovely in this; think of how it would be nice to see her with just this on… The lady that helped us behind the counter looked at him with a disgusted look and I couldn’t blame her. He loved women, but not the right way -not the way they wanted to be loved.

I was informed by Niall when she received all the gowns and was told that she loved the green dress I had sent for her. According to his daughter, she would be wearing it to board the ship, though she seemed to think it was too expensive.

I balked when I read that - the girl would have to get used to the best if she were to be my wife. Her beauty must be accented by her clothing, which should serve to bring out her color and soft curves.

My brother Ian and I were waiting by the docks of the ship, waiting to spot her so I could get my first real look at her. I was sure she would stand out, seeing that most of the ladies were wearing white or black. I loved the fact she loved color; it would make her all the more beautiful.

“Can’t we just go on board and look for her there? I think I need a drink,” I could hear my brother complain beside me.

I was about to answer him when a carriage pulled up and stopped in front of ours. I felt my stomach clinch with excitement and fear. Part of me wanted to meet her, the other part wanted to get out of it and run off. That part of me was quickly silenced when she stepped out of the carriage with the help of the driver.

If I thought her picture did her justice, I was proven wrong. The color of the dress was perfect; it brought out the creamy color of her skin. She was blushing slightly from the noise and something else, though I wasn’t quite sure what. She started walking toward the docks and I head the last call for boarding.

“There she is and that’s our cue,” I told Ian as I got out of the buggy and walked behind her, well not exactly behind her because a couple stepped in front of us for a moment. It angered me that I lost her from my sight and I rudely pushed past the two in front of me. What I saw disgusted me in ways I have never known - the ticket man spit in front of her and she clearly looked displeased. I quickly walked over by her, but not too close. I wanted to have a word with the man that would dare to disrespect her in such a way.

“Do you have no manners when there is a lady present before you?” I seethed at his form taking the ticket from her hand.

“I meant no disrespect sir, I assure you,” the older man said, handing the papers back to the young woman and nodding to her with a small smile that just made my skin crawl. “You are a pretty little lady, and I am sorry for my rude behavior,” he said then he had the nerve to wink at her. ‘MINE’I wanted to scream at him, but I held myself back, partially because I was startled I was thinking that and also I had made a deal with Niall. And I intended to keep my side.

So I replied, glaring at him, “I do believe your attentions are not welcome; you will let her move on before I call your superiors.”I put as much venom behind my words as I could and it seemed to work because the older man quickly dropped his grin and nodded to me.

I was intending to rip him a new one, enough to make him piss himself, when I felt a pair of eyes looking at me. I looked down to the soft angel taking in my form. When I caught her eye, her breath hitched and she blushed slightly; it was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. I wanted to reach out and touch her cheek but she narrowed her eyes and attempted to speak to me.

“I thank you for your concern sir, but it is really not necessary,” her voice rang in my ears; I could tell from her tone that she wasn’t happy at the moment and I knew it was because of me. Niall did warn me she was a feisty one; I was starting to like that about her.

“A thousand pardons madam, I was merely doing what your male escort was supposed to do,” I said, bowing my head a notch to her. Her facial expressions were so amusing and I found myself liking her instantly.

“Thank you for your assistance, but I can take care of myself,” she replied with an edge to her voice and turned her attention back to the older man. “Thank you for your kind words. Now if you will excuse me,” she said, looking back to me, “I must be getting on board.”

And like that she started to walk away. That wasn’t going to work for me; I started after her to help her over the steep steps when the old man spoke up.

“Tickets sir,” he said and I looked to Ian, who had an amused expression on his face from the whole scene. He rolled his eyes and proceeded to take out the tickets and hand them to the older man while I made my way after the angel that sparked my interest.

I took four strides and was at her arm. I placed my hand under her forearm to escort her on board immediately feeling my body on fire from her touch; I almost groaned from the feel of it. I noticed a look of apprehension on her part and I leaned down to her ear and whispered, “Allow me to help you so you won’t fall my lady.”

When we got to the deck, she turned to look at me and I caught her staring at my chest for a moment before her eyes locked with mine.

“Thank you for walking me up,” she said softly and I had to resist the urge to lean down and kiss her full lips. But her words left me confused.

“I thought you said you didn’t need any assistance,” I said with amusement and my eyebrow cocked.

She jerked her arm away from my grasp and I was upset from the lost of contact with her. Touching her was amazing and I had only touched her arm so far. I was looking forward to touching all of her.

“I don’t, but thank you nonetheless,” she said, turning on her heels and walking towards the upper class entrance. I couldn’t let her leave just yet, I needed one thing from her then she could leave me, well for now anyways.

“What is your name?” I asked her and she stopped, turning around to meet my eyes once more.

She took a step towards me and replied, “Sookie Stackhouse.”

What a lovely name I thought to myself. “Miss. Stackhouse,” I said, taking her hand in mine and kissing her palm and she looked in my eyes, entranced. “Nice to meet you. I hope to see more of you on this trip.”

She blushed a deep red and closed her eyes. I couldn’t help myself - I reached out and touched silky smooth cheek with two fingers. “Your color is beautiful.”

She kept her eyes closed and stuttered, “Youuurr…” then she cleared her throat and tried again. “Your name?” she asked of me.

“Eric Northman,” I answered her and almost tried in vain to kiss her lips, but my brother made his presence known, pointing out the crowd on the deck I shook my head and walked away from her. I didn’t want to and she looked confused for a moment until she turned and went through the doors to her room.

“So what do you think Eric? You think she will make a good wife for you?” he asked me as we leaned against the railing watching the ship take to the ocean.

“I think I will get to know her first but so far,” I said giving him a smirk, “I like her.”

2010-03-16T10:49:00.000-05:00

Fighting Against Fate

Chapter 1:

"Sookie, you're going to be late my dear," I heard my grandmother call out from the foyer.

Felicia, my ladies maid, was pulling the laces of my new corset tighter, so tight in fact that I could hardly breathe. I was trying not to scream, but then from the tightness of it, I doubted I would be able to breathe once it was on.

"Felicia… not so…tight," I gasped as I struggled to remain still, holding the bedpost for dear life as Felicia finished tugging the last tie. Once Felicia let go and allowed me to straighten up, I tried breathing. Nope, not going to be easy.

"Ms. Stackhouse requested that it be as tight as I could manage; I am only doing as I was told," Felicia stated, lifting the green dress up over my head.

I looked into the floor length mirror, seeing the embroidery of the expensive dress, while Felicia buttoned up the back. There is delicate green lace tracing the bottom and also the curve of my breast.Where do they make green lace?

My husband to be, whose name was never told to me… even after I protested, only sent the best and most expensive items. The dress fit snuggly against my curves and showed off the bounty of my growing bosom. I didn't enjoy showing a lot, but since this is what he sent, I thought I might as well get used to it. I would rather he showered me with attention, as I had told my grandmother, but both parties insisted we not meet until the wedding. How sick this is, I never get to meet the man I'm supposed to be with.

The dress, the corset, and even the shoes were new; they were all gifts. Gifts from the man I was leaving my grandmother's home to man in question bought my entire wardrobe and wanted nothing more than for me to wear only his things. At first, I balked. Who the heck does this person think he is to throw gifts at me and he has never met me? I am not a woman to be coerced with gifts. I wanted to be cherished and spoken sweetly to, what I thought any woman wanted from a potential suitor. But I never received any word from him… never a card or a telegraph.

I told my grandmother that I couldn't accept these things, but she corrected my thinking fast. Adele Stackhouse had fixed this marriage the moment I was born, against my parents' wishes. When they both died from influenza when I was seven, she was given full custody of me. I love my grandmother, although I don't agree with her form of marriage. She has spent years preparing for me to be shipped off to New England in America to meet my suitor.

I knew my grandmother wouldn't let just anyone have me as a wife. Her choice was fastidious and yet fair as she always was. Jason, my older brother, was given a wife by Adele's choice. He was married to an English girl by the name of Sophie-Ann, a very sweet girl that I came to care for in the three years since they were married.

My suitor's name was not told to me although my brother was told his; I was only told that he came from a wealthy family and had an estate in France where we would live once married by both traditions. While his family lived in New England after moving there from another country, he took up residence here so he could better look over his businesses. The young man was a few years older than me and we were to be wed there first then back in my home country so all was legal. One wedding was one too many in my opinion.

"Miss, I will just pack up the rest of your things and you will be on your way. I am so sorry I won't be able to accompany you on your trip," Felicia once again apologized to me. I could tell she genuinely liked me, not only because she was always so sweet to me, but because I took an interest in what she said. The others she had worked for in her short life, she told me had not treated her as kindly as I always have.

"It is fine Felicia," I said, reaching for Felicia's hand and rubbing it soothingly.

"I would have loved the company, seeing it is three weeks long. But I will miss you," I leaned and gave her a hug; the gesture shocked the poor girl for a moment before she returned it in kind.

"I will see you when you get back?" she asked, unsure of her role now.

"Yes, I have asked for you to accompany me when I return from my first wedding," I told her, my eyes wandering towards the window. I wanted to marry because of love, not this way. But I wanted to do what was best for my family and especially didn't want to disappoint my grandmother.

I looked into the young girl's eyes and smiled. "When I come back, I will be interested to hear the latest gossip, so keep your ears open."

Felicia smiled. She was only sixteen, but was a beautiful young woman. She wore her long, dark hair in pigtails everyday and they complimented her plain sweet favorite thing to do was listen in and chat with the other local maids, and it was the one vice she was allowed twice a week for an hour. When she came back from her outings, she always told me all she heard; I enjoyed her company very much and asked Adele if I was allowed to keep her for myself.

"I will miss." The young girl walked out of the room and signaled to the other attendants waiting to take my things downstairs.

I put my shoes on and looked into the mirror, seeing for the first time, not the twenty two year old girl I was, but a soon to be wife and mother. Oh how I wondered if I could hold on to my youth longer, but I had argued about it enough with Adele. After three years of protesting, I decided I would do as I was told and hope for the best.

I walked down the staircase, glancing at the clock on the wall as I made my way to the front door.

"My dear, are you all prepared?" Adele addressed me from the study area.

I walked over and noticed Adele had company: her neighbor, and good friend of the Stackhouse family, was sitting in the dining area enjoying a cup of tea.

"You look lovely in that dress Sookie. So grown up," said Niall, coming over and kissing my hand.

"Thank you Mr. Brigant, for your compliment," I said with my sweet accent, smiling as he released her hand. I had moved around so much when my parents were alive, that none of the local accents stuck with me. Even after moving to France to live with my grandmother, I didn't pick hers up. It seems, I have been told that I sound like a sweet southern girl to some, though I don't know what that means.

"Sookie, you are looking very pretty. This young man has good taste; I told you he did," Adele walked over and hugged me tight, making it more difficult for me to breathe.

"Yes, it is nice," I answered drolly, trying to keep my distaste from seeping through too far.

It didn't escape my grandmothers ears, "You will not forget where you are going and whom you are meeting. Remember this as you conduct yourself alone without onlookers," Adele chided me, wanting me to realize the weight of the situation.

"Perhaps I should accompany you…" Adele started to say but Niall cut in.

"There is no need. Sookie is very mature and will behave, you know this. Besides, she will be well taken care of, from the arrangement I made with the accommodations." Niall winked at me, and my face fell from confusion.

"What do you mean by that Mr. Brigant?" I asked,my brow furrowing.

"You will enjoy your trip is all; a little sea air will do you good I think."

"But…"

"Now, Now Sookie. Look at the time, you must go or you will miss the last call," Adele said, grabbing my hand and walking me towards the door.

"Your hair is neat, your clothes are finely pressed…You will return here a married woman," she said softly in my ear, hugging me close once more.

Adele pulled back and motioned for me to get in the carriage. I obeyed and gracefully took a seat on the red velvet cushions. Niall stepped out with Adele on to the busy, high-class sidewalk in front of the house, waving farewell as the carriage departed.

I waved back until the carriage turned the corner and a single tear escaped, running down my cheek. I can do this…I can, I kept telling myself silently, not realizing when we had arrived to the docks. I could hear the sounds of the horns being made for last call on boarding.

The driver opened the door and I accepted his hand to escort me from the seat. I looked up and took in the large ship before my eyes. It was named Intrepid. A fitting name for my journey across the ocean to the unknown, my mind supplied.

I squared my shoulders, took a deep breath, and walked towards the older man checking tickets and such at the boarding gate.

"Good day young miss, may I see your pass please?" he asked as kindly as he could manage with tobacco in his jaw. He tilted his head to the side and spit while I reached into my small carry on purse to hand him the ticket.

I looked at him with disgust and before I could tell him how rude he was, spitting in front of a lady, I heard another voice do it for me.

"Do you have no manners when there is a lady present before you?" the man's husky deep tone bellowed over the crowd. His voice wasn't a French accent that was sure, but I could tell there was a hint of one hidden there somewhere.

The sound of it sent a shiver through my body and the rude man looked to the presence behind my small frame.

"I meant no disrespect sir, I assure you," the older man said, handing me back the papers and nodding with a small smile. "You are a pretty little lady, and I am sorry for my rude behavior." He added a wink for good measure it seemed but that just made my blood boil more.

I opened my mouth to respond when the man behind me interjected again, "I do believe your attentions are not welcome; you will let her move on before I call your superiors"

A course of new anger rippled through my body at the man behind me, and I turned with force to look into the face of the man to tell him that his assistance was not needed or desired. As my eyes connected with his body I was taken aback by the sheer size of the man in front of me. His massive frame was much taller than my 5' 6" body, but he was not overly tall.

He was a man that took care of his body and appearance. His blond hair was pulled back into a tight ponytail, which was whipping in the wind from the air around them. He was dressed in a dark blue pinstripe suit, and matching tie.

He turned to me after realizing I was looking at him and was given the pleasure of his crisp blue eyes staring back into mine. My breath hitched for a moment from the sheer intensity of his gaze till I remembered why I turned around in the first place.

"I thank you for your concern sir, but it isn't necessary," I said, narrowing my eyes slightly.

The man gave me an amused look, probably wondering whom this girl was to speak to him in such a manner, especially since we hadn't been properly introduced.

"A thousand pardons madam, I was merely doing what your male escort was supposed to do," he said, bowing his head a notch to me.

I wasn't taking this; not only was I not supposed to speak to men, but I didn't know him or his name. So in the back of my mind, I decided to ignore the handsome man that was entrancing me with his voice and looks though it pained me to do so.

"Thank you for your assistance, but I can take care of myself," I replied, turning to the older man. "Thank you for your kind words. Now if you will excuse me," I said, looking back to the tall blond man behind me, "I must be getting on board."

I started to walk up the steep platform and was soon accompanied; a hand was touching her elbow and was not invited to do so.

"Allow me to help you, so you won't fall my lady," his husky voice whispered in my ear. I didn't want to cause a scene, as there were others on board waving at the parties down below. His touch was sending tingles into my body just from the warmth of his hand.

Once we made it on the deck, I turned to him and noticed I was close to his chest. The closeness was unsettling for me seeing as I had never been that close to a man before, what with being sheltered… only given female companions to converse with. I moved my eyes up his torso to his face and was greeted with a warm, smug smile.

"Thank you for walking me up," I said, unsure of what else to say. His presence left me speechless; that had never happened to me before.

He lifted an eyebrow. "I thought you said you didn't need any assistance."

I jerked my arm loose from his hand, upset from his remark and he dropped his smile, seemingly upset that I would want to be away from his touch.

"I don't. But thank you nonetheless," I said, turning and walking towards the hall to where the upper class were being shown their living quarters.

"May I ask your name?" The voice followed me the few steps, and I stopped and turned to him. He was standing there looking to me expectantly. Without thinking about my actions I took a step towards him, feeling like there was a rope between us and he was pulling me slowly in.

"Sookie Stackhouse," I responded quietly.

"Miss. Stackhouse," he said, taking a step forward to close the distance between us and taking my hand. He placed a soft kiss on my palm and looked down on me through his long eyelashes. "Nice to meet you. I hope to see more of you on this trip."

I blushed deeply before I could help myself, never having received any attention from a man. I didn't know how to respond so I closed my eyes; committing the touch of his lips to my I went to open my eyes, I felt his finger touch my cheek, grazing it across my skin softly. "Your color is beautiful."

"Youuurr…" I cleared my throat and tried again, "Your name?" I whispered, trying to ignore the feeling of his skin touching mine lightly.

"Eric Northman," he said and, without another word, his touch disappeared.

I opened my eyes and looked around the deck, but I didn't see him. I took a moment and collected myself, chastising my mind silently, thinking that I shouldn't have let him touch me. Adele would be furious with me if she saw what just happened.

I walked over to the double doors to the area I would be staying at. Two men opened them, in a way knowing who I was, and I continued walking into the large opening.

I could see the various people wearing high class outfits and she knew this was her level to be on. I walked over to the main desk area, in the middle that looked like a concierge booth to figure out where I would be staying.

"May I help you madam?" his cool voice greeted me.

"My name is Sookie Stackhouse, and I wish to be taken to my room."

"Ah, a woman who knows what she wants," he said slithery, and I sighed.

"What room am I in?" I asked looking at his nametag, it read: Andre.

"You are in room 216 madam, may I escort you there?" he asked, coming around to take my arm. This cannot be real; I have only been away from my home for not even an hour and I get hit on by three men now. No wonder grandmother kept me at home all those nights. If this is what is out there, I would rather stay at home, I thought to myself.

"That won't be necessary. I will show her," a quirky voice came from beside me, when I turned there stood my best friend Amelia.

I squealed with delight seeing her on the ship with me.

"What are you doing here?" I asked unable to hide my delight from the turn of events, and also noticing many glances in my direction from my outburst.

"My father wanted me to come and keep you company. Besides, did you really think you could leave and get married without me?" Amelia said, hugging me tight.

"I am happy you are here and I am not doing this alone," I said as a tear fell down my cheek.

"No crying now my dear friend; let's go to our room and get you settled," Amelia smiled, tucking her arm around mine and leading me to our room.

We walked into the large suite and I gasped at the size of it.

"There are two bedrooms, two bathrooms, and also a large living area. Oh, and we both have our own balconies," Amelia continued to prattle on about the room and I noticed the ladies maid standing in the corner looking obviously bored to be there. I have yet to see one that acted this way and her demeanor intrigued me.

"It's nice to meet you, I'm Sookie Stackhouse, but you can call me Sookie," I introduced myself, reaching out and shaking her hand. The young woman looked surprised and a smile came across her face.

"My name is Pamela; but you can call me Pam," she answered.

I smiled at the exchange and Amelia came over. "You will love Pam, she is so sweet. Though she can be a handful at times, I still keep her around."

Pam glared at Amelia and I chuckled lightly but decided not to get into her statement; not with the look Pam was giving.

"Sookie, Pam is my ladies maid Niall let me bring. She is new and I wanted her to keep me company. She is also my friend, but you know how that is," Amelia said, taking Pam's hand and walking to the sofa.

"Yea, I wanted to bring Felicia but grandmother wouldn't hear of it. I will miss her," I said sadly, thinking of my sweet friend back at the home I left. It will never again be my home; mine will be with a man I don't know. The thought of it was making my eyes water, and Amelia seemed to notice the shift in my mood.

"Sookie, let's not think of that right now. Tell me, anything interesting happen so far since you came on alone? That had to be an experience." Amelia asked me, while motioning for Pam to bring her a drink.

I blushed and looked away, thinking of the tall blond man and the feel of his lips… the way he had me wanting more, but I knew I couldn't allow myself to.

"Tell me, I know that look. What happened?" Amelia said, and Pam was looking expectant.

I stood and walked to the window and looked out as the ship started its course to a new beginning for me. A man that came too late for me… because I belong to another.

"Eric…His name is Eric Northman," I said, sighing as I looked out at the waters below. The sun was glistening off the deep blue color; the same color as his eyes.

"What are you talking about?" Amelia asked confused, walking over to where I stood. I turned with tears in my eyes, and wiped them away before they could fall.

"Nothing, it doesn't matter. I am off to be married; I won't see him again if I can help it. Promise me, you will help me," I pleaded with my best friend, hoping she would understand. If I had to I would stay in this room just to keep myself from the temptation I might fall prey to. Just thinking of his smooth voice and silky touch… the way his eyes were dancing with life when I looked into them; I knew right then that he was trouble. Trouble I needed to avoid at all costs.

"Anything you want Sookie. But if you want to talk to him…"

"No, I promised my grandmother I would behave and I will. I need to start this new life on the right foot, so to speak. I am determined Amelia," I said, squeezing my eyes shut. But that didn't help; his eyes were the only things I could see.

Amelia didn't say anything to me for a while; she wrapped her arms around me in a tight hug and stroked my back soothingly. I couldn't stand that I felt this way about a man I just met; I wanted to know more about him. But I knew in my heart that I wouldn't go against my grandmother's wishes. So I vowed to myself that was the last time I would see Eric Northman.

2010-03-15T11:29:00.000-05:00

Claiming the Heart

God bless me; the night wasn't over yet.
I trudged back to my bedroom and pushed the door open, intending to wash my face or brush my teeth or make some stab at smoothing my hair, because I thought it might make me feel a little less trampled.
Eric was sitting on my bed, his face buried in his hands.
He looked up at me as I entered, and he looked shocked. Well, no wonder, what with the very thorough takeover and traumatic changing of the guard.
"Sitting here on your bed, smelling your scent," he said in a voice so low I had to strain to hear it.
"Sookie . . . I remember everything."
"Oh, hell," I said, and went in the bathroom and shut the door. I brushed my hair and my teeth and scrubbed my face, but I had to come out. I was being as cowardly as Quinn if I didn't face the vampire.
Eric started talking the minute I emerged. "I can't believe I—"
"Yeah, yeah, I know, loved a mere human, made all those promises, was as sweet as pie and wanted to stay with me forever," I muttered. Surely there was a shortcut we could take through this scene.
"I can't believe I felt something so strongly and was so happy for the first time in hundreds of years," Eric said with some dignity. "Give me some credit for that, too."

I looked up at him, shocked. Did he really say he was happier than he had been in so long? That was hard to believe, but somehow I knew it was the truth. Something in his eyes, and something inside of me was all telling me that he wasn't lying. I walked slowly over to him, keeping my eyes on his. He stared back with as much intensity as I could have hoped for, the same that I saw in his eyes when he was still mine.
I sat next to him on the bed gently, but kept a few feet between us. He shifted slightly to see me better, and for once I didn't know what to say to him. We only looked at each other, and when I couldn't take anymore I blurted out, "You were happy?" As soon as the words left my mouth I knew. I knew there was no going back, because as much as I wanted to, I felt this inner calm and yearning I had been pushing aside since he left that night so long ago.
He cocked his head to the side, regarding me, and studying my face. "Deeply." He raised his hand and gently ghosted his fingertips along my forearm causing goosebumps to form along my skin. My mouth opened slightly, and my eyes drooped, reveling in the mere touch that ignited fire in me. It seemed he felt my own desire, and his fangs came down, barely peeking from behind his lips.
I panted slightly as his hand went up my arm and to my shoulder, pulling down the shirt a bit before brushing against the spot he bit me the last time we were together. A place right behind my ear, the most erotic spot on my body as far as I knew. He spent many hours enjoying my moans and pleading when he paid attention to said spot. I blinked and took in his eyes; pools of ocean blur staring back at me. How could I have allowed this man to leave, and not tell him what happened, what had built between us? His gaze told me all I needed to know. He was betrayed, yet very soft, inviting me to say what I wanted. What I wanted and needed were two different things at that moment as far as I was concerned.
"Eric..."
"Hmm," he said, the noise coming from what sounded like deep in his chest. He scooted closer to me, and his hand never left my neck as he stroked the skin there. I leaned into his touch and it seemed to encourage him further. "We made love, many times." It wasn't a question; he was simply stating a fact. He knew… he knew it all. "We made love in so many positions..." his voice trailed off while studying my face, and lines on my skin. I was starting to grow nervous, wondering where this was leading. I was so tired from everything that had just happened, yet he was still there, in my room.
"Eric..."
"I told you were beautiful, smart, loyal, creative," he whispered, and though he was saying it out loud, it was more to himself. His hand trailed up to my face and he cupped my cheek into his hand, his thumb tracing over my lips. "Your lips are still as soft as I remember them."
Before I could react his lips were brushing against mine. To my surprise, it wasn't intense; it was tender and loving, something I never thought this Eric was capable of. All the kisses he had given me up to this point, even after his memory was gone, were all full of lust and hard passion. While this one too had the passion, it held in it the one quality I had never experienced from him except for when he kissed me those days he stayed with me.
His hand went up into my hair as his other went to my lower back. He gently laid me back on the bed while his lips tenderly and gently reintroduced themselves to mine. He was so sweet as his tongue lightly traced my bottom lip, asking for entrance. I granted him what he sought and felt his hand come up and rest on my stomach from my back. For minutes, hours, or countless seconds I got lost from his kiss, and the feel of him close to my body once again made me realize it had been too long since I had last had him with me.
He shifted and was over me, pressing his erection against my thigh. I shivered against his cool body pressing over my now thoroughly overheated one. I felt his hand play with the buttons of my shirt, and before I knew it he had all of them undone. His hands palmed at the soft flesh, teasing the nipples that hardened to his touch. I moaned into his mouth as his cool fingers tugged and pulled, massaged and caressed my breast.
"I want you," I said against his lips, and groaned when he pulled back to look into my eyes.
He tilted his head to the side. "Are you the tiger's?" he asked.
"I am no ones," I answered. He pulled back more, and I took hold of his shirt before he could get completely off my body. He fell back against me, and his face was devoid of emotion as always. "Where are you going?"
Eric placed both hands on either side of my head, and smirked. "You wish for me to stay, Sookie?"
I swallowed and felt his thumbs come up on either side of my throat, softly touching the skin there. "Yes," I breathed, keeping eye contact with him.
"Tell me what you want," he asked, his hands moving down my sides, sending tingles through my blood stream. What did I want? I knew at that moment I wanted his hands on me, I wanted the connection I had been denying myself for so many months. His eyes were boring into mine as I internally debated my answer to him. Could I tell him I wanted this to happen, but not think of what he remembered?
"I want you," I repeated and leaned forward to steal a kiss from his waiting lips. He moved his head before I could get there, and I felt his lips against my pulse point, his hair cascading all around me. I felt so secure and loved, as though I was whole. But why wouldn't he kiss me?
"I know," he said, pressing his lips against my cheek, darting his tongue out and licking my face. His frame pressed against my body was starting to move, and I could feel his arousal against me. It was becoming more apparent. I moved myself, and he let out a soft groan, desperate and full of desire. I reciprocated and he kissed me again.
It was so much of what I remember feeling so many months ago. His lips brushing against mine… feeling his devotion for me.. I had missed this affection; I had missed his presence in my home. A place he, at one time, wanted to call his. My hands went up and tangled into his hair, and I gripped him, bringing him down with more force. Trying to show what I wanted, not in words, but through the passion building inside of me. Eric's tongue once again found its way into my mouth and he worked me over as I moaned and arched my back against him, spreading my hips wider, hoping he would get the clue.
"Eric..." I moaned into his mouth once again, my voice growing hoarse with need. He grunted while his hands ghosted over my nipples and down to the drawstring on my pants. He pushed them down easily and within moments, I was bare to him, my legs wrapped around his waist, and all that was between us now was his clothing. I started to take off his shirt, but he lightly shooed my hands away.
His hand went down between my legs as I watched him, panting for air. "Tell me."
"What do you want me to say?" I asked, and he narrowed his eyes.
"Can you not feel, what it is?" he said, his voice straining as his fingers brushed over my curls. I arched into his hand, but he removed it and placed it back beside my head.
"You are confusing me Eric. I don't understand."
He sat up on the bed and took me with him, sitting me beside him. My shirt was still undone and my breasts were hanging freely along with wearing no pants, but I was so absorbed in what he was trying to convey that I didn't bother covering up.
Eric surprised me when he took my hand and held it over his unbeating heart. I opened my hand and looked at him, waiting for him to explain. "Do you feel it?" he asked again, and I shook my head.
His grip on my wrist tightened, and he leaned closer. "What am I supposed to feel Eric?"
Eric's free hand came over touched my cheek gently. "The flow of energy between us."
"The bond?" I asked, and he nodded. "I can feel you, yes."
"What is it you feel right now?" he pressed and I sighed, opening myself up so I could feel him more.
A wave of lust, longing, and also another thing I had never felt before came from him. It was the strongest, and though to some it would feel like love, with Eric it seemed like it was more.
"Lust," I started, and I could feel his irritation come through. "You are irritated."
He snorted. "What else?" he was trying to get me recognize the one part I didn't want to. This Eric couldn't be what I wanted. The one I fell for was long gone, and though he had the memories back, there was no way he was going to come back to me and be who he was. Eric Northman was a Viking, not a sappy man. He seemed to feel my thought patterns and a low growl came from his chest.
"I feel your...longing." His eyes softened hearing me admit to this. Of course I would have preferred talking to him right now, but I knew Eric wasn't going to give up easily.
"And?"
I closed my eyes and listened to the bond, trying to focus on what he was trying to say to me. Eric had always been a man about action, not so much words. "I feel your desire for me, your need to claim me."
A smile ghosted his lips, and it was disturbing with the fangs that popped along with it. I felt his dominance and need in having me say I was his, especially since it had been so long since we had been together. He didn't know what my stand was with him.
"Claim you?" he asked, his expression serious. "No, that isn't it."
I tried to yank my hand back, but he ignored my attempt. "Let go Eric."
"Tell me, do it," he said, demanding me to give in and open the gates to what he wished to speak about. I didn't think I was ready for this conversation. It was so late at night, and he wanted something I wasn't going to give to any man. I wasn't something to be owned. Eric, Bill, and Quinn, they all knew that. I belong to myself. He sensed my defiance as his own and narrowed his eyes. "You do not know."
"I do."
"You will not tell me."
I sighed. "No."
"You would have, if I was still here." The way he said it, I felt my heart break. I missed my Eric, I did.
"Yes," I said, giving in. He placed a finger under my chin and I met his soft gaze.
"Your heart," he said, moving to place a hand over it. "Do you not know?" I gasped, looking into his eyes, wishing and hoping for what he was saying to me. I couldn't think or try to turn from him. I held still as my emotions battled within.
"I do," I answered.
"Then why, Sookie?" he asked, and I felt a tear fall down my cheek.
"I didn't want it to be..." I said, but a harsh sob broke through my lips. He pulled me closer, holding me in his arms. I felt so cherished and protected in his arms. His hand came up and stroked my hair as I calmed down.
"I said I would live with you, give everything up. We would get married, and I would get a job."
I looked up, my eyes meeting his chin. "Yes, you did."
After a moment silence, he said, "Could you not feel it, even then?"
"Then? No, I couldn't."
He set me beside him and without thought I was on my back, his hands roaming over my naked flesh as his eyes remained locked with mine. "I wish you did, then you would be by my side."
His hand came up and rested between the skin of my breast. I closed my eyes, understanding for the first time what he wanted, what he needed from me. It wasn't the sex, or the need for me to be his. In his mind, that wasn't what he required from me. His hearts desire was more to own that one part of me I swore would never be anyone's. Much less Bill, or Quinn. But Eric – somehow he knew it was his, and he was waiting for me to admit it, even to myself.
"It has been yours Eric, it always has," I whispered as his lips brushed against mine, from tender to pure passion. In a moment his clothing was off, and the shirt that was hanging on my body was thrown to the floor. His body covered over mine as I raised my hips, joining with him, making us one.
As he reached the depth in me, and my breathing picked up, he stilled inside me, kissing me with the devotion I hadn't experienced all those months ago. He knew I was his, not in the sense of body, but in mind and soul. He knew it, but now that I did, I had no idea where this was going, or even if he wanted it to.
"This is just the beginning," he whispered, his lips against mine as he pushed forward and proceeded to show me just how much I had always been his.

2010-03-15T11:27:00.000-05:00

If Only

I stand there behind the shoots, sitting on the top fence, watching her. She is a magnificent creature. Her broad shoulders, straightened as she comes up and down with each move. The contortion of her features as she is moving towards her goal.
Everything about her screams out to me, and that is not something that happens… She is one of a kind, and from the moment I met her, or rather set eyes on her, I craved her. I had to have her, had to brand her with my name.
I watch as she makes a second turn, and does so gracefully and with ease, her straw hat still on her head, and her blond hair flowing behind her in the warm, southerly wind. I notice her eyes are focused on her task, but still glance my way. I feel a trickle of desire at that moment, and remember the first time I saw her.

4 years ago

"Eric, man, you have to come out with us tonight," Alcide said, fixing his black hair back with a greased comb.
He was one of the best friends I'd made on the long days and roads I have been traveling for the past year.
I started bull riding when I was sixteen, but couldn't get into it professionally until I turned twenty. I had a few loose ends to fix before I could go on the road full time, and he stuck with me through them all. He waited to start his career until we could go together.
"Naw, I think I am going to the plaza in a while. I am not interested in your… activities for the night," I said smirking. I knew all too well what he liked to do at night. There were plenty of girls along the way, wanting their chance at a cowboy.
I took my pleasures in them for the first eight months, but soon found I wasn't turned on by them anymore. They were just cattle to the slaughter house, easily used and ready for the picking. I wanted something more, but the time on the road didn't give me the chance to spend a great deal of time with anyone. And I doubted anyone wanted a man that wasn't going to be home often.
"If your sure..." he said, picking up his felt hat and adjusting it before putting it on.
"I am sure."
"See ya later then," he said, and closed the door behind him.
I lay back onto the bed, thinking about how quickly my life had become what it was. I was in a one star hotel, just barely getting by, but that is how it was supposed to be until I moved up the ranks. I was sure that one of those days my break would come and I had a feeling that was the year for it. I was already in fifth place, but I wanted first. Nothing would stand in my way for the top, that I was sure of.
I decided to leave for the evening, for my own pleasures. If anything, to get a drink and come back for some much needed rest. The next day, I was riding one of the third hardest bulls and needed to be on top of my game so to speak.
I was wearing a white button up shirt, with the first three buttons undone, showing off some of chest hair. My pants were form fitting, and very comfortable. These were broken in about three months ago, and fit rightly in all the important spots.
I grabbed my scuffed, old leather boots, just perfectly worn in if you ask me, and looked in the mirror at my reflection, while adjusting my felt hat. My lucky straw one was sitting out for the night. Ever since I started making perfect form on my 8 seconds and scoring high, I have kept it close and would make sure to wear it each time. Alcidejoked with me about it, but I really didn't give a shit what he thought about me and my superstitions. If something worked, I was one to not pass it up.
I walked out the door, grabbing my keys along the way. The fairgrounds where we were staying was only a few blocks away. So I walked in that direction, keeping my eyes peeled; I was consciously aware of my surroundings, alert for any sign of danger.
I am taller than most bull riders, but height never keeps anyone from messing with you.
When I reached the grounds, I walked in and went past security. I decided to go over to where the bulls were being kept. A sentimental gesture, yes, but I still liked to get acquainted with the animal that would be my success or my undoing. Another thing that had always worked out in my favor that Alcide scoffed at. But then again, he was in tenth place and I in fifth for a reason.
I walked over to the fenced in area where there were about seven different bulls grazing. I spotted my bull, the big white one with brown spots over its mid section. I stood up on the fence post, and sat half ass on the pole, looking directly at the bull. He stared right back and I knew then that he was a smart one. Usually the ones that looked away quick were the ones that didn't put up much of a fight.
"So we are going to get close tomorrow," I started, and took off my hat. I fingered the curves and shape of it was I went on. "Lets just agree to treat each other with respect and no one will get hurt. Agreed?" The bull snorted and turned its head; I wondered if it was mocking me. Fucking bull...
"I dunno about you, but I doubt that bull understands you," said a sweet, angelic voice from behind me. If I were to say I wasn't startled, I would be lying. I practically jumped off my perch, but I quickly caught myself before I bit the dust head on. I picked my hat up off the grass and jumped back over the fence to be met with peals of laughter from the girl once again.
"Do you make it a habit of sneaking up on people?" I seethed, as I brushed the dirt and specks of grass off my hat. I loved this hat, and she was lucky it didn't fall into the mud.
She took a few steps towards me and this time I could see her face, and the body that accompanied it. She was wearing a blue button up collar shirt, and it was tucked into her tight, cruel girl jeans. Her blond hair fell just past her shoulders and she smiled when the moonlight hit her face. She was beautiful.
"No, but its not every day I hear a cowboy talk to a bull either," she said, and went over to the rail. She leaned against it as I placed my hat back on my head.
I went and stood next to her, she smiled again, but this time I could see it close up. I felt a jolt of something pass through me, and I couldn't contain it. Something inside me, wanted to reach out, hold her, never let her go. It was disturbing, but welcoming at the same time.
"Whats your name cowboy?" she asked, and I smirked at her.
"Eric."
"Eric Northman?" she asked, and turned her body to mine. I wasn't sure if her knowledge of my name was good or not. I did get around a lot, but that was in the past. "It that you?"
"Yes. You've heard of me?" I asked, and she nodded, looking out in the field.
"I have," she said softly, turning her head back to me, "perhaps you would like to get a drink with me?"
I looked her in the eyes and saw her face turn to a pale, pink color, which trailed down her neck. She was blushing, and it was mouthwatering.
"I would love to," I said, holding out my hand to her.
She took it without hesitation. Holding her hand in mine felt almost natural, as though her touch, her being next me was where she was meant to be. I had just met her, but I found myself feeling as though I had known her longer than the few minutes that we had been talking. I entwined my fingers through hers and she didn't make a move against them, but squeezed my hand in response.
"So where is this place we are going?" I asked once I realized we were heading in the opposite direction of where I was staying. Her lips curled up into a small smirk and I felt something come to life in my body.
"Have you been to the Firecracker before?" she asked, and I shook my head.
"I haven't. I don't live around these parts," I answered and she smiled wider.
"I don't either, but this is the place you have to go when you are in Denver. Has anyone told you that before, Eric?" she teased.
"No, I usually go to the bar close to where I am staying if I want a drink. What's so nice about this place?"
"You will see," she said and squeezed my hand again. We walked a few more blocks and came up to a dirt road. She took to the right, and I continued with her. I was beginning to think she was taking me somewhere I wasn't going to get out of. Who was this girl anyway? She looked familiar, but I still didn't have her name. I rectified that immediately.
"What is your name?" I asked her, and she looked over to me, her eyes fixing on mine. Her baby blue eyes sparkled against the moonlight, and I wanted to kiss her at that moment, but felt it was too early. I didn't want her to run off before I got a chance to know her.
"Sookie, Sookie Stackhouse," she whispered looking not at my eyes now, but at my lips. I saw her small pink tongue come out and graze her plump lips. I couldn't resist anymore, and before I knew it, I leaned in and pressed my lips to hers. They were soft and sweet, as I thought they would be. She didn't pull back, but didn't respond either. I pulled back to see her eyes closed and her face pinked. She opened her eyes and stared into mine. She didn't say anything, but took my hand and began walking again.
After a few minutes of silence, I had to say something. "Sookie, are you upset..."
"No, but next time ask my permission," she said and I nodded, not saying anything more. We finally reached an abandoned barn in the middle of a field. There were trucks and cars parked along the building; it looked like the place was packed.
I had been in this town a few times already, and had never heard of this place. We walked in and I saw the bar to the right of the dance floor where there were many couples dancing to country songs. She tightened her grip on my hand and walked me over to the bar and asked for two beers. I pulled out a twenty and paid before she could protest. She thanked me and downed her beer quickly. Damn, the girl was thirsty.
"Hurry up. I want to dance the next one," she said and I took another swig from my beer. I wasn't a big dancer, but still, I knew a few things.
I set the empty bottle on the counter and she took my hand eagerly, and practically bounced out to the dance floor. 'Ride Cowboy Ride', was playing and it was a personal favorite of mine. I twirled her at the edge of the floor and easily moved in with the others already there. She was smiling and chuckling as I moved her along the floor, leading her in the basic three step routine.
She followed without any problem, her right leg between mine, and our pelvises connected. I could feel my dick stir to life, and I willed it down as I twirled her once again, watching her perfect ass wiggle coming back to me. Her back was to me now, and she took the chance to grind against me, and that time I couldn't control it. I went half mast and was glad my jeans were dark wash ones.
Otherwise everyone would have saw it. Sookie seemed to think it was funny and turned around, so I could lead her some more. Her hair smelled sweet like cherry blossoms, and her skin was so smooth. I wanted to run my hands over her body, feel her closer to me.
The song turned to a slow one, and I took the chance to get close to her, to be able to touch her more.
Her face flushed as she heard the song come on, and I grabbed her hand as she started walking away. "Hey, hey," I said and pulled her to me. She didn't say a word, but allowed me to embrace her body to mine. I did so slowly, wanting her to come the rest of the distance. She looked down, her face blushing deeper, and I put my hands around her waist. She took a step closer to me and set her forehead against my shoulder, closing her eyes, and breathing in deep. I had no clue what was going on in her head, but I hoped she wanted me as much as I her.
She raised her hands up over my shoulders and wrapped them around my neck, burying her face into my shirt. I could feel her smiling against my skin as I slowly moved us along, swaying two step style along the floor. Her feet easily kept up with mine again, and it felt like she was made for me, like no other woman could take her place.
Standing there, holding her in my arms, made me want the night to never end. The song came to a close all too fast and so did the evening. We stayed and chatted some about the different competitions and I found out where I had heard her name before. She was in the barrel racing competitions, and I heard she was in third place in her career. We talked more about our lives and family and before I knew it, we were back at the hotel, and it didn't dawn on me to ask her where she was staying.
"This is me, but I can walk you to where you are staying. I want to make sure you are safe," I said, and she smiled.
"I am in room 128," she whispered and I walked her in that direction. When we reached her door, she pulled out a key from her pocket and turned to me before placing it in the lock. "Thank you for a wonderful time tonight Eric. I had fun with you."
"Thank you for inviting me; I wouldn't have known about that place," I said and took a step back, so she didn't feel that I was expecting anything. To tell the truth I wanted her, but right now didn't seem right. I felt she needed to be courted, and not taken to bed so quickly. She was special, or she soon would be to me.
"Eric..." she whispered, and I stopped. She took a stride towards me and stood close enough to where I could feel her hot breath against my neck. Her lips grazed against my ear, and I felt a chill run through my body. "Kiss me."
I didn't hesitate. I put my hands on her waist, and pulled her body close to mine as our lips moved against the others. Her lips were sweet, and so very soft.
Kissing her, lit something on fire in me, something I had never felt before. Her tongue sought entrance to my mouth, and I met hers with mine. She moaned into my mouth softly, and the sound drove me wild. The sounds coming from her, left me craving more. Her hands went up; she took off my hat with one, running her other hand over the little hair I had from my buzz cut. She pulled back shortly after and kissed my lips once more, before turning the lock in the door. She turned around and smiled as she walked in and half shut the door. "Good night Eric."

Present

I remember watching her riding for the first time. She was a force to be reckoned with, and I knew she would one day be at the top of her division. Sookie was always pushing herself forward, and completed anything that she set her mind to. That was one of the things about her I quickly fell in lovewith. She never beat around the bush, she always did what she thought was right, and never stopped till it was completed. She never gave up on anything.
When I left her room that night, I was high as a kite from the kiss, and from just being around her. She was someone who could prove to be the one for me, and someone I could easily be with. That next day, after watching her ride, I gave her my cell phone number, encouraging her to call me when she had the free time. She gave me hers in return and three days later, I got a text from her. That was the beginning of the relationship that would forever change me.

3 years ago

We were coming from east Tennessee when I received a call from Sookie, telling me she was also going to be in Dallas today. We had been on the road for a few hours now, and I was growing more and more excited to see her. The last time I saw her was in Florida, and that was over four months ago.
The barrel competitions she was in were at times on the other side of the country and I hardly got to see her at all. When we were last together, we spent almost every second together, and I could tell from her actions and attentions that she was falling for me as much as I was for her. She was calling to me, to my soul. Having so many states between us was taking a toll on us, but we still kept up with our conversations. We talked at least twice a day, and that didn't include all the text messages we sent each other throughout the day. She was becoming my rock, and I couldn't thank her enough for her support.
I was now second in the championship and was climbing my way to first. The other rider that was in front of me was very much respected. He worked as hard as I have to get to where I was, and for that I liked him. Sookie had told me a few things about Hoyt and his background, and I wondered where she heard about it.
Little did I know… her brother was best friends with him, but didn't travel with him anymore, on account of him settling down and starting a family. Jason Stackhouse was also a famous bull rider who came in second to Hoyt most of the time. I wasn't far behind him anymore at tying his record, all I needed was a little luck on my side.
When we got to Dallas, I was becoming more and more excited with each passing minute. Alcidekept looking at me like I had lost my mind. "Calm down Eric. Your woman will be in your arms in less than five minutes."
I was practically squirming in my seat when I saw her. She was standing in front of the hotel entrance wearing a short, brown dress that came up above her knees. I needed her so badly, she would never know how much. Alcide pulled the car into a parking spot and Sookie came rushing over. I opened my car door frantically, contemplating ripping it from the hinges when it wouldn't open at first, and ran over to her arms. She met me halfway, and I pulled her into a hug, spinning us around, allowing her scent to tease my nostrils and her body to warm mine. She wrapped her legs around my waist and was locking down so as to never let me go. I placed my hands on her supple ass, and massaged her cheeks as I pulled her lips into a kiss with passion that was bottled up inside of me for four long months of not seeing her. She came to mean so much to me, and having her there in my arms made me never want to be apart from her.
When we parted lips she smiled, but never stopped kissing my face. She peppered me with her sweet kisses, and I couldn't get enough of it. "Sookie, I have missed you."
She never stopped, but started grinding her sex against my now hard erection, trying to spring forth from my jeans. "I missed you too." After a few more minutes I tried to place her back on the ground but she protested, squeezing her legs tighter around me. "No, take me to my room," she whispered against my lips and I groaned thinking of what we could do alone. Without another word, she quickly told me the room number and went back to my lips, kissing me sweetly and massaging her tongue with mine. The taste of her was something to be savored, something to never be taken for granted.
We made it to her door and she unlocked the door without saying anything or even moving her lips from mine. The girl could multitask for sure. I walked us inside and closed the door behind me, and quickly locked it in place. The last thing I needed was an audience or someone interrupting us.
This time when I pushed her legs gently off my hips, she complied and stood in front of me. I looked at her, skin flushed and her lips pouty and swollen from all her kisses on my rough skin. She was a sight to be seen, and I would show her just how much I needed her.
"I need you Eric, so much," she said, reaching up, placing her arms around my neck. "Will you give me what I want?" she asked, and I felt my dick swarm to life, and feel harder than ever. She lifted herself up on her tippy toes and placed a chaste kiss on my lips before pulling back. She walked over to the side table and lit the candle that was beside the bed and went over to the other ones around the room, and lit them one by one. It was past ten when we got here so it was dark out, and the candlelight would be perfect for that night. I really didn't know what to do, but watch her move in front of me, and think about was under her clothes I would soon be seeing. She stopped at the last candle and before lighting it, she turned to me.
"You are over dressed Eric."
It took a few seconds for my brain to catch up to what she was saying. My cock had currently taken all my blood supply so I really had to think about the words that came forth from her delectable mouth. I shucked out of my boots, not really paying attention to where I placed them and took off my socks, and shirt. By then. she was in front of me, rubbing her small, hot hands over my chest, fingering the hair there.
"Allow me," she huskily said and focused her eyes on mine. I could feel her fingers undo the button first then the zipper to my jeans, as she worked the pants over my hips. She broke eye contact and looked down at my erect member, coming up and poking her in the stomach, I saw a blush take over her features. I stepped out of my jeans and was standing there naked, for her to see all of me. She took a step back and I could see her pupils were dilated and her nipples were hardened through the fabric. She wasn't wearing a bra, so getting her undressed would be done in no time.
"You are now the overdressed one lover," I said and she blushed more. She took me by the hand and sat me on the side of the bed, her body in front of mine between my legs. She pulled her dress over her head and I was welcomed all at once with her body fully exposed.
She wasn't wearing anything under that small dress. An appreciative groan escaped my lips as I leaned forward and took one of her nipples into my mouth. Her fingers came up to my hair and she pressed me harder into her chest, begging for more. Little did she know, I would be ravishing her all night if she let me. I nibbled and sucked on her, moving to the other to pay attention to it equally. I snaked a hand up her leg, caressing the skin there, until I came upon her folds, slick with heat and ready for the taking. But I wanted to taste her first.
I released my mouth on her nipple and in one swift move, had her on the bed, and her legs open to me. I didn't wait for her to protest, but threw my head between her thighs, licking and teasing her nub. She squirmed against my hand as I inserted two fingers into her, pumping her and adjusting her to my size for later.
She moaned and thrashed, riding my fingers while I swirled my tongue and teeth against her bundle of nerves. She was panting, begging for more, begging for me to be inside of her. All in due time. I curled my fingers inside her and two strokes later she came on my lips and hand. I looked up at her at the moment it happened and saw her eyes fly back into her head, as the aftershocks overtook her body.
She shook from her release, and gasped for air as I licked her juices from my fingers and took my place beside her on the bed. But not before seeing the box of condoms beside me on the stand. I reached over as she lay there with her eyes closed and rolled on a condom, throwing the wrapper on the floor. I turned on my side and she rolled also facing me, shaping her body close to mine. She smiled and leaned in whispering, "thank you," and kissing my lips, tasting herself on them.
She then reached down and felt my erection, all ready for her and she pulled her hip up, placing it on mine. I kissed her sweetly and tenderly, as she placed my head at her entrance. Once my head was inside, I thrust into her, and in one swift move, I was buried inside of her. She yelped from the sensation, while digging her free hand into my shoulder. My hand rested on her hip and I stared into her eyes as I pulled out all the way and pushed forward once again. She moaned against my lips, and rocked her hips against my own. After a few minutes of adjusting her to my size, I rolled her onto her back kissing and nibbling her neck. Her hands went down to my ass, and squeezed hard, begging me to go faster.
"Eric, please, Eric..." she continued to moan, wanting it faster than I was giving her at the time. I wanted to savor this, but she had other plans. And I couldn't stand to hear her beg, so I quickened my pace. Soon enough she came, her muscles clinching against my cock, and I slowed so she could enjoy her release. I started back up this time but faster and harder, feeling my own impending release.
She met me thrust for thrust, our bodies becoming one at that moment. Her eyes locked with mine and there was only one thing running though my mind at that moment. I bent down to kiss her, feeling her about to release with me, and whispered against her lips, "I love you," and she came harder than the first time, milking me in the process. She screamed out my name and I buried my face into her neck, thinking of how perfect this moment was. She was perfect, everything about her. I could only wish she felt the same way.
As though she could read my mind she softly said, "I love you too."

Present

Hearing her say those words the first time, caused my heart to sing out and wish to never be apart from her. I wanted her with me always, but it wasn't going to happen. We both wanted to come out ahead. I was working harder trying to get to first place, since it came with the endorsements, and it was becoming something I placed first in my life. I really didn't give much thought to what Sookie thought about it, but thinking back, I should have. I should have questioned her, but I couldn't do anything about it then.

2 years ago

Sookie and I were happier than ever. We both saw each other as often as possible, even though it was hard to do. I put so much effort into seeing her, I slacked off in preparing for my rides. I was so distracted one evening, that I fell off not even at the three second mark. I was way off my game, but I didn't seem to care. Having Sookie by my side, was something I couldn't get enough of.
She stopped racing only to be with me all the time. I proposed to her about six months ago, and we got married a month later. She was wearing a traditional wedding gown one would have worn on a ranch, with her hair bundled up on her head. She was a sight to behold.
We ended up deciding to have a small family gathering, which consisted of thirty of our closest friends and family. We had been traveling a little over a year together, and she was my rock. She always gave me the support I needed. But the past few months had been the hardest on her. I hadn't been around as much as I used to, and I would sometimes leave her at home to go out of town, hoping I could concentrate that way.
Only, I couldn't get her off my mind. She was my weakness, and it was becoming something I couldn't deal with anymore. Eric Northman didn't have weaknesses, especially ones that came in the way of losing his dream, of being a champion bull rider. I loved her, god I did. The only thing was, when I was riding all I could think about was her riding me instead. That would be enough for me to lose my concentration and soon; I was falling back in the ranks. I was almost to ten when I made the decision. A decision I wasn't too keen with, but I was tired of falling below my usual standards.
One night when we were on the road, I snapped at her in our hotel room.
"God dammit. I can't take this anymore," I yelled out, slamming the door, and saw her sitting on the bed.
"What is it Eric? Is something wrong?" she asked, concerned, and I was feeling like an ass. I knew what I was there to do, but there was a part of me begging me not to. She was my all, and I couldn't go on without her. But I was a selfish bastard. I always wanted to be first, and with her there, it didn't look like it was going to happen.
She walked over and reached out her hand to me, attempting to console me, but I wouldn't let her. I walked around her frame, knocking her shoulder with mine and went over to my suitcase in the closet. I opened my drawers, the ones we shared, and could feel a part of my brain scream out 'NO' but I pushed it back; I needed to do this. It had to be fast and quick, like pulling off a band aid, then it shouldn't hurt as much.
"Eric?" she whispered, and I couldn't bring myself to look at her. I couldn't stand to see her heart break, knowing it was my fault.
"I need to go," I said and she started towards me, "alone."
She stilled in her tracks. "What do you mean alone?" she asked, her voice cracking. I closed my eyes for a moment and reopened them, throwing my clothes into the suitcase and going to the bathroom, taking my few things with me.
I came back into the room. She was still sitting on the edge of the bed, watching me, tears streaming down her face. "What is going on? Why are you leaving?"
I stopped and looked at her. I controlled my face as if it were stone so she couldn't see the pain I had in me. I couldn't break down in front of her, and not go through with this. She is a distraction. Its for the best, my mind supplied, helping me to go through with it. "I cannot be with you anymore Sookie. Just leave it at that."
She jumped off the bed and came towards me with anger in her eyes. "No Eric. I deserve to know more than that. We have been married for a year now, and I am your wife. You cannot just leave me you asshole."
I looked up, glaring at her as I zipped up my suitcase. "I can, and I will. You cannot stop me, so don't bother trying," I said, my voice hard and cold. "Its your fault I am not in first already. So I am going to fix the problem on my own."
I could feel my heart break in two seeing her so lost at that moment. She was my lover, my wife, my everything. Our relationship went beyond what others had on this earth. Deep down, she was my soul mate. I knew I was making a deal with the devil leaving her on my own selfish whim, but I'd be damned if I wasn't going to try to be first. I hated the thought of what would happen to us if I didn't. If I stayed, allowed myself to be that man, the one who always wondered if he truly had the stuff to make it, the thoughts 'what if' and 'why didn't I' ringing in my mind for eternity. No. I wouldn't let that happen. Sookie deserved better. There was no other option. I sucked in a deep breath, and put on my cowboy hat, picking up my stuff and opening the door.
I stopped at the door, the handle in my hand. I could turn around and beg for forgiveness, beg for her to take me back. But my pride wouldn't let me. I walked out the door, and as I closed it behind me, I heard her whisper, "I love
you Eric. Good bye."

Present

The day I walked out that door, was the beginning of the worst days to come. Six months after I left, I was back in second and a year later… I made first. I got endorsements from all around the country and some of the biggest ones I had gigs with. But my life was so incomplete. I didn't have my Sookie next to me, and even though I achieved my dream, I wasn't as thrilled about it as I should have been. It was then that I realized that my dreams had changed when I met her, but I was too stupid to see it then.
She was my everything, like I had though the title would have been. And she wasn't there to share it with me, and she wasn't there to nurse me along when I broke two of my ribs falling from a bull. It was our anniversary that day, and I had remembered when I mounted the bull. She is everything to me and I have to get her back.
That is the reason I am back in Dallas for the first time in over a year. Seeing her riding again brings me pleasure, and I can tell it does for her as well. The crowd erupts with applause as she finishes her rounds, her horse trotting past me from the last run.
She slows him down inside and I hear her sweet voice whispering to him, while leaning down and brushing his hair. I feel so jealous of that damn horse, hearing her caress him, something I had not felt in so long from her. I ache for her, and need her back in my life. I can't go on if she isn't with me. The only thing that gave me hope over the past year is that she never contacted me for a divorce. The thought gives me a glimmer of hope, that she still loves me, even after what I did to her.
She hops off her horse and takes the reins, leading him into the single stable. When she makes the corner, I walk over so I can hear her voice again.
"My sweet Quinn. You are so good to me, always being a good boy," she whispers, nuzzling his nose with hers. She picks up an apple from the side cabinet and gives it to him. "There you are honey."
She continues to coo to him until she realizes there is someone watching her - Me. For some reason, she doesn't turn around so I know she has to know it is me. "What are you doing here?" she asks quietly, and her words rip through my chest. I have a lot of making up to do with her.
"I missed you," I lamely say, and she still doesn't turn around, but continues petting her horse. "I came back to see you."
She turns around, looking me in the eyes, and I see the pain and anger still lingering within her. It is because of me she dropped out of her activities; she wanted to travel with me.
Who knows where she would be already if she hadn't met me. She takes off Quinn's saddle and picks up a brush to start grooming him. He is the fastest and strongest horse she has. She always brings him to these things and leaves the others at home. It was almost as though she is at one when she rides him.
"Well you saw me, now what?" she snaps, still brushing him. Quinn lets out a snort when I take a step closer.
"I wanted to talk to you," I say, standing behind her. She smells so good, even when she was sweating from the ride.
She stops brushing the horse and hangs her head. "I don't think we have a lot to talk about."
"Well, there is one thing we do," I say, pressing my body against hers. She leans back into my chest and I place my hands on her waist.
She turns and pushes me off of her, walking to the other side of the stable. "We do have one thing to talk about, and it is not that."
I raise an eyebrow. "And that is?"
She bites her lip before speaking. "I want a divorce."
Those four words coming out shatters any last hope I have of holding her again. She wants to be rid of me. Has she met someone else? Is she serious about not wanting to be with me?
"What?" I blurt out and she raises her eyes and jutts her chit out defiantly.
"I want a divorce," she says, but with more conviction. Her voice isn't strained either. She is being serious. I can only look at her, and wonder why I am so stupid. I could beg her, but I know she doesn't want that.
"I will think about it," I say, leaving without another word. I walk out of the stables and out to the fairgrounds, looking up at the sky as the sun sets.
I feel tears prickling around my eyes, but I hold them back. I can't let her go so easily, not as she did to me. I always wondered why she never fought for me that day, thinking it was my tone with her that made her think I was lost to her.
There isn't a moment that goes by that I don't think of her, not a second. I regret what I said to her, and she is going to know it, even if I had to beg. I have never had to before, but she is worth it in my eyes.
I circle around, seeing a place being set up for the after show. When the rodeo was over, all of us will get together afterwards and drink and dance. It will be the perfect time to see her again.
I head to the hotel and to get dressed in my best - the same clothes I wore when I first met her. I hope she remembers how she felt about me when she sees me tonight. I walk through the entrance and am immediately welcomed by other riders. They all know me one way or another, and ask questions until I see her. I leave them alone, seeing her walk in with her white cotton dress on. She is a vision of beauty, and she will be mine again.
I walk over to her and she stiffens when she hears me say hello.
"I thought you left," she says, taking the beer from the bartender and leaving him a tip. I take a swig of my own, as she quickly downs hers like she did that night.
"I couldn't. Not until you hear me out."
She snorts. "Like you did for me a year ago?"
I take her hand in mine and she tries to jerk it out, but relaxes after a moment. "I have always loved you Sookie," I say to her, and her eyes cloud over with tears. She bites her lip and nods, but doesn't answer in kind. I want to hear her say it to me, but I have a feeling I am not going to for a long time, if ever again.
"Will you dance with me?" I ask, noticing the song that is playing.
She hesitates a moment, tears falling from her eyes when she recognizes the song. It is the same one that played at our wedding as our first dance. She places her hand in mine and I feel a shock run through my body. I pull her close to me. I place a kiss under her ear and start singing to her along with the song.

You're the only one and only
My heart's beating for
I love you, need I say more
Now and ever, we'll be together
Of that you can be sure
I love you, need I say more

She chokes out a sob and clutches my shirt tighter. I feel her tears drenching my shirt and I feel my heart breaking. I have caused her so much pain, and it was all as a result of my own selfish desires.

I don't know just what it is
That you're needing to hear me say
The way that I'm feeling is more than mere words can describe
All this discussion could never
Do justice to something so heavenly-made
I'd rather tell you
With touches how I feel inside
Let me hold you, let me show you
What true love's all about
In these arms of mine I know you will find
You won't do without anymore
I'll love you forever need I say more

Before I know what is happening, she pushes away from me and bolts out of the front doors. I rush after her, and it begins to rain over us. A true testament to how I am feeling.
"Sookie!" I scream out to her, but she ignores me. She keeps running faster until I finally catch up to her. "Sookie. Don't. Please, please don't cry," I say, trying to pull her to me, but she pushes me away from her with her hands against my chest. She has a look of total exhaustion on her face.
"No Eric. I have cried over you enough. I waited so many nights thinking you would come back and make love to me, saying you were sorry and never wanted anything but me. But it never came," she snaps. I took a step back, taking in her broken spirit. It is because of me she is this way, not the free loving woman I had fallen in love with. "I don't want you anymore," she says coldly.
I shake my head. "You can't mean that Sookie. You love me. You know you do," I say, and she cries more.
"I will always love you Eric, but I won't go back to you. Not now, not anytime," she chokes out.
"Sookie, please..."
"No," she says, taking a step back. "You think because you made first, that everything is great now and you can have me back in your life. Eric, I want to come first in my man's life, and its clear I would never be that in yours."
I fall to my knees, touching my face to her thighs. I smell her sweet scent calling to me, a scent I will never get to taste again. She places her hand on my head. "Let me go Eric, let me go," she whispers to me and I can hear the tears in her eyes.
I choke on a sob, and let the tears fall freely from my eyes. I look up at her and she is begging me with her eyes. "I can't," I strain out and she starts crying harder. She takes a step back and looks at me with sad eyes.
"Then be ready for disappointment, cause this is one heart you won't win back," she says before walking off, leaving me in the mud, with the rain pelting on my face. I know I will do anything to get her back, and I am not going to waste anymore time. First thing tomorrow, I will begin to win back my love. Come hell or high water, she will be mine again.

2010-03-15T11:24:00.000-05:00

What Could Have Been

Halloween.
The one time of the year when the monsters come out and are real. I was holding an invitation that I was surprised to find in my mailbox three days ago. We hadn't spoken in so long, I was wondering if he ever thought of me anymore. We had a dispute, and it led to our parting ways over ten years ago. I never knew how much I needed him until it was too late. Soon enough, Eric became King of Louisiana when Felipe and Victor came up missing. I didn't ask questions, though I knew Eric had something to do with it. I never married, never had children. I led a quiet life, only disrupted when Pam would call me time to time for a job Eric wanted me to do. He would never call me on his own, and it hurt in ways I never knew possible. I clung to the memory of him, his kindness and love that came forth when he stayed with me those days in January. I never though of him now as the man that remembered our time together and wanted to build on it. He wanted a relationship with me, but I was too immature, and full of pride to see his true feelings. I was full of anger and hurt when I was tortured by those two fairies, and blamed him for the pain I felt. He never came to find me, and that stuck a chord with me. He had promised no harm would come to me, and that he would always protect me. When he tried to explain what kept him from me I all but spat in his face, telling him he didn't know what love was, and he wasn't welcome in my home after that. He called me an immature child, and I felt my blood boil.
"Eric, you are not a gentlemen," I had said.
He got up and walked towards the door, but not before turning around and looking me straight in the eyes.
"And you are no lady."
I regretted my words to him the moment they came out. He was using my favorite lines, from my favorite movie. I really didn't know how he remembered it, but he did. Those five words had me back-peddling and second-guessing all I had said to him. I was never able to tell him, as he was too busy to answer my phone calls, and according to Pam, I was the last person he wanted to see or speak to. So I decided to give him time, and hoped he would come around, but he never did. I looked at the invitation for the twentieth time since receiving it:

His Royal Majesty,

King Eric Northman

Requests your presence to attend

The Masquerade Ball

on:

Saturday, October 31, 2019

Costume Dress mandatory

No admittance if not properly attired

R.S.V.P

I sat there fingering the letter, unsure of what to do. Did this mean he wanted me to come, or was this some joke from Pam? I was torn, but in the end I signed the small accompanying note, and placed it in the mailbox, stating I would be attending. If I could see him, maybe he would give me another chance, a chance to win his heart back. I never noticed how empty my life was when he was gone and the bond between us hummed out. Without blood exchanges, it was dulling, and I could only make out his life force now, and that gave me comfort, knowing he was still alive somewhere. If he was happy, I could live with it, and move on. I have tried, but I needed to make sure this is what he wants as well. So I was with more resolve than ever, knowing exactly what I was going to wear, and hopefully it would be enough to win his heart.

~o0o~

Pam called me when she received the invitation, and I was silently praying it wasn't to tell me that it was an accident that I had got one at all.
"Hello, my dear telepath. How are you doing this fine night?" she asked, and I wondered why she was in such a good mood.
"I am well."
"That is good. I am calling about your invitation..."
"I sent off that I was coming, is that a problem," I said, and I couldn't hide the fear in my voice. She must have sensed it because she quickly responded.
"No. Sookie, you didn't reply with what your costume is. There was a section for it specificity, and you failed to fill it out."
"Oh. Well, I didn't know until a few days ago what I was going as," I answered her, and she sighed.
"Well, you must tell me so I can add it for you."
"Why? Is that a rule that you have to know?" I grumbled into the phone while opening my closet and looking at the red dress that hung inside.
"No, but if it has to be with you, then yes. It is a rule. Tell me so I can go about my business for the night," she remarked.
"I am going as Scarlett O'Hara, from Gone With the Wind," I replied, giving in. If there was one thing I knew about Pam, it was to just tell her. Otherwise she would be over here, demanding to see it herself.
"Oh then. I will see you there," she said, and was about to hang up the phone when I stopped her. "Yes?"
I bit my lip. "How is Eric doing?"
She was silent for a moment, and I could hear her walking from the way the wind sounded in the background. "He is...doing well. As the new King, he has been settling things the past years, but all is peaceful. At least for now."
"Oh, well then, that is good," I said. "Tell him I said hi, would you?"
"I will tell him," she said, then hung up the phone.
She must have gotten his cryptic ways when he became her maker.

~o0o~

Three nights later, I was dressed and ready to go to the ball. I had my hair pinned up part way, and the rest of it I curled at the ends, giving it the old southern style look. I attached the red bow onto the back of my hair and was happy with how it turned out. I applied a bit of make-up. Over the years, I had developed more lines on my face, but not so many that I seem older. I still looked like I did when I was 26, even though I could feel my age of almost 40 in my bones. The little bit of Eric's blood I had during the Fairy war, had helped me heal, along with helping me age easily.
I walked out of the bedroom after putting on my flat shoes, and grabbed my purse as I was going towards the front door. That was when I heard the knock. I wasn't expecting anyone, so I thought it might be Bill. We stayed friends over the years, and he was supposed to be at the party as well. I opened the door to find Pam standing on the other side.
"Pam, what are you doing here?" I asked her, and noticed when her face turned up into a bright smile. It was eerie seeing that look on Pam. Especially with her fangs running out.
"Hello my friend. You look positively...delectable," she purred and reached out, taking my hand in hers. That was when I saw the car in the driveway. It was a Bentley, and from my previous jobs, I knew it was one of Eric's cars.
"Thanks Pam. But you didn't need to come get me. I was planning on driving."
"I know. I wanted to see you, it has been too long," she said while gliding me into the car and closing the door behind me.
She went around the other side, and the driver took off quickly. It made me wonder if we were late for something.
"What are you dressed as Pam?"
"Can you not tell? I am Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz," she said shaking her head. I wasn't paying attention, but now that I saw her ruby red slippers, I knew that she was going for that look. The only problem was that her outfit was a hell of a lot tighter than the original Dorothy would have worn. In fact, her dress came up to her mid thigh, so it made her look as though she wasn't wearing a costume. I didn't say anything, but allowed her to think she was depicting the character correctly. I wasn't going to argue tonight. I wanted to enjoy myself, and feel like the lady I am.
When we pulled up to the front of the royal grounds I quickly put on my mask, and Pam tied the back for me so it would stay on. She put hers on as well, and we exited the car. Walking inside, you wouldn't have guessed that this was a vampire masquerade. There were different costumes all around, ranging from Tarzan to Star Wars. I would have thought they would have been caught dead before being seen wearing what they were. But I passed by, and nodded to the ones that approached me or moved so I could pass. I noticed Pam wasn't beside me anymore, and I continued on my path towards the bar in the corner. I ordered a Gin and Tonic, and left a tip in the jar for the bartender. When I turned around, there was a vampire making his way to my side. He was dressed as a cowboy. How original, I thought to myself, and knew who it was before he even spoke.
"Hello to you sweet lady," he said, taking my hand in his and kissing my palm.
"Hi Bill, how have you been?" I asked him as he released my hand.
"I have been fine. I got back two days ago from my trip to Nevada. How have you been?"
"I have been better," I said, and he nodded, knowing what I meant.
"I didn't expect to see you here."
"I didn't think I would be invited," I said quietly, and took a sip of my drink.
He looked as if he wanted to say something, but by that time, Pam had come over and linked her arm with mine. "There you are Sookie. Come with me, there is someone who wishes to see you."
Bill bowed to me, and Pam yanked me in the opposite direction of where Bill was, mumbling something about how he never gives up. We walked through the crowds, and I was shocked by what I saw before me.
There was Eric, dressed in the matching outfit to mine. He was dressed as my Rhett Butler, in the sexy suit I loved even in the movie. He was wearing black trousers with a gray vest, and a back-tail coat that came down to mid thigh for him. His mask was beautiful as well, and you could tell it was made for royalty. His hair was let loose and some of the strands fell over his mask in a good way, begging me to reach out and move them behind his ears. We took a few steps closer, and I stopped abruptly. Being this close to him after so long, it ached in my chest. I wanted him to hold me, but I was getting ahead of myself. Beside him was another woman, with her arm linked though his. She was younger than me for sure, and had blond hair and blue eyes. She was beautiful, and everything I could have been to him. He leaned down and whispered something in her ear, and I saw her shiver next to him and grip his arm tighter. Without thinking, I turned away and started walking towards the exit. When I got to the door, I felt an arm on my shoulder, holding me in place.
"Where are you going?" Pam asked, and turned me around to face her. I was struggling to keep the tears in place, and it wasn't working.
"Just let me go, please," I said to her, and she noticed how I was about to get weepy on her. She let me go, and sighed.
"Sookie, Eric wants to see you. He wants you to meet someone," she said softly, and I shook my head.
"It was a mistake coming here. He...it...oh, never mind. I am going home. Tell him I am sorry, but I am unwell," I said, and quickly turned and left before she could say anything further.
When I got to the valet, I remembered I didn't bring my car. I was silently cursing Pam as she appeared by my side. "Sookie..."
"Pam, can you get me a ride home, or do I need to call a taxi?"
She sighed once again, and shook her head. "You are not going anywhere."
I turned to look at her. "You cannot tell me what to do."
"I can and I will. You both are so blind. Sookie, go in there and get Eric back. He needs you, and you need him. The past ten years have been hell for everyone here, and it will get better if you would admit you are wrong and tell him you love him."
"I already tried, Pam. But he is engaged..."
She didn't deny it, but her face didn't confirm it either. I was lost, and didn't know what to think.
"Come inside for a while. If you want to leave in a hour, I will take you home myself," she said, and I nodded, knowing that was the best it was going to get.
We walked back in, and I looked around the room again, and saw Eric now standing against the far wall, and the woman was next to him, but they were no longer touching. She was standing to the side of him, but behind him. I walked over to the opposite side, and sat on the couch that wasn't occupied. If I had to stick it out for an hour, I would.
Twenty minutes and another drink later, I was still sitting down when the band started playing classical music. It was the time for the dancing to begin, and I had been looking forward to it all night. But now I didn't want to have any part in it. I saw the woman touch Eric's arm, and he excused himself from the others he was talking to, and took her out on the dance floor. I sat there and watched her laugh as he twirled her in the air. I remembered a time when he did the same to me – when I was his. How much I enjoyed his company, and the way he made me feel like I was the only one in the room. He looked so happy with her, and I couldn't bring myself to be in the way of his happiness. If that meant I would be without the one person I loved, then so be it. After so many years on the earth, he deserved more than my pettiness. When the song ended he placed her down on her feet, and the crowd clapped from their performance. It was then when he looked around at the different people, that his eyes stopped on me. I wasn't prepared at all, and I felt a rush of longing I hadn't felt in years. He was as beautiful as I had last seen him, and after a few minutes he was still staring at me. I had to remember to breathe, and when the young girl tapped him on the shoulder he looked down at her, and she smiled. I could tell she asked him what was wrong and he shook his head, and led her off the dance floor. I looked down at the drink in my hands, and felt like my heart had been crushed. Even after all these years, I still felt the way I did for him.
Pam came over after a short minute, and took the empty seat beside me.
"He wants to speak to you," she said quietly, and I looked up. Eric was standing there across the room, and his eyes were boring into mine. The woman wasn't around anymore, and I wondered where she went off to.
"Pam, it's been 45 minutes. Are you ready to take me home?" I asked her, turning my eyes away from his.
Pam didn't say a word, and I knew why. I felt him beside me before I heard his voice. "Sookie, is that you?"
I felt my throat dry up, and my head went light. I turned my head up to his, and saw him looking at me. He reached out a hand, and touched my cheek softly.
I gulped. "Hello Eric."
He looked over at Pam, and without a word she bowed and left. He came over and took a seat next to me, and leaned his elbows on his legs, his head tilted in my direction. "I am happy you came."
I smiled. "I am too," I whispered, and we sat there silently for a while, watching the other couples dance. "Where is your friend?"
He looked at me for a good while, and then took my hand in his. "I believe she went to the ladies room, to powder her nose." He chuckled at his words, and I felt the knot in my stomach curl. I wanted to reach out and tell him that I loved him, that I was a fool, but the words never came.
"I am happy for you Eric," I said softly, and he closed his eyes.
"If I knew you were coming, I would have made other arrangements"
"Do you love her?" I blurted without thinking.
He didn't say anything, just stood and held out his hand. "Come with me please."
I couldn't deny him. I stood and took hold of his hand in mine, and he led us out to the courtyard. It was peaceful and there was no one around. I took off my mask once outside, and he did the same. He still held my hand as he walked to the small garden area and sat on a bench. I sat next to him and he stroked my palm with his hand. I could feel the tingles run through my body, and I tamped it down. Eric always made me feel special, no matter what was between us.
"What made you finally come tonight?" he asked out of nowhere. The question surprised me.
"This is the first time you have invited me anywhere for the past ten years," I answered, and he gripped my hand.
"Are you telling me you never got the others? Including my coronation and Dracula nights?" he asked, and his voice was cold.
"No Eric. Otherwise I would had come," I said. "You always throw the nicest parties."
He stood abruptly, and starting pacing in front of me. He ran his fingers through his hair, and was mumbling in Swedish. I heard names being said, but I couldn't keep up.
"Eric, is something wrong?"
He stopped, and stared me down. His gaze was overpowering, and I couldn't look away. "Is something wrong? Why yes, something is. I thought over the years you ignored me, and to find out that you never got them, it makes me think otherwise. Why did you never receive the invitation?"
"Maybe someone forgot to mail one to me?" I asked, dumbfounded.
He shook his head. "No, I always hand wrote yours, and placed it in the outgoing mail myself," he said, and continued softly, "I always wanted you to come lover. I always wanted you to."
I felt tears spring to my eyes from his calling me something I hadn't heard in so long. He fell to his knees in front of me, and laid his head on my lap, wrapping his arms around my waist. "I thought all this time, that you really..."
"Me too Eric, me too," I said, and couldn't control the harsh sob that came from my lips. He looked up and took my face in his hands.
"Don't cry dear one, don't cry," he said while licking my tears away. His lips found mine only seconds later, and I cried as he tenderly kissed me. It had been too long that I had gone without his lips against mine, his hands on my skin. He was so gentle with his movements that I forgot all about time and where we were. It made me think of when we were together all those years ago, and how sweetly he kissed me, and how much he wanted me. He pulled back moments later, and looked in my eyes. I could see his age in them, all the years he had walked on the earth, but still encased in his youthful body. He would always look in his twenties, even if he were over 1000 years old. "I have missed you," he whispered against my cheek, placing a soft kiss there, then moving to the other one. "I have missed your face," he said, kissing down my cheekbone, to my ear. "I have missed your company," he said grazing his fangs against my neck. By this time I was incoherent. I wouldn't have known if the garden was on fire, or if we were under attack. All there was in the world was Eric telling me he missed me, and lighting the coals that had been burned out for so long. "I want you," he said, and I felt his fang scrape against my neck again, almost breaking the skin there. That was when I came to. I pulled away from him, but he kept his hold on my waist.
"Eric, you are with that woman. I am not..."
He raised his hand to my lips to silence me. "She is merely an escort for the King. I chose her to stand by me this evening," he said, and leaned in to kiss me.
His lips connected with mine again, and this time I moaned into his mouth as I opened my lips to taste him. He tasted as he always did, as my Eric. His hands griped me harder and he let out a strangled groan as our kiss turned from softness, to full on passion. If I didn't have my wits about me, he would have taken me right there in the garden.
I pushed him off of me, but he wouldn't budge. "No, Eric, no. We cannot do this," I said, struggling to keep my voice firm, but failing. It didn't stop him, he merely moved from my lips down my neck. I felt the heat rise in my body, and I pushed my hands flat on his chest. "No!" I said breathlessly, and he pulled back this time, but not too much. His face was still close to mine, and he had a hungry look in his eyes.
"You cannot run from me anymore Sookie," he said, and pulled me into his arms.
I struggled against his embrace. "No, don't hold me like that," I said, trying to get him off of me, but he wouldn't loosen up. He held me tighter.
"Sookie," he barked out, "look at me!" I looked up into his eyes. "I've loved you more than I've ever loved any woman, and I've waited for you longer than I've ever waited for any woman," he confessed, and I felt my knees going weak. "I'm not asking you to forgive me for ignoring you all those times you called. I'll never understand or forgive myself for not calling you back, or simply going to see you." I felt my heart break with his words. The knife that was plunged in my heart for the past ten years was slowly being pulled out, and while it hurt like hell, there was a feeling of relief that came with it. "I will never know if what we had so long ago would have worked out that night we fought, and never made peace, but there's one thing I do know... and that is that I love you, Sookie. In spite of you and me and the whole silly world going to pieces around us, I love you. Because we're alike. Bad lots, both of us. Selfish and shrewd. But able to look things in the eyes as we call them by their right names," he whispered against my lips, and I was gulping for the air around me, but it wasn't coming in fast enough.
"Eric..." I started, but he cut me off.
"Here is the King of Louisiana, who loves you, Sookie. Wants to feel your arms around him, wants to carry the memory of your kisses through eternity with him," he said, brushing his lips against mine. "Sookie! Kiss me! Kiss me..." and that is what I did. I put all I had into this kiss, and then some. Hearing him say he loved me and no other, it all came crashing down on me, and I had to get close to him, and fast. Without a protest he picked me up, just like Rhett did in the movie to his Scarlett, and carried me into the back of his large home. The party was still in full swing, but I could feel Eric had other things on his mind. I leaned in and kissed his face, and down his neck. I heard him growl into my ear, and I felt wind whoosh around us. Next thing I knew, I was being tossed on the bed, and he was locking the door. I noticed we were in a windowless room, and it was very dark, until Eric turned on the lights. He slowly started taking off his gray vest and shirt, tossing them on the floor as he shucked out of his boots.
"Eric..."
"Shh, my love," he said as he took off his trousers, and freed his massive erection. I took a moment to take in his body, his beautiful unchanged body, and wondered what I ever did to deserve his love. "Let me take care of you." Without further words, he came over to the bed, and sat me up on the edge. Slowly, he undid the bow in my hair and set the ribbon on the bed stand, and reached behind me to unbutton my dress. When he got the first ten undone, my breasts were exposed, and his eyes glazed over, taking them in for the first time in over ten years. I wonder if he was repulsed by what he saw, seeing as they were not as perky as he may have remembered. "Still the most beautiful breasts I have ever seen," he whispered as he took one of my nipples into his mouth. I gasped at the feel of his cool lips and tongue working both of them over, until they were sore and claimed by him. My center was now begging for attention as he got the rest of the buttons undone and pulled it completely off of me. I was standing there in my red lace matching underwear set I had bought to go with the costume, and he was staring at me as a man that was starving. He undid my bra and ripped off my panties before I could say another word.
Gently he laid me back on the bed, and covered my body with his, and slowly and tenderly began to kiss me. I was about to burst from the pace he was keeping. I hadn't had sex since I last saw him, and I was horny as hell. And when Eric kissed you, you were sure to be on fire, and the only way to scorch the heat was for him to give you release. He seemed to understand somehow, because his hand went down between my legs, and his fingers went to my slick folds. He felt how wet I was for him, and how ready. "Sookie, so wet...for me," he grunted out between kisses. I struggled to catch my breath as his lips moved to my neck and I felt his fangs scraping against my skin. "Wrap your legs around me, dear one," he huskily said, and I complied. It had been so long since we had last made love, but he seemed to understand. Either that, or he wanted to take his time with me, and savor what this night meant to us, the rejoining of our souls on a whole other level.
"I want you to drink from me," he spoke against my lips, and I grunted, not really sure if I wanted to deny him anything from this point forward. He placed himself at my entrance, and in one swift move, he filled me completely. It was also in that moment that I came, and shuddered under his body. His face turned up into a devious smirk, and he kissed my lips softly.
"Be easy on me...I am...I haven't," I said, and his eyes softened.
"I promise," he said, and started to move in me. The sensations he caused in my body as we rocked back and forth in a slow pace were incredible. Everything that he made me feel was something that I would never take for granted again. We kept at it for several minutes, and it got to the point that it felt like it had been hours of him slowly rocking in me, and our lips caressing the others. We were making love, that was for sure.
I pushed on his hip a little with my leg, and he turned over so he was sitting up against the headboard, never disconnecting with me. His hands on my hips and our mouths still dancing, I wondered how I was breathing from all the activity. I slowly started to rise and fall on his cock, and I felt him dig his fingers into my hips. I picked up the pace, and our kisses became more urgent, and the grunts and moans became louder. I grabbed one of his hands from my waist and brought it to my mouth, and bit down as hard as I could. He did the same with my own hand and soon we were drinking each other's essence and I felt my climax coming faster. Eric released my wrist, took a firm hold on my hips, and began to thrust into me. Within a moment, we came, screaming each other's names, and I collapsed on his chest. He moved me from off his body to the side of him, and held me close. I felt the bond between us flare to life, and I shivered in his arms.
"Are you cold my love?" he asked, and pulled the blanket up over our bodies. I snuggled up closer to him and nuzzled his neck, taking in his scent.
"No, I am perfect," I said sleepily, and I felt his chest rumble under me. "I love you Eric."
"I am never letting you go, lover. You are mine, always," he simply answered, and I knew what he said was true. I felt it, and I wouldn't run from it anymore, I was his, and this was my life now, as it should have been from the beginning.

2010-03-15T11:03:00.003-05:00

Grasping At Impossible
Chapter 17:

Sleeping next to Sookie… there was no way to describe it. She was my Valhalla, the very embodiment of my happiness. Having her with me was something I wasn't going to take for granted. My fear from the night before was that she wasn't going to be there when I woke. So of course when I reached for her, my eyes still closed, I wasn't surprised to find her not in my bed. Worry lanced through my body and I wondered if she did leave, and hadn't given me a proper goodbye. Before I made a move to get out of bed, I heard the water turn on in the bathroom. She was washing her hands.
I sunk back into my pillow, the tension and concern leaving my body almost instantly. The way she affected me wasn't good, and I almost hated it. I couldn't have a woman making me feel so weak. Thinking of her leaving me, and not coming back was enough to drive me insane. Well, almost. If she left and said she hated me, I think that would have been worse.
Good way of thinking, I chastised my emo thoughts. What the hell had come over me lately? Did this small woman really ignite so much change into my behavior? I was seeing little things, things that no other person was able to penetrate in me. But she did, she went past my walls and got into my heart. She was the one that I would always belong to now. I could only hope it was the same feeling for her.
I heard the water shut off, so I closed my eyes and felt the bed shift, signaling to me that she was back next to me. I felt her hand come up and touch my face, and a small sigh escaped her lips.
"Eric?" she whispered softly.
"Hmm?" I mumbled.
"Are you awake?"
I opened my eyes to see her, her face flushed, and bright. She was well rested now, and gave me a small smile.
"Morning," she said, leaning in and kissing my lips softly. I didn't make a move to pull her to me. I wanted her to be the one to initiate whatever she wanted. I was happy now to simply have her with me, and not angry from yesterday.
"Morning love."
She blushed at my words, and that was when I noticed she wasn't wearing anything that I could see. I wondered if she was wearing any panties. She scooted closer to me, holding the sheet over her breasts that were barely peeking over the cloth. I wrapped a hand over her waist above the covers, showing that I wasn't going to force her into anything. But I was openly cheering in my mind. Why else would she get into bed naked...
"I wanted to..." she said, biting her lip. I leaned down and brushed my lips against hers, hoping she would say what I wanted to hear.
"You wanted to what my Sookie?"
"I'm ready for you Eric, I am," she whispered, her hands coming up and lacing into my hair, tugging my face down to hers as I rolled on top of her.
"I turned off my phone," she said after I finally released her from the kiss, trailing my lips down her jawline and neck. For that, I was so fucking grateful. God forbid anyone or anything try to interrupt this morning with Sookie. If they did, they would no longer be breathing, and dealing with my wrath. I didn't care if someone's arm was cut off and bleeding, nothing was going to stop me from making love to Sookie, not this time.
"That is good," I said. She looked nervous, so I set out to make her feel at ease. "Sookie, if you're not ready," I started to say, even though the other part of me, the part in my sweats, was ready to revolt. I needed her, but knowing I loved her now, I wasn't going to rush her. She needed to know I was in this for the long run.
"I am."
Her hands went down to my sweats and pushed them over my hips, her feet tugging them off the rest of the way. I continued kissing her, loving the fact she was already naked and under me. I had wanted her this way for so long. Once my cock was released, she started pulling my shirt up off my back, and I obliged, helping her get it over my head. Now we were both naked, nothing between us.
Kissing her shoulder, and up to her neck, I said, "Are you sure my Sookie?" I continued kissing down her collarbone, and her hands went up, resting on my shoulders.
"I want you Eric, I do."
Wordlessly, I trailed kisses down her shoulders to her collarbone, dragging my tongue down to where her soft breasts were waiting for my attentions. "Beautiful," I whispered, taking a nipple into my mouth, swirling my tongue along her now hardened nub.
"Oh Eric," she said, her hands lacing into my hair, pulling me closer to her chest. I nipped and suckled, before turning to the next one, and paying equal homage to them both. When she was panting I allowed my hands to move between her thighs. She was so wet.
"So wet Sookie," I said, slipping a finger into her. "So tight," I said as she moaned, bucking into my hand. She was more than ready for me, but I continued, wanting to make sure she was stretched enough to accommodate my size. When she starting grinding herself into my hand I took my finger out, and pushed her gently back on the bed, lowering my head between her thighs without warning. Her essence was something I would never tire of, tasting something so sweet and pure. She was like nothing on this earth, and there could never be another like her. Pushing two fingers into her, I went to work on her clit, sucking and licking her lazily. She moaned and cried out as I pushed three fingers into her, wondering why she was so tight. Shit, the girl felt so good around my fingers, and I couldn't wait to see how she felt with the rest of me in her.
When I finally brought her to release she lay quivering, and panting for air. I crawled back over her, kissing my way over her soft curves until I was on top of her, holding my weight on my elbows. My erection was aching to be inside her, feeling the pulse of it against her wet sex, begging for release.
"Sookie, my love, are you-" she didn't let me finish as she connected her lips with mine, showing me the passion she felt for me through touch.
"Make love to me Eric, make love to me," she whispered against my lips.
And that was exactly what I was going to do. I raised her hips, placing my cock at her entrance watching as her eyes closed. I didn't move forward, wondering why she wouldn't look at me.
"Open your eyes love," I said, and she did, though she looked unsure. I sat up, feeling my cock fall to the side, away from her inviting heat. "What is it?"
Tears started to form in her eyes. I started to move away from her, but she grabbed me by the shoulders, keeping me in place. "No Eric, stay. Please, stay."
I rested back on her, and placed my hands on either side of her face. "What is it Sookie? Did I hurt you? Are you unsure?"
She shook her head, and took a deep breath. "Eric, be easy on me, please."
"Sookie, I will always be easy with you," I cooed to her, and she shook her head again.
"No Eric, I mean, eh, please go easy on me," she said, blushing and looking towards the windows. "It's my first time."
"Really?" I asked incredulously. I couldn't believe that a woman as beautiful as Sookie was still a virgin. She was kind, smart, everything a man wanted. I quickly remembered all that she had said to me from the days we spent together getting to know each other. How much she said she had been saving herself. Why she was happy we didn't do it in Brazil was now making more sense. She was a virgin, and I had been so stupid and caught up in trying to get laid that I didn't pick up on it at the time.
She scoffed at my words. "Not everyone is a horn-dog, Eric!" I could tell she was quickly getting out of the mood, so I went to set this right.
"I didn't mean anything by it Sookie. You are such a catch, I can't see a man not wanting to be with you."
"Oh they have wanted me, but I was too busy. I was always traveling, always on the go. I didn't have time for a relationship. And like I said, I am not a one-time kind of girl. I wanted the first time to mean something, so I put this on hold until it came," she said, her words getting softer. Her hand snaked down and rested on my straining erection. I would be lying if the prospect of being the first man she was with wasn't thrilling.
I would be the first and last, I silently told myself.
I leaned down and kissed her lips softly. "I am honored you give it to me Sookie, something you hold so dear."
She placed both her hands on my cheeks. "I can only give it to someone that... that I love."
Not saying another word, I leaned down and took her lips into a heated kiss, relishing the taste that was all Sookie. She had a minty taste, but that was from the toothpaste this morning. She moaned into my mouth, and minutes later she was more than ready. I released her lips, positioning myself at her entrance, looking at her face, as she gave me a silent communication that this was what she wanted.
I pushed forward, feeling her tight walls contract around me, trying to make room for the thickness to come. She gasped, digging her nails into my forearms. I stopped, knowing I had quite a way to go, but waited until she was ready to proceed. After a few moments, I felt her body relax around me and I kissed her lips softly while pushing in deeper. She moaned in pain and pleasure. It was a highly erotic sound.
I stopped kissing her once I was all the way in and saw her cheeks flooding with tears. I leaned down and licked them away, telling her I loved her with each stoke of my tongue. When she started to move her hips against mine I took that as my cue she was ready to take on the more intense lovemaking. At first, it would have to be slow until she got used to it. I was larger than most, and many woman couldn't handle me.
I took slow, steady strokes, enjoying the feel of her walls around my cock. She was so warm, so slick. After a few minutes she was meeting me thrust for thrust and I could feel her walls starting to clench. My release wasn't far behind, and with a final thrust she came, screaming out my name, her face tightening into a mixture of lust and satisfaction. I loved the way she looked, and it made me come that much harder.
After we were done, I went into the bathroom, grabbing a wet cloth to clean her up with. In my stupidity I had forgotten to use a condom. I figured I would tell her about it later. I didn't know if that was what she wanted or not, but either way I would let her know. She had to trust me in every aspect of our relationship for this to work. I could have lost her, and if that had happened it would have crushed me, I was sure.
I crawled back into bed with her, happy to see her face had the "I have just been fucked by Eric Northman" glow all over it. It made me feel good that I had that effect on Sookie too. Even though I would never see this look on another girl, she was the only one I wanted to see it on.
"Oh wow, Eric...oh god!" she panted next to me. I laughed, taking in her appearance.
"There is more where that came from," I said, taking her hand in mine and lowering it down to my now hardened member. "Look at what you do to me."
She gasped then curled her fingers around me, stroking me a few times, before moving to straddle my hips. The look in her eyes almost took my breath away. She gazed at me tenderly, her hands roaming on my chest.
"I love you Eric," she said, leaning down and kissing me. "I love you so much."
"Show me," I whispered against her lips, so happy that she'd admitted it.
And she did just that. Her folds gently parted around my cock as she slowly grinded back and forth against me. I let out a groan, and the sat up, taking the tip of my erection into her center. Lowering herself, she closed her eyes, taking in my length until her pelvis connected with mine. I had never filled a woman so much before, and Sookie seemed to be made for me.
"Oh Eric," she said, and I moved to sit up against the headboard, my hands on her hips so I wouldn't be dislodged from her.
She started to move once again, alternating between twirling her hips and riding me. She wasn't experienced, so she had to get the feel of what was best for her. I was more than happy to let her have her way with me.
Leaning forward and kissing each breast, I gave her a hooded look. "That's it Sookie, ride me my love." She moaned from my words, throwing her head back as her pace quickened. I wanted her to go slower, but if this was what she wanted I wasn't going to stop her. I could feel my release coming quickly as she rose and fell against me. I reached between us, pressing my thumb against her clit hard. She let out a harsh sob, crying out my name as I felt her walls clench around me. Her eyes connected with mine as she slowly began riding me again, knowing I hadn't came yet.
With my hands on her hips, I thrust into her mercilessly. I had to come, and seeing her eyes grow wide at the sensations I was giving her was a glorious sight. Her breasts bouncing with every move I made, her supple curves moving with every movement of her hips. My life would never be the same, her body would always be what I craved, what I needed.
As Sookie came again I let out a groan, allowing myself to come as well. She fell forward on my chest as I felt her still clenching her tight muscles around me.
"I love you, Eric," she said breathlessly, her face buried into the crook of my neck.
"And I you, dear one," I whispered, my hands going up to her spine, lightly touching her back as she regained composure after her orgasm.
"I never knew it would be like this," she said, kissing my chest.
"Like what?"
She pulled back, looking me in the eyes with a soft look. "Being with you."
"I am a good lover, but only you will get the benefits from it now."
"I think that is best."
I chuckled. "Oh yea?" I said waggling my eyebrows.
"Yes," she said, poking me in the chest. "I am the only one, remember that."
"How could I forget?" I murmured, kissing her collarbone. My once softened erection came to life in her, and she gasped from the feel of me filling her once again.
"Please Eric," she said, and I wasn't sure if I had heard right. She wanted more? "Please, let me rest." I was getting worried that she was going to make herself sore from all this activity. I had caused her to bleed, that much I knew when I wiped her up moments before.
"I think that is best," I said, pulling out of her, and watching her wince. "Are you alright love?"
"I will be."
I held my hand out for hers, and she looked at me confused. "I will run you a bath."
Her eyes softened and she stood from the bed, her hand in mine.
I never thought I would find someone who would heal the hole in my heart, who would fill that place that had been denied to me for so long. True, it was my fault that I wouldn't get close to women, but truth in turn, I had never met anyone like Sookie before.
She was my Valhalla, and I was finally home.

~The End~

2010-03-15T11:02:00.003-05:00

Grasping At Impossible
Chapter 16:

"What the hell is going on?" I heard Sookie yell from the doorway. I wondered briefly if she heard what I had just said. It wasn't an ideal way for her to find out I was in love with her, but considering the circumstances, I would say it might work to my benefit.
Sookie took another step into the office, and I remembered the girl on my lap. Placing my hands on her hips, I helped her off of me. She bounced and almost fell onto my chest. I risked a glace at Sookie, who's eyes were no longer about to shed tears, but were boring into the spot my hands were on Cara's body. I held my hands up, watching as Cara got up giggling, and zipped her dress up quickly. She came over to me and kissed my cheek while Sookie stood in the middle of the office with her arms crossed over her chest. I wondered if I would be getting out of there alive.
"I hope your girlfriend makes you happy Eric," she whispered, nodding to Sookie as she walked out the door past Bill. He staring at Sookie as she stood before me.
"Shut the door Bill," I said, not turning my eyes to her just yet. I had to figure out my game plan before I said anything. What was there to say? I let things get out of control. She could hate me, and even leave me for this. I wouldn't blame her if she did. If I had walked in on her sitting on a naked mans lap, I would have gotten upset as well. But surely she would listen to me, let me explain.
My eyes connected with hers, and I could see the fire burning in them. "Sookie, I-" was all I got out, before she crossed the room in lightning speed, and connected her hand with my cheek.
"No, Eric Northman, you don't get a chance to speak," she snapped. "For once you will listen to me!" I nodded, bracing myself for her comments. Whatever she had to get out, I would listen to. "I don't know what to think about you anymore," she said as she started pacing the room. "One minute I am head over heels for you, the next I hate you." She came up to me and poked her finger in my chest, something I hated. She knew it, but I didn't stop her. "You," she said digging her finger in more, "you are so much trouble. Sometimes I wish I never met you."
I closed my eyes, telling myself that she was only telling me this because of what she had just seen, and that she obviously didn't hear what I said. I loved her, and she needed to know it. "Sookie, I-" I tried again, and she growled at me.
"Don't Eric. You don't have to explain yourself, or your actions," she said, finally defeated. She sunk down on the couch and I turned my body towards her. She had her elbows on her knees and her face in her hands. I hated that she was hurting from what she saw, but she had to know I didn't do anything.
"Sookie, I didn't do anything," I whispered, and heard a sob escape her lips. I scooted closer to her, placing an arm around her shoulder, which she tried to shrug off.
"It doesn't matter anymore Eric." Without another glance at me she was out the door, walking out of my life. I couldn't let her go, not after all I realized. I came up behind her, grabbing her arm, forcing her to look at me.
"Don't go, Sookie. I want to talk to you," I said, as she jerked her arm free of my grip. I understood why she was acting like this, but it still hurt that she didn't want to listen to me.
"Just leave me alone," she said, her eyes shedding the tears that I had caused. It was starting to form an ache in my chest as I watched her beautiful face become red and puffy from crying.
"I can't Sookie, please," I pleaded with her. "Let me talk to you." She seemed to think it over before giving me a small nod.
"Not here," was all she said as she walked towards the front door. Bill came over to my side and handed me my jacket from my office. I followed after her as fast as I could. She was standing by my Impala, looking more defeated by the second.
I opened the car door, and she got in. Walking around the car, I had to give myself a pep talk, trying to convince myself that I wouldn't lose her. I couldn't. And the fact that it could happen… it scared me, especially now that I knew what she was to me. I started the car and stole a glace at her. She was looking out the window, not paying any attention to me. She had stopped crying, and I was happy for that. A crying Sookie was not something I enjoyed seeing.
We pulled up to my house, and she didn't make a move to get out of the car. Neither did I for that matter. Whatever she wanted, however she wanted to talk, I was going for it. I couldn't let my pride get in the way with her, not anymore. I once thought the great Eric Northman had no weaknesses, nothing could make him second-guess himself. Strange how much that changed in the course of a few weeks.
We sat there for, minutes, hours, days? It all felt the same when Sookie wasn't in my arms, smiling. Her pain was what I felt ten times over. Especially since I was the cause of it.
"I trusted you," was what she said first. She was going off this. I remembered what I promised her, that I wouldn't touch or be with another woman as long as we were dating. It was ridiculous that I did, but alas, I wanted her. Now my connection to her was so much more than what I thought it could turn into.
"I know," was all I could say. How could I tell her that I had a moment of weakness, one that I should have known better for, but because of it, I was grateful. It was going to be hard to get that through her head. "I discovered something though," I added, hoping she took the bait.
She sighed, opening the car door, and I had no other option but to follow suit. She walked up to the front door, and I unlocked it, watching as she went inside and back into the guest bathroom. I guessed Sookie wanted to get cleaned up, and blow her nose. She was looking a little unkempt from all the crying.
Sookie came out of the bathroom a few minutes later looking a little better, but her face was still puffy. She sat next to me, and leaned back on the couch. I could tell she was tired still from all the events that had happened in her life for the past week. Losing her Gran, her friend, and now she must think she lost me.
Silence stretched on between us, and I could tell she wasn't going to talk. I sighed, running a hand through my hair, as I did when I was nervous, and took the plunge. "Sookie, please talk to me."
"What do you want me to say?" she asked, her eyes connecting to mine with fire behind them. "You made your choice Eric."
"What choice?"
"You chose to touch that ho on your lap."
I was growing angry at her tone, though I had no right to. She was the one that was hurt by me, not the other way around. "I didn't do anything with her, Sookie. Why won't you believe me?"
"How am I supposed to?" she said, her eyes brimming with tears again. She started playing with her fingers, her eyes on her hands. "You are all about the ladies. I knew this when I agreed to start this with you, but I didn't know you would revert back to what you were before."
"In my defense," I said, letting my anger get the better of me, "you can't keep telling a man no after you get him so worked up." I knew it was uncalled for, seeing I had no regrets over her touching me then leaving me with blue-balls, but seriously, you have to throw a guy a fucking bone sometimes. Her eyes shot up to mine, and her tears dried up.
"Don't you start that, Eric. You yourself said you wanted what was happening between us. You told me that I was the only one, but you are nothing but a liar."
I wanted to kick her out of my house, but the small voice hiding somewhere in my brain told me that she was right. I was the one that did this, I was the one that wanted it. I encouraged any form of touching or kissing that I could with Sookie. Anything I would take, since she had yet to give me what I truly wanted.
"I am sorry Sookie," I said, after my anger abated. "But in a way I am thankful it happened." I wanted to find a way to tell her I loved her. Now that I knew I had to share it with her.
She rolled her eyes. "Of course you do, you're a man."
I ignored her jab at me. "Do you not want to know what it was?"
She didn't of course, and decided to ignore me and my attempts to take her mind off what happened. "It doesn't matter anymore," she said, her lower lip quivering.
"What do you mean?" I asked, feeling her body tense beside me.
"It's over Eric. My Gran is dead, and I have to get back to work," she said, her voice breaking. "I knew this," she waved a hand between us, "wouldn't last, so it's fine."
I was off the couch and on my knees in front of her in a flash. My body wedged between her legs, and my hands griping hers tightly.
"Sookie, you don't mean that," I pleaded with her, but I could see the determination in her eyes.
"What did you think would happen? I would stay here with you?" she said, tears forming in her eyes. I never felt my heart break more than in that moment. I hated making her feel that way, being the cause of pain and grief in her life. She had dealt with so much lately that I wanted to shield her from anymore upset that could come in her life.
"I thought we could be together, Sookie." I cupped her face with my hands. "I need you in my life."
She cried again, and I pulled her into my arms, relieved that she hugged me back. "I can't take it if you cheat on me Eric," she said, her voice muffled in my shirt. I pulled her back so I could see her face.
"I didn't do anything. I promise. I realized something...before you came in..." If she wasn't going to come out and ask me, I was going to have to make her see. Make her listen to me.
"What?" she asked. "That women like taking their clothes off for you?"
I laughed at that, kissing her hair. "You are so entertaining Sookie, but no," I replied, tilting her face up, her eyes connecting with mine. "I realized how much I need you, how much I-" I stopped talking, and actually gulped. I could feel the sweat starting to form on my face, being so nervous about actually saying this to someone.
"How much you what Eric?" she asked softly, looking up at me through her long eyelashes. I reached out and touched her cheek tenderly.
"How much...I love you," I said, and she gave me a smile.
"You love me?"
I leaned in closer, capturing her lips with mine, slowly and sweetly tasting the softness and delicious taste that was all Sookie. "Yes," I whispered, brushing my lips along her cheeks. Her eyelids fluttered against my cheek as I continued trailing kisses all over her face.
"Where do we go from here?" she asked breathlessly, her face now flushed from our kissing.
"I want to show you how much I care for you, if you will let me," I whispered against her jawline, and she moaned when my hands found her breast.
She pushed back from my touch a moment later, her face turning hard. Oh yeah, what happened earlier wouldn't exactly put her in the mood. As much as I wanted her, I knew she wasn't at all ready for it. I could prove to her that I was the man she needed, that I could be what she wanted.
"Eric, I-" she started to say, but I brushed my lips against hers, quickly, happy when she kissed me back for a few seconds, before I pulled back.
"I want you to trust me Sookie, do you trust me?" I asked in earnest. I wanted her to, and I would be lying if I said I wasn't hoping she forgave me quickly over what had happened in the office at my club.
"I'm sorry Eric," she said, her bottom lip being clamped down between her teeth. She didn't want to say she didn't trust me, but I could feel it rippling off her. The tension between us was starting to come back.
"It's okay Sookie," I said, taking her into my arms, wanting to comfort her. If I had been stronger, and not have fucked up, we would be together right now, as we should have been at the beginning. "I have forever to gain your trust, my love."
She sighed and melted into my arms. After a few moments, I pulled back and went over to my dresser, pulling out a t-shirt of mine and a pair of boxers, remembering that she liked to wear them when she was here. Normally I would have refrained from handing her the boxers, looking at it as easy access but I wanted her to know that I was willing to wait for her, no matter what was going on in my pants. Before, it was all about getting her to yield to me, but now that I knew I loved her, it was all different. I found myself wanting her approval, wanting her to be the one to come to me and want me as much as I was needing her.
"Here you go love," I said, handing her the clothes and she gave me an appreciative smile. "Go ahead and get changed, and I'll be in the living room if you need me."
Her brow furrowed, confusion apparent on her face. "What do you mean living room? It's getting late Eric."
I reached out, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. She leaned into my hand, and the comfort that she got from my touch made me smile. "I want you to have the bed, I'll sleep on the couch."
She cocked an eyebrow. "I still don't understand. Why are you sleeping on the couch?"
"I want you to have your space tonight. I know you are still upset with me, so I will take the couch, and you can have the bed."
Her face blushed over a delectable soft pink, and she shook her head. "I don't want you on the couch, I want you to hold me tonight."
"Are you sure? I can sleep on the couch."
She nodded. "I am sure. I'll be right back." She kissed my cheek, and closed the bathroom door behind her.
I sighed, unbuckling my pants and shirt, throwing them across the room by the hamper before walking over to my drawer and grabbing a pair of sweats. I pulled out a tank top too, and slipped it on. I had never slept with this much clothing on in my life, but I wanted her to know that this wasn't all about sex for me anymore. It was about her. About my feelings for her, how much she means to me.
I went over to the bed, turning my phone on silent before turning the covers down and crawling into bed. A few minutes later, she emerged from the bathroom, her hair brushed, her body covered in my clothes. I was a lot bigger than her, and my shirt came down almost to her knees. She slipped into the bed, and faced away from me. After a few minutes she let out a sigh.
"Eric, hold me please," she whispered. Immediately I scooted closer to her, spooning her from behind. My hand rested on her hip, while the other went up, resting under her pillow. She seemed content with this. I could feel her breathing start to even out, but she wasn't sleeping.
"Sookie?"
"Yes?"
I kissed the spot behind her ear, enjoying the slight shiver that went through her body.
"I was telling the truth earlier. I do love you."
"I know."
I wanted to hear her say it back, more than anything. To know that the woman you love feels the same must have been something incredible, but she still hadn't said anything.
"Sookie?"
"Hmm?"
"I'm not going anywhere."
Her hand came up and rested on the one on her hip. Squeezing my hand three times, she said, "And neither am I."

2010-03-15T11:01:00.002-05:00

Grasping At Impossible
Chapter 15:

Sookie stayed at my house for three days, her body warm and building towards mine. It took a lot to keep my distance and allow her the grieving period she needed since losing her Gran. I would hold her and be there for her, helping her along and making sure she never wanted for anything. Today when she woke, she was smiling more, and I could tell she was feeling better. Having her in my arms and in my bed was something I couldn't describe. I had heard stories of being content and happy with one's bed partner, but I didn't know that it could feel like this. Her being in my bed with me did things to me that I couldn't explain.
I leaned over and placed a soft kiss on her cheek as her eyes filled with the brightness of the sun coming through the side windows. "Morning my lover," I whispered, enjoying the sight of her growing smile and blush creeping into her cheeks.
"Morning," she said back as she sighed. I pulled her closer to me, our legs entwining. She wasn't wearing anything but my shirt from last night, the same thing she had been wearing for the past few days. I had forgotten to get her any clothing, and I didn't disagree with the sight of her wearing my shirts. It made her belong to me that much more. "I want to thank you Eric."
"For what?" I asked her, running my hands over the soft curve of her back. The tension that was once there evaded her body as she sunk her worries away.
"For helping me the past few days," she said, "for being here. Letting me stay with you." I leaned down and captured her lips with mine, giving her a soft, needy, yet tender kiss. I continued at a slow pace until she giggled a little, pushing on my chest with her palms gently.
"How thankful are you?" I asked her, moving instead to her neck, and placing sweet kisses along her pulse point.
She huffed, then moaned when I nipped at her ear. "Just because I am thankful doesn't mean I want to have sex with you."
I chuckled against her skin. "I don't care why you have sex with me, just as long as you do," I quipped back before taking all of her delicious mouth with my own.
Her body moved against mine as our lips and tongues dueled, trying to get the upper hand. After a while she gave up and simply allowed my tongue to curl around hers as my hands dipped down her sides, grazing against her soft breasts and down to the edge of the shirt, that I now wanted off her body. I snaked my hand down between her thighs and quickly found her clit with my thumb, while inserting a finger into her slick heat.
She let out a gasp, feeling a part of me enter her without her knowing it was coming, then pulled me closer to her as she began bucking into my hand, riding me the way she was intended to. She whimpered and moaned as I inserted another finger and began to rub harder against her bundle of nerves, trying to get her some release so she would be able to get through the day. I myself could have used the same thing, but I wasn't going to be selfish when it came to her. She deserved so much more, and when she was ready for me, I would be waiting.
Sookie arched herself once again into my hand, her fingernails digging into my forearms as I continued pumping my fingers into her. I could feel that she was close, and she let me know herself. "Oh, God Eric, so Close!" she moaned against my lips. I knew she was about to come undone, so I quickly pulled her shirt up, taking one of her nipples into my mouth and bit down, giving her enough pain to bring the pleasure that much faster. She came, screaming my name, her hands fisting themselves in my hair as her body shook with the release that allowed her to relax that much more. She continued jerking a little as I removed my fingers, and groaned at their absence.
"All you have to do is ask, my Sookie," I said while kissing her jawline, hoping she would say yes. The raging hard on in my pants was becoming increasingly difficult to deal with, especially when she was allowed a release and I still hadn't.
Her reaction was immediate, wrapping her legs around me, kissing my lips. Her wetness was rubbing against my boxers and soaking through the fabric. "Oh Eric," she moaned, her hand snaking between us into my boxers and stroking my cock. I groaned into her mouth as she pulled me free from the fabric, and pushed them down to my ankles with her feet. Her wetness was so close to my cock, and I could feel it warm against me.
"I need you Sookie, I need you," I whispered against her lips as she moved to place me at her entrance. Just as I was about to push forward, her phone started ringing.
I don't know what you've done to me,

But I know this much is true:

I wanna do bad things with you.

I wanna do real bad things with you.
"Shit," she said, moving slightly as I felt my cock lose the warmth that was it was so close to penetrating. "Sorry," she said sheepishly as I rolled onto my back, and she answered her phone. After a few 'yes, yes, I will be there's,' I got the feeling she was soon leaving my bed, again, before I got what I have been wanting.
When she turned and looked at me, I gave her a forced smile and she sighed, dragging her hand down the front of my chest. "I need you Eric, I really do. But," she said, and I knew there was a but in there somewhere, there always was with her, "I need to go pick up Pam at the airport."
I nodded that I understood, and gave her a peck on the lips. "I understand, dear one. Perhaps another time," I said, and her eyes hooded over. I could practically see the lust pouring out from them.
"I'll be back later," she purred, pressing the length of her body along mine, while moving to get off the bed. "And I will be ready for you then too."
I groaned as she got up off the bed, walking into the bathroom to take a quick shower. I went into my closet, after forcing myself out of bed, to get her a pair of my gym shorts (the only ones that would fit her) and also one of my older t-shirts from the back of the stack. I smiled since it conveniently had my name printed on the back from my days in high school. I figured she would fit into this size shirt better than my current ones, since the ones she has been wearing to bed were down to her knees.
I knocked on the door and opened it to an already dried off Sookie, fresh from the shower. She didn't wash her hair since she was in a hurry, and gratefully took the clothes I had in my hands.
"Next time I come over, I am bringing some of my clothes," she said absently while casually putting on the shirt. I almost came unglued when she didn't move to cover up her breasts as she did so. Normally she wouldn't have been so open with me, but it didn't even phase her this time. She slipped on the shorts and flip flops she had been wearing when I had taken her here with me. She kissed my lips chastely before calling out over her shoulder, "I'm late already, see you in a bit." The front door closed and I was still standing there in my bathroom, alone, wishing Pam could have gotten a cab or something. I would have offered to get her car for her, but Lafayette had gone with me yesterday to drive it back behind me to my house. I didn't like her not having a way around, and she wasn't, under any circumstance, driving my car anywhere. I collapsed back onto the bed, taking the pillow that smelled like her and holding it close to me, allowing myself to dream of it being her instead of a bag of feathers.
When I next woke, the sun was barely coming through the curtains, and my phone said it was close to 7pm. I quickly jumped out of bed, cursing myself for sleeping so late. I hadn't realized how tired I was from taking care of Sookie the past few days. I cleaned up and dressed for the club, knowing I had to make an appearance for a while tonight. I hadn't been in the bar since Sookie came over, not wanting to leave her alone. I laced up my boots and after taking a final look in the mirror, I grabbed my keys and phone and was out the door.
My car purred to life as I took to the streets, pulling into the parking lot in record time. I felt my phone vibrate, and saw it was a text from Sookie telling me she would see me in a few hours and was bringing some clothes to stay over for the night again. I sent her one back quickly, telling her that I looked forward to it. I strolled into the club, wondering if I should have a key made for Sookie so she could come and go as she pleased in my home. I loved having her there, and being able to see her when she was in town as often as possible sounded like a good idea to me.
When I walked into the club, I suddenly wished I had stayed at home and waited for Sookie to show back up. Sitting in my booth in the far corner was Victor, and his 'master' of sorts, business partner Felipe. I took a deep breath to compose myself and looked around for Bill. I spotted him across the bar, talking to Lorena in hushed tones. One look at him and I could tell he wasn't happy about something. Lorena seemed to be sticking her thumb into a sore spot on him. When his eyes caught me walking over to him, he pushed her away with his hand, telling her to stop. When she saw me a few feet away, she turned to Bill.
"He better fix this Bill. This isn't your problem," she snapped, and then walked into the back of his office, shutting the door.
"What crawled up her ass?" I sneered at Bill, and he made the gesture towards my office. I nodded, and followed him the few doors over to my office, and sat behind the desk while he closed the door behind him. Instead of taking the seat across from me, he started pacing. He was really upset about something. "What is it?" I urged him to speak up.
"Victor and Felipe are here," he said.
I sighed. "Yes, I saw that. What is the problem?"
He stopped pacing and narrowed his eyes at me. "They are here...to repay you," he started and I held up my hand.
"For what?"
"For accepting their offer, and helping the club pick up," he said, though I remember sending a few of the girls over last week to help out that were regulars here, I didn't remember actually helping in any particular way.
I rolled my eyes. "I only sent a few of the regulars that are easy for a fuck around here," I said. "I was getting tired of their attentions."
He came over and sat across from me in one of the empty chairs. "Well, apparently they are overly appreciative then," he said, pointing a finger towards the door, "they brought a woman for you."
My mouth hung open at the words that came out. "What?" I asked, wondering if what he was saying was what I thought he was.
Bill leaned forward on his arms, and looked me in the eyes. "That girl in the booth is one of their best," he said, disgusted, "she is the favorite of the men there."
I made a face that matched his tone. "Send her away, she isn't welcome here."
He shook his head. "That's for you to tell him. I tried over three times. He offered her to me first before you got here, since I had told him you might not be coming in. That is why Lorena was riding my ass out there."
"I don't want her," I said, though I knew it wasn't doing any good saying it. Bill knew the only person I wanted, and where I had been for the past few days. He called me daily to see if I needed anything, along with Lafayette. It was great to know that no matter how fucked up this world was or what situation I was in, I had two good friends to watch my back, just like I would do for them.
"You will need to talk to him. Maybe you can get him to leave," he said, standing from his chair. "I am going to calm down Lorena." Bill turned towards the door, and gave me a smile before opening it. "I'm glad Sookie is doing better, and is able to get out tonight."
I perked up hearing her name, and smiled back. "Yes, she is doing better. I'm seeing her later on tonight at my home." I smirked. "Tonight is the night Bill."
He laughed and shook his head. "Still can't believe she has made you wait this long. Tell her I said hi later, but not before you deal with those two out in front."
"Send them back here," I said waving my hand and he nodded before walking out. A few minutes later I heard a knock at the door as I was looking down at my phone, seeing Sookie had sent me a text saying she would be coming over here in a few hours. Good, enough time to get rid of these two and back to more important things.
Victor entered in with a girl wearing a tight black mini dress, and Felipe behind her. She was smiling seductively at me, as though she was undressing me with her eyes.
"Eric, it is good to see you again," Victor started, taking a seat in the free chair that Felipe wasn't occupying. "You remember my business partner Felipe."
"Yes, I do," I said, nodding at Felipe, who did the same back. "Not that I am not pleased to see you, but why are you here?"
"We came," Felipe answered, "to thank you for the newer additions to our club. They fit in nicely."
I didn't want to think about what he offered them, or what they were doing there. "That is good," I said.
"As a thank you, we wanted to drop off Cara here, to give you a private showing," Victor said, grabbing the girl's hand and pushing her towards me. She came over and sat on my desk, her legs opening a bit. She was a very beautiful woman, with toned legs that were kissed by the sun.
"Hi," she said softly, while running a finger down her neck, down her chest. I would be lying if I said I wasn't ready to do whatever she wanted. I hadn't had sex in so many weeks, and I was still being cock blocked at home. "I want to dance for you," she whispered, and I looked up to see that we were alone in the room now. I must have been so intrigued with the woman in front of me that I hadn't heard them leave.
I took a better look at her, seeing her breasts pushed up in the leather fabric, her blond hair in waves down her shoulders, looking so much like the goddess that had been denying me for so long. She took my hand in hers and walked me over to the couch, pushing me back so I was sitting. The music from the club was playing so loudly I could hear it through the walls, as she did. She started moving to the rhythm, twirling her hips and body with every sound. I groaned when she put her hands behind her, undoing the zipper that was holding up the fabric. Slowly, she inched it down while her eyes were on me, her body still moving. When she had it undone, she slipped the dress off her shoulders, showing off her soft voluptuous breasts and body.
She wasn't wearing any underwear, or a bra.
I was so fucked.
She moved closer to me, her body swaying with every step, bringing me into a dream state. She came up and straddled my lap, and her sex touched my erection in my pants causing me to moan out. Without another thought, her hands went down to my shirt, unbuttoning the few top ones, and exposing my chest hair. She smiled and leaned down, kissing and sucking at my neck as she ground into my cock, begging it to come out. I was so fucking horny, and this devil woman was here, practically begging me to take her. She looked so much like the woman I wanted, the one I craved. Her scent was of peaches instead of strawberries, but that was easy to overlook. Tentatively, I reached out and touched her breasts with my hands, teasing her nipples with the thumbs. She let out a breathy moan as I bucked up against her, and closed my eyes.
That was when I saw her.
My Sookie, her face, her smile, her eyes.
The woman that I came to adore. The one that I was needing and wanting in my life.
The one that I couldn't live without anymore.
She was the one that I wanted, the only one that could make me happy.
Her touch, her scent, her taste. I couldn't do without, and wouldn't want to.
Without any other thought, I pushed the girl back, and she sat on my knees, still naked, looking at me confused. "What's wrong? Did I do something?" she asked.
I shook my head. "No, I just realized something."
"What's that?" she said, reaching up and covering her breasts. She was very innocent when she carried on a conversation, though one wouldn't know by the way she was acting. What kind of place were those two running across town?
"I love someone," I said out loud for the first time, and then looked up at her eyes. "I love Sookie."
She looked confused still. "Cookie?"
I laughed. "No, Sookie," I said. "I love her," I said again. "I love Sookie Stackhouse." I said and grinned. She smiled back and reached out and touched my face, freeing her breast from her grasp.
"She is a lucky girl then," she said, and before I had the chance to speak, my door flew open.
There stood Sookie, Bill behind her, her eyes tearing up as she took in the little blond woman on my lap, naked.
Shit.

2010-03-15T11:00:00.005-05:00

Grasping At Impossible
Chapter 14:

Two weeks.
It had been two fucking weeks, and she still hadn't called me back.
I stared at the screen of my phone, at the picture I had taken of her that last night in my house. The last time I had seen or heard from her since... well, since she left to go home and still hadn't called me. Did something happen to her? Did she leave on another assignment and not bother telling me? No, she wouldn't do that, I was sure of it. She told me when she went to Brazil, and we weren't as close then as we had become that last evening.
I called her twice, once last week just to see how she was doing, if she wanted to meet me for lunch again in Shreveport, or I would drive to see her. Any fucking way I would have had her by my side. I called again three days ago figuring I had given her enough time since the last one, and told her I was thinking about her. I had never told a chick that, and while it unsettled me, I knew it to be true. I couldn't imagine not having Sookie in my life anymore. Whatever her role was in my life, she was needed. I came to terms with that over the last week or so, since I had time from not seeing her.
I slammed my phone shut, exasperated for letting a girl get to me this way. This is what happens when you let a girl get close Northman, you are screwed, my devilish mind supplied, and while I agreed with it, I also knew that no, she wasn't a mistake. She wasn't something I could have my fill of and leave. Sookie was so much more than that. If I was going to play the fate card I would say there was a reason she walked into my bar that night. Something was bringing us together, even though I didn't believe in that shit.
Decision made, I got in my Impala and peeled out of the club's parking lot, determined to see her. If she was rejecting me in some way I wanted to hear it from her, not just be ignored. Now you sound like your everyday whores you used to bed, I thought to myself, and shook them from my mind. Shit, Sookie really messed with my mind.
I heard my phone ringing and flipped it open without seeing who it was.
"What the hell, Eric?" It was Bill, and his tone had just further irritated me. When I didn't say anything, he continued, "We have a meeting in thirty minutes. Get back to the club."
"You don't order me, Compton," I growled, closing my phone and turning it off. I continued down the road, driving like a bat out of hell. Thank god there wasn't a cop around, otherwise I would have been spending the night in jail, or worse, hiding a body. No one was going to keep me from seeing Sookie, not tonight, not ever.
I pulled up to the old farmhouse and was surprised there were no lights coming from the inside, but from the security light was on with its dim glow. I got out of my car, walked up to the front door, and knocked three times. When no one came, I knocked again, this time louder and harder. After a few seconds, I heard the door unlocking, and open. Nothing could prepare me for what I saw.
My Sookie.
My Sookie was run down, her eyes swollen, her face puffy. She had been crying, and then it hit me.
Her Gran...
"Sookie, are you..." I started, but couldn't finish as she threw herself into my arms, her body going slack. I held her to me as she continued crying, turning into hysterical sobs. How long had she been alone in here? I looked around and saw tons of tissue paper strew along the tables and couches. This place wasn't the best place for her right now. Too many memories were surrounding her of her Gran in this house; she needed time to gather herself before going any further.
I silently cursed myself, seeing her in this state. I should have known...I should have called her more, or came over earlier.
Without hesitation, I picked her up in my arms and took her to my car before going inside and gathering her purse and phone that I saw sitting on the coffee table. I locked up the house with her keys and went back to her. When I got in, she wrapped her arms around my free one and laid her head on my shoulder, silently crying again. I pulled the car out of her drive, hoping I was making the right choice in taking her out of there. She didn't try to stop me, or try to resist in what I was doing, so I didn't worry about it much.
When we arrived at my house, Sookie was already asleep so I carried her into my room, stripping her of her sweats and over worn shirt. She needed to get cleaned up, and from the sight of her hair, she hadn't taken a shower in a few days. When she opened her eyes in my arms I caressed her cheek, hoping she wasn't going to break down on me again.
"Sookie, love?" I said softly, and she mumbled something, sniffling a little. "Would you like me to run you a bath?" After a moment she nodded, so I left her on the bed and started the hot water in my tub. It was big enough to fit two people comfortably, and though I wouldn't lie that I hadn't imagined me in there with her on many occasions, I was sure right now wasn't the time for that. She needed me in a whole other way, one that I wasn't used to, but I was going to try; at least for her.
I got out the package of cherry blossom scented hair things and bath soaps that I had bought for her the other week. I never thought I would have ever done that for a woman, but with Sookie I would do anything for her. I put some bath crystals into the running water and turned on the jets in the tub. I decided to light a few candles so she could relax in the water and not have to worry about getting out quickly. I came back in, and saw her curled on her side, her underwear and bra still on. Her eyes were open and were still slightly wet from her recent tears.
I went to her and took her hand, helping her up from the bed. She leaned into me, and followed as I took her into the bathroom and helped her with her bra and panties. I didn't bother allowing my eyes to linger on her, and lowered her into the hot water. She sat up in the tub and didn't move as I began bathing her body with the rag and soap. I washed her hair as well, taking time to comb it out after applying and rinsing the conditioner. After I was done, she leaned back on the bath pillow behind her and sighed.
I sat on the floor, and laced my fingers through her hand closet to me. After a few minutes she finally spoke. "She's gone."
"I'm sorry, dear one," I said, rubbing small circles on her palm.
"I'm all alone."
"You're not."
She let out a harsh sob. "She was all I had left." Instead of responding, I helped her out of the tub as she continued crying, and dried her off with a soft towel. I grabbed the shirt I had taken out of my drawer and helped her put it on, and she looked at me with sad eyes. "I'm so sorry Eric." I had no idea what she was sorry for, but I didn't respond to her either. I dried her hair some more with the towel, before helping her in my bed, and getting her situated. I went back into the bathroom to get dressed for bed, just taking off my clothes and keeping my boxers on. I blew out the candles and took my place back on the bed with her, pulling her body to me.
She rolled over and placed her head on my chest. After a few minutes I decided to break the silence. "You have me, Sookie."
"Huh?" she asked sleepily.
I tightened my arms around her, stroking her arms and back with my hands. "You aren't alone Sookie. I am here, you have me."
She nuzzled her face up to my neck and sighed. "I love you, Eric."
I froze, feeling my body stiffen immediately. She... loved... me?
I looked down at her and heard a soft snore escape her lips. Did she mean it, or did she say that as she was sleeping? Everything in my body screamed to get her out of my bed, my house, my life. I couldn't believe I had let my guard down so much that she was falling... I couldn't even think it. Shit, this wasn't good.
Laying there, thinking about her, feeling her body next to me, her warm scent feeling my nostrils, I knew I was in it deep. Having her this close was becoming enjoyable for me, but where and when did she fall in love with me? Was I with her? No, I doubt my feelings were that deep for her. I craved her company, her body, which I still hadn't gotten a chance to really enjoy, and yet she loves me? I thought you had to really know the person before you took that step of confession. What was even scarier was that feeling in the pit of my stomach that my feelings weren't far off from falling for her. Her face and her laughter was what I wanted to surround me, to be with me always.
Holding her closer, I fell dead to the world the way it should be, with her in my arms.

OoO

The next few days passed really slowly. Sookie hadn't shown any progress since coming to my home, and I couldn't blame her. The only thing that she wanted was to lie in my arms, and when she took a bath, for me to be next to her, talking. She didn't want to talk about her Gran too much, but about her work, and where Pam was. She was apparently called back to LA for some reason by Sookie's boss, and went for the both of them. She was due back in a few days, and Sookie never called to tell her what was happening.
"I didn't want her to worry," she said, looking down at her hands. "I didn't want anyone to worry."
"I tried calling you..."
"I know."
After a moments silence, I finally asked her, "Why?"
She looked at me, her lashes wet with tears. "Why what?"
"Why didn't you call me when this happened?" I asked her, taking her hand in mine. "I told you I would be there for you, so why didn't you answer my call?"
She let out a sigh, closing her eyes. "I was unsure of what...we are, exactly. I didn't want to make you come...it wouldn't be right."
I waggled my eyebrows at her. "You can make me cometo you anytime, Sookie," I teased her, trying to keep the mood light so she wouldn't start crying again. She huffed instead, crossing her arms.
"You see, Eric?" she said, glaring at me. "I don't know what we are. You always kid about things like this."
I took her back into my arms, upset that she would think that. Had I not been showing her since I met her how I liked her? Was it not apparent when we went to Brazil? This woman really didn't know how to read between the lines if she couldn't see how much I liked her.
"Sookie, stop that," I scolded her. "I have told you repeatedly that I am here for you. Never doubt that."
I could feel the tension fall out of her body in my embrace, and she nuzzled my neck. "I'm sorry."
"Stop saying that too," I said softly. "You have nothing to be sorry for." She kissed my neck, and I squeezed her tighter. "Just be here with me, Sookie."
Sookie leaned up and kissed my lips before nodding her head to me. If she would let me, I would take care of her. I wanted her to lean on me, to trust me. It occurred to me that this was what I had been feeling all along, and now that I knew it, I wasn't letting her go.

2010-03-15T11:00:00.002-05:00

Grasping At Impossible
Chapter 13:

I awoke by some godly power, before 9 am. I haven't been able to do that since college. Having my morning classes burned into my brain, no matter what time I went to sleep the night before I always woke with more than enough time to get ready. I may have partied hard and went to, as well as ran, many house parties, but I never forgot my main reason for being there. I wanted to make something of myself, even though my background and family support system was nonexistent. I proved to myself, and whatever higher power there was out there, that Eric Northman wouldn't cower easily.
I got out of bed, eager for the days activities. I was nervous having Sookie coming to my home, and although she had seen the outside, the inside was still a mystery to her. I wanted to make it look presentable, as much as a man could, so I immediately started straightening up whatever was lying around the house. Luckily, the maid that came over weekly was there when I was out of the country, so I didn't have to worry about delving my hands into cleaning products. My bedroom was considered the messiest, and after thinking about it, I decided I should pick it up. After all, who knew what would happen tonight when my girl came over.
That brought me up short.
My girl.
Was she my girl? Could I rightfully call say she was, or not? I ran my hand through my hair, wondering when it became this confusing. One minute I was all about fucking and leaving her, then the next I wanted her as mine and mine alone. The very thought of another man touching her sent my blood boiling. I really needed to figure this out before I did something I regretted. I wasn't one to let something slip through my fingers. If I wanted something in particular, all I had to do was claim it as my own. Did I want Sookie that way? To tell the truth, I wasn't sure. I was growing fonder of her as the days went by. Something about her made me feel whole… the way I felt when my parent were still alive.
I broke out of my reverie to the sound of my phone going off. I groaned when I saw the name lighting up the face.
"Hey sugar," his voice said without a greeting from me, "how was your night?"
"It went fine," I said, taking out a fresh pair of jeans and picking out a white button up shirt from my closet. I walked into the bathroom and turned on the shower, giving it a few moments to warm up before jumping in.
"What are you up to today?" he asked, and from the sound of it, he was driving in his car.
"I have Sookie coming over in about an hour, so I need to get ready," I answered, perturbed. I really didn't have time to check in with him.
"What?" he barked into the phone. "I thought you were going to think about this, and figure out what is going on before seeing her again."
"I did think it over."
There was silence for a moment before he asked, "And?"
I sighed into the phone. "I'm not really sure Lafayette. I know I really like her, and want to be around her."
"So you admit there is more than just the desire to fuck," he deadpanned, and I snorted. "Good for you Eric. Maybe now you will have a real relationship."
"Hold up," I said quickly. "I didn't say that. I only told you I realize there could be more, if I so desired it."
"Jesus Christ Eric, just decide soon," he griped back. "Your love life is giving me whiplash."
"Then butt out," I yelled back before slamming my phone shut. As much as that man was like a brother to me, he knew exactly how to piss me off at times.
I quickly hopped into the shower, cleaning and rinsing off, not wanting to stay in there any longer than needed. Normally I would have taken the time to get off, but I was too eager to see Sookie. As I was drying off, I got a text from her saying she was ten minutes away. At top speed, I threw my clothes on and dried my hair. I threw on some cologne I noticed she likedwhen we were in Brazil and checked myself out in the mirror. I was looking really good, and if anything happened tonight, which I hoped it would, I would be ready for it. I was brushing my teeth when I heard a knock at the door. I spit out the toothpaste in my mouth, and hurriedly ran down the hall to answer it. I put on my best smile as I unlocked the door.
"Sookie, you're ear..." I stopped abruptly when I saw who was on my doorstep. "What the fuck are you doing here?" I growled.
He breezed past me shaking his head, and taking a seat on the couch. "Is that any way to speak to your best friend?" he asked, looking offended.
Not bothering to close the door, since leaving it open would make it easier to throw him out on his ass, I walked over to him and loomed over his seated form. " Get. Out. Now."
"Why?" he asked innocently.
"You know Sookie is coming over any minute, so leave," I stated firmly. He leaned back into the couch, getting comfortable.
"Great. I would like to get to know her better."
"Oh hell no!" I said, wanting nothing more than to smack the smirk off his face. Just as I was about to grab his shirt and remove him by force, I heard a soft knock at the front door.
"Hello?" said a sweet voice. I calmed down a bit, and walked over tot the foyer to greet her. "Eric?" When she saw me her eyes lit up. "I wasn't sure I should come in, since your front door was open."
I waved my hand, stepping closer to her. "Come in, my love," I said, taking the heavy bags from her hands, "let me get those for you."
She smiled gratefully and reached up, planting a kiss on my cheek. I would be lying if I said the feel of her lips against my skin didn't do things to me. "Thanks baby. I'm going to get the rest from the car, and I'll be right in." I watched as she bounced down the steps back towards her car, her ass swaying with every move. I emitted a low groan and headed back into the house towards the kitchen. Lafayette was leaning against the counter with a shit-eating grin on his face.
"Love, huh?" he chuckled under his breath.
"Would you just leave?" I seethed and he shook his head. "You know you are ruining her plans for us tonight."
His smile dropped from his face. "Her plans?"
"Yes, her plans. She wanted to cook me dinner and watch a movie...alone. Not my idea, hers," I stated plainly trying to convey the importance here. It's one thing to ruin my plans but to do that to her… he was walking on a thin line with me. He seemed to realize this and had the decency to look abashed.
"Dude, I thought this was all a part of your scheme..."
"No, it isn't," I answered, exasperated with him for the night. He needed to leave before I really did something I regretted to him. He opened his mouth to reply but Sookie walked in, carrying a small ice chest and a couple more bags. She breezed past us towards the kitchen and I was pleased she was comfortable taking control in my home.
Her face fell slightly when she saw Lafayette beside me, but she quickly recovered, taking his hand in hers and giving him a warm smile. "Its good to see you again, Lafayette. Are you staying for dinner?"
"No!"
"Yes!"
We both answered at the same time, and I turned to glare at him. He really wanted to meet an early grave tonight it seemed. Sookie looked back and forth between us while unloading a few containers from her bags, and a bottle of wine.
"Well, which is it?" she asked, amusement coloring her tone.
Lafayette was the first to break out of my gaze. "I would love to sugar, but I don't want to intrude on your evening," he said, batting his eyelashes and pouting his bottom lip out. I suppressed the growl building in my chest. Sookie seemed to notice my unhappiness and placed her small hand on my chest, effectively bringing me out of my homicidal state, and looked up at me with her big blue eyes – the same ones I get lost in.
"I'm sure Eric won't mind," she said sweetly, and I felt warmth flood through my body from her gaze. I leaned down and brushed my lips against hers, stroking my fingers across her cheek.
"I don't mind," I sighed. As much as I didn't want him here, fucking up whatever Sookie had planned, I couldn't deny her anything she asked of me. She gave me a smiled and continued unloading her bags.
"Then go ahead and pour our guest a glass of wine from what I brought," she instructed, and I raised a brow at the our guest remark. After a few seconds of thought, I reached for the bottle of wine, rolling my eyes at Lafayette and his smirk.
He was by my side instantly with three wine glasses, and I poured it while giving him a hateful look. The bastard just wouldn't get the point, and I made a mental note to fuck him over the next chance I got.
"Thanks," he said, accepting the full glass of wine from me. He gave me a wink before turning to Sookie. "So sugar, what are you making tonight?"
She looked at me, and I saw a mischievous twinkle come to her eyes before opening the ice chest she had brought with her. "Well," she said while reaching in and taking out a de-feathered chicken that was still bleeding from the neck. I heard Lafayette let out a loud gasp and back up a few steps. "First I need to get this chicken cut up and boiled so I can use the meat. That will take about an hour and a half." I watched as she directed this answer at Lafayette who was looking paler by the second. I watched as she explained where she was going to cut it, and what pieces were the best to use in certain other recipes. Lafayette just stared at her in shock as she took out a knife from the bag beside her, that was a sharpened clever and placed it next to the dead bird in the sink. To tell the truth, I was as shocked as he was, though I was trying not to show it. What the hell went through this girls head that she thought she had to kill a chicken to make me dinner? I shuffled through my memory, trying to remember if I saw chickens at her Gran's house.
"You killed that chicken?" Laff asked bluntly, his hand over his heart.
Sookie gave him a wry smile. "You can't make homemade chicken pot pie without a real fresh chicken. Anyone worth their salt in the kitchen will tell you that Lafayette," she replied, and I stood there, not knowing really what to say or do. She looked over at me and gave me a quick wink. I was stunned for a whole two seconds before I caught on. I finally got a good look at Lafayette and saw he was getting more uncomfortable by the second. His eyes were focused on the chicken bleeding out in the sink. She picked it up and he made a gesture as though he was going to be sick. Either she liked making people uncomfortable or, as I was seeing it, she didn't want his presence here, anymore than I did.
I decided to take a chance and play along. "You pluck those feathers yourself too?"
Her eyes shot over to mine and danced with amusement. Sookie was surprising me every day with her quirky nature. Sure I knew she was a country girl, but I didn't expect her to take it this far. What next? Was she going to bring a doe she shot and gut it in my garage? I shook my head, trying to get that image out.
"Yes, I did. But not before I cut its head off."
That was the end of the line for Lafayette who stood up from the counter and took those few more steps to grab his jacket and make a beeline for the door. "I think I will leave you two and the bleeding bird to your night. I am going."
I walked over to him and grabbed his arm, turning him as Sookie came up beside him. "Are you sure, hon?" she asked sweetly. "There will be more than enough to go around."
"Thanks, but no thanks," he said, taking a few more steps, backing away from us. "I have a previous engagement, uh, tonight...but you two have fun."
Without another word he darted out the front door, letting himself out of my home. It took a lot to stump Lafayette, and Sookie seemed to get to him just as much as she does to me. I walked over to the door and locked it to make sure no one else had the nerve to show up and ruin my evening with Sookie. When I came back into the kitchen, she already had the chicken cut up, and was washing off the parts, placing them into the pot she had on the stove.
I stood behind her, wrapping my arms around her waist, happy when she leaned into my embrace. I kissed her behind her ear, watching as she put different spices into the pot. She covered it, then turned in my arms so she was facing me. "Do you think he will be upset I scared him so much? I just figured..."
"Don't worry about it," I said nuzzling her cheek with my nose. "I thought you got rid of him perfectly."
She sighed, placing her arms around my neck, her lips grazing against mine. "I missed you Eric," she said against them, and kissed me. I let out a low moan as she sucked my bottom lip into her mouth, nibbling the soft skin. I responded, bringing my hands around to cup her ass, enjoying the whimpering sounds coming from her throat. Her ass fit perfectly in my hands, and I was grateful she had the curves that befitted a woman. I liked her soft flesh under my hands, and relished in her warmth. I deepened the kiss, pressing her body closer to mine, needing to have her closer.
After a moment, I pulled back, looking at her flushed face. Her eyes were half open, hazed with lust for me, wanting more.
Good.
"Come. Lets watch a movie, while your kill boils in the pot," I said, and she giggled from my words, wrapping her hand into my extended one. I led her to the couch and grabbed the controller, pressing play for the DVD to come on. I placed an arm around her shoulder, and she cuddled into my side, waiting for the movie to come on.
"The 13th Warrior?" she gasped as the credits came on the screen.
"Yes, do you not like this movie?" I asked trying to keep my worry out of my tone. A woman that didn't appreciate the classics would never find much in common with me. Especially a movie that goes with my heritage.
"No, I do like it. I haven't seen it in a while," she assured me with a small smile. "Last time was a few years ago at my flat in New York."
"For someone who travels a lot, you still manage to have an apartment?" I asked, wondering where she lived.
"I do," she said. "I own two. The other is in LA, for when I have to check in with the company. My New York one is mainly for overnight stays. When I have to travel out of the country most flights that are booked for me leave from the airports there."
"So where do you stay the most?" I inquired, and she gave me a sweet smile.
"Wouldn't you like to know," she teased, and I kissed her nose.
"I would," I stated, watching her eyes dancing.
"You wouldn't believe me if I told you."
"Europe?" I asked.
"No."
"Asia?"
"No," she answered with a giggle.
"So you live in North America?"
"Yes."
"Then it won't surprise me," I said with a smirk.
She rolled her eyes. "San Antonio, Texas. I live in a sweet yellow house in town that I had renovated from the early 1900's. I love it," she said softly. I would have expected her to say she lived close to her Grandmothers house, but apparently this place called to her, and she felt more at home there.
"I hope I will see it one day," I whispered, kissing the top of her head.
Her eyes looked into mine and I could see for a moment how life would be with her, in a world where I would be able to...
"I would like that," she offered before turning back to the TV.
Halfway through the movie, Sookie got up and de-boned the now cooked chicken, placing the meat into a large bowl. I followed her in there, keeping conversation with her about where she learned these recipes and her cooking skills. She explained that her Gran believed in organic things and to make the dish really stand out, you needed the freshest ingredients to make it just right. I was enthralled watching her make the sauce and toss the veggies, the ones she picked from her Gran's garden last night, along with killing the meat. She got out a baking pan and poured the contents into it, then got out a thin sheet of dough from the fridge she had brought with her. She covered the dish, and poked holes through it, wrapped it in foil and stuffed it into the preheated oven. Sookie washed her hands and gave me an amused look.
"What?"
I was still in shock that she was going through this much trouble for me. "You didn't have to make this much for me Sookie. I would have been happy if you brought a frozen pizza over and that was our dinner." It was the truth. I would have ate anything she brought over for me, as long as it was tasteful, and as long as she was here with me.
"Just let me work my magic," she said, and I quirked an eyebrow at her.
"What do you mean?"
"You know what they say..."
"No, what do they say?" she had my attention. She pursed her lips and gave me a smirk, coming over and wrapping her arms around my waist, and placing a quick kiss on my lips.
"The way to a mans heart is through his stomach," she whispered against my lips, then walking back into the living area. I had so many things I could have quipped back with, but none of those words suited Sookie. No, when a woman made advances towards me before her, I would simply shoot them down. A remark like that would have put a girl in tears, hearing my heart belonged to no one. As much as I wanted to correct her, I feared that she was actually closer to the truth with that statement than I had thought previously.
I grabbed the two wine glasses, making sure to top them off and followed her, sitting myself on the couch. She gave me an appreciative smile while taking a sip of her wine. We settled into our positions once again with her in my arms while we watched the rest of the movie. When it was time for her to check the dish the movie was over, and I picked up the next one I had chosen to watch. She watched and gave me an unamused expression.
"Conan the Barbarian?" she asked, quirking her eyebrow. "Seriously Eric, I get you are all about swords and fighting movies, but I didn't know you would subject me to watch this!"
I laughed as the movie went on and kissed her head as she grumbled next to me. "This is another of my favorites. You have something against it?"
"As a matter of fact, I never liked this movie," she huffed, and I chuckled.
"What are you so against?" I asked, trying to feign being hurt from her comments.
"It's so stupid is all. What's the next one you have planned? Are we going to watch the one where the man rides a horse that is on fire, and can fly, to some pyramid or some shit. I bet you have that one too," she griped and I didn't know where this side of her was coming from. Was she PMSing?
"What?"
She shook her head. "Oh never mind," she sighed. "I just get moody sometimes."
At that, I couldn't contain it any longer, and I busted out laughing. She turned in my arms and glared at me. "Are you talking about Krull?" That was another of my favorites, though I wasn't sure if I had it anymore. I would need to check.
"ARG!"
I laughed more, pulling her to my chest and kissing her cheek. "Oh Sookie, you amuse me so!"
"So glad I can," she mumbled against me, and I held her tighter.
Four hours and another movie later, we were in the kitchen cleaning the dishes from the excellent dinner she had prepared for us. Watching her be so comfortable in my home made me wish deep down she would always be here doing these little things with me. I could see us years from now, doing just this. While the thoughts of a future with Sookie streamed through my mind, she told me of her photography assignments, about why Thalia was such a soft subject for her. She had been working with her for over a few a years, following her to homes as she documented all her contributions to the community. She told me that she enjoyed working for her boss Sophie-Ann, and was always sent on the assignments that fit her perfectly. She said that she really doesn't need to do work for her, seeing she was so known for her work, and could branch off on her own, but she was comfortable staying with her. She was pretty much working for the fun of it now, and she really only did the assignments that she was most passionate about. She loved her job from what I could tell, and that made me respect her even more. I found myself wanting to know more about the little things in her life that she held so close to her heart, why it was she left Louisiana and never looked back. She said she always wanted to explore the world, and when her Gran encouraged it, sending her to school and never let her back down, she found the courage to do it, knowing no matter where she was, her Gran supported her.
"Your Gran has always been there for you," I said softly and I saw her eyes glisten with tears. We were back on the couch, our limbs tangled together, while we listened to the soft music coming from the stereo system. She was sprawled across me, laying her body on mine, her face nestled in the crook of my neck. My hands were traveling down her spine, gently caressing her back.
"She has," she said, sniffling. After a moment silence she whispered, "I will be all alone when she is gone. I don't know what I will do."
I held her closer to me, my heart aching at her words. I wanted to tell her that no, she wouldn't be alone, and yes, she did have someone to lean on, but the words wouldn't come. Moments passed, and she sat up on my chest, leaning on her elbows. I wiped away the few tears that fell down her cheeks and kissed her forehead.
"Will you stay the night?" I asked her, and she closed her eyes.
"I really shouldn't. Gran needs me," she answered, and laid her head back on my chest. Though she said she should leave for the evening, she didn't make any move to budge from her current position. I held her tighter against me, wondering if there would ever be a day, when I wouldn't...no, couldn't let her go.